hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

a car you used to drive can also be a kind of dead wife

*sigh* fine, fine, i'll be the new doctor who showrunner. bring me two twinks, britain's tallest woman, and 1000 pounds worth of alumininamian foil

so many people don't understand how abelist it is to kill your brother with a rock

do you actually like being alone or did you just get used to no one ever showing up for you

"theyll hate you for this" "but theyll be alive" is THE juiciest thing to me

evil therapist: to ground yourself, look around, name 5 things you can kill, and 4 things you can at least maim