Open this door right now!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

tategoi ("future koi"): a young fish with competitive potential retained by the breeder for further development.

Christopher, 32, lifelong biology student. I've been on tumblr since 2010. I met my wife @unicornpsyche here. If you were here in the old days, thanks and sorry. I work in healthcare now and mostly post about my plant and animal projects (and pro sumo during tournaments). Recent projects include rearing field-collected monarch eggs in an attempt to augment the local wild population. I'm a bad tagger but try #fortune and #folly for the cats (Folly's albino, ask me about their genetics), #ranchu for the goldfish, and #danaus plexippus for the bugs.

Aliens are real but they're not from space.

She's sleeping on the couch next to me. I've been drinking. I have my pain pills, my buprenorphine, Suboxone, we call them my subwoofers, but I haven't been budgeting well so I can't take any more so I'm drinking. My wife has cancer.

My dad is in town and wants to see me. He doesn't know and won't care. I don't want to do this. I have no idea what he'll say. I was afraid it would be bad news, something like "your grandfather is dying", something like "your disappointment is eternal and your failures could never be atoned for", but apparently my grandfather is fine and he's out having fun with his new girlfriend, and he's moved on since Nana died and he's fine, he's fine. They're all fine, and they're moving on without me, and my wife has cancer.

And I'm here on the couch drinking fucking Karkov because I don't know what's coming or what it'll cost. But I know no one will help me cover it.

What outlasts love? Shame, regret, debt. The songs will be the same, the tracks will play exactly as they've always been, but I haven't danced in a long time. My wife has cancer. You can't dance in a wheelchair. You can't dance pushing one.

@unicornpsyche requested "coconut shrimp but not fried" recently so I came up with this. I like to prepare it in front of my neocaridinas so they don't get any ideas.

Add shrimp, honey, mirin, soy sauce, black pepper, garlic, ginger, and shredded coconut to your wok - as always, measure with your heart. There should be enough honey to coat each shrimp plus some extra. Good splash of mirin, just a little soy sauce.

You can just use bacon like it's pork belly when making luscious udon. I learned this from Kinoe, 93.