This tweet read me to filth
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
DEAR READER
Cosimo Galluzzi
Not today Justin

oozey mess
Peter Solarz
taylor price
Sweet Seals For You, Always
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trying on a metaphor
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosmic Funnies
Stranger Things
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

Kiana Khansmith
styofa doing anything
sheepfilms
Sade Olutola

Andulka
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Spain

seen from Malaysia
seen from TΓΌrkiye

seen from Italy

seen from United States

seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Brazil

seen from Philippines
seen from United States
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@tamuru
This tweet read me to filth

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Interviewer: Mr. President. During your campaign, you have put a large emphasis on improving American relations with the tiny island nation of Rukuruku.
President: I have.
Interviewer: Why Rukuruku?
President: Three reasons. One, Rukuruku is an important strategic ally in protecting American interests in the South Pacific.
President: Two. Rukuruku is the only democracy in the region.
Interviewer: It's the only dry land for thousands of miles in all directions.
President: Exactly. And lastly, and most importantly, Rukuruku lies a mere 10 miles from the Sunken City of R'lyeh where the Great Old One Cthulhu slumbers.
Interviewer: That's the most important reason?
President: Of course. The Necronomicon says that when Cthulhu wakes from his eons of sleep, his rage could only be slaked with a blood sacrifice.
President: It's imperative that Rukuruku be there to serve that purpose when the day finally comes.
Interviewer: So you're supporting Rukuruku out of the belief that it should be destroyed in an apocalyptic future?
President: No, of course not. But 50% of my base are Cthulhu cultists.
on sharing one's opinons
I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things
my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say
overdraft fee is crazy like bro you literally know i dont have the money

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me: what year was this?
person: oh this was 2008
me: ah⦠the final battle year
person: of what?
me: bionicle
person: your therapist isnβt working
some people on tumblr defend shitty cat ownership norms using vaguely progressive language and misunderstood science. i've joked about this before but it is legitimately baffling to me how people don't hear themselves.
like for example, the idea i joked about before: "people don't like cats because cats enforce their boundaries. if you get scratched or bit, you probably deserve it.". <- this is a fucking insane thing to accept of any animal under your care. i 100% agree that people need to learn to accept animals's boundaries and not push them, its a huge part of avoiding animal attacks. but accepting that your animal will lash out violently as one of their first resorts for dealing with broken boundaries is a stupid and dangerous thing to allow in your house. it's not the cats' fault, of course. but if you let this happen without trying any behavioral training? you have failed your cat and put it and others in danger.
*cry laughing* the little goading 'they made it better!'
That's the comment if someone who knows EXACTLY what button to push with someone else to get, 'i am going to castrate him tonight.' as a flat response.
A Chill Vibe

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So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. π.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Remember when joining fandom as a younger person meant lurking for a bit and figuring out the vibe and etiquette instead of coming in on day one and calling people weirdos for liking weirdo shit in the weirdo factory.
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HELL YES UNTREATED STANDING WATER
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GROW MY CHILDREN
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My children have invented a new mosquito-borne illness of Crash Your App
Reblog to give your mutual's browser Digital Dengue Fever

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how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.
#i appreciate how genuine and non-judgemental this comic feels #like left one is not upset at right one for caring while being powerless #and right one seems genuinely distraught and not performative
I'm glad the facial expressions are coming across accurately! It can feel so absurd to say gosh I hope the torment maze removes some fire and rusty nails soon, but alas, sometimes that's all one can do.
Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"