Ravioli

remember kids: rats are the capri sun of the vampire world

hi what the FUCK does this mean

Blood

oh red

Growing up in an abusive household is a fucking trip dude……If you’ve never had someone angrily wash a dish at you or fold a sock in your direction then how are you gonna understand why I get nervous when you quietly do the laundry, or why I ask “are you mad at me?” when you set the bag of groceries down too hard? It’s a totally different way of living and it impacts you long after you’ve left the situation.

This is so important.

Abused kids speak a language you can’t learn

I’ll never forget the people who threw a fit about this post because they didn’t understand the anxiety when someone just seems angry while in your proximity

oh i am so genius

instead of purchase one sandwich i can purchase the materials (bread, soap, etc) and make more than one sandwich

not to be fake deep but… I wanna dance with somebody, I wanna feel the heat with somebody… I wanna dance with somebody… somebody who loves me

Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying “do you think you’re ready” in my voice and I screamed and drove away

*wakes up feeling ugly* oh god I have to be funny today

Just cus i cant live off pasta doesnt mean i wont live off pasta

I lived off of almost nothing but spaghetti for 3 years straight and then they had to remove my colon.

That sounds like a you problem

i eat a lot of bread because it’s soft and i deserve it. also i am gorgeous