I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

I've recently had an urge to color my hair. It's been years since I have, and I've almost reached a point of complete virgin hair on my head (save for a few centimeters here and there or bleach left). I stopped this chemical intrusion because my hair was truly in bad shape back in ... sophomore year of college? Yea, up until that point, I had dyed my hair about every 6 months. It looked dead like hay and I was ready for healthy black hair again.

This does not go to say that I haven't found ways to cheat the system since then. My first falling off the wagon with hair coloring was with feather extensions. My, did I love those things. They looked beautiful and accented my hair really well. I went through four sets before my hair became too long for most of them. They were very easy to keep up with and stayed in my hair for around 4 months (most last 6 months, but I wanted change). It wasn't until you take them out that you notice that it does damage your hair at the roots a little bit. No biggie though.

So a couple weeks ago, I felt like I needed some color again. I looked into hair chalking because that was the new fad among beauty gurus all over the internet. It seemed easy enough, so I gave it ago.

My initial reaction right after I put the colors in was that I loved it. Since I have black hair, no much can show up on my hair vibrantly without me bleaching it first. But the soft pastel colors were bright and beautiful and looked wonderful against my natural black.

Yes, my initial reaction was good, but that was all the good that came from this project. I immediately looked around on the floor and sink and saw that a lot of the pastel had powdered out and gotten everywhere. It had also got on all my surrounding body parts i.e. ears, cheeks, neck. It had just made a mess and I am already not cool with that.

Furthermore, it is not very practical except if you just want some bright highlights for a night out. The vibrant colors lasted for about 2 hours, and then started to fade. This was because the powder had started getting over all my clothes and my hands whenever I would forgetfully touch my hair.

I couldn't stand this anymore, so I had to wash it out the next night. The worst part of it all is that it left my hair dry and hay-like. I washed and conditioned as usual, but something about the pastel's chemical makeup changed the texture of my hair. It feels hard, as if it had a whole can of hairspray in it. 

I have just gone through my second wash and waiting for my hair to dry. I hope it has returned to it's usual smooth texture. Needless to say, I probably won't be doing this on a regular basis. I thought I could before I tried it because I would always want some bright colors in my hair, but all this is not worth it. But since I still have some leftover, I think I'll put in one or two strands of colors on certain nights when I know I'll get sweaty from dancing anyway.

Growing up, there were many things I didn't understand about religion. I would hear about it from my friends and they would tell me that I was an inadequate human being because I did not believe in their God. This wasn't their fault. We were just kids, and it is clear that their parents did not give them the right message to spread. Even still, it had a resounding effect. For some time, I didn't feel whole because I didn't have something to pray to. I tried so hard. I tried to put myself in various churches only to feel awkward because most of them weren't particularly welcoming. When I did end up having knowledgeable and non-judgmental conversations (these were rare), I respected but not necessarily agreed. I had no choice but to find my own way in life.

Through the years, I've learned that the greatest gift a person could have is appreciation. It is such an essential part of one's happiness to be able to be grateful for all that they have. When we truly realize that we may not make it to tomorrow, that's when we forego the bullshit that we worry about today and enjoy life instead. So many of my friends that are sad or "depressed" lack this and it is so difficult to watch from afar.

That's when I realized that so many of these religions breed this type of behavior: requests and transactions. The goal is to make requests to a higher being, and offering worship in return. In reality, this is a one-way transaction. I mean, if the higher being really exists, they are a higher being for a reason. One man's worship would not be a fair payment for the higher being to grant them, say, wealth. Because that just means that all we do is want, want, want. Seriously though, what have you really done to deserve all that you're asking for?

I knew I needed something less 'rule-oriented' and more of a way of life. That's when I found Daoism. The first time I heard anything about Daoism, I was in human sexuality class (ironic). Reading about this philosophy was like affirming that there are a group of people out there that feel the same way I do. It was meant to be. But most importantly, it's teachings of positive energy was what changed my way of life. 

I am so much happier being thankful for all that I've been given rather than wanting more all the time, feeling like the world owed me happiness. This is not to say that I've become complacent and have stopped looking for improvements. But being able to accept my life and world the way that it is and all that it has given me -- that gives me enough reason to smile. It all comes down to attitude. If you look at the world as something that owes you, a place that is not fulfilling its duty of granting you every wish you could dream of, then you'll never be happy. I wake up thankful every day, seeing my surroundings as an oblivion of opportunity and wondering how I can contribute to making the world a better place. I'm the happiest person I know.

It's amazing that somewhere some time ago, some dude (or chick) made up the word 'friendzoned' just because they couldn't get what they want out of someone else. They had a disagreement and then proceeded to whine about it, spreading this word like a disease ... as if people should pity someone just because they can't get any. Consequently, anyone who is not willing to sleep with someone is seen as the bad guy. What kind of society of little brats have we bred? Nothing like glorifying being spoiled to make our generation look even better than we already do. Not to point fingers or anything, but it seems 'friendzoned' is generally used by guys. But this usage doesn't make sense. They don't want to be more than friends. They just want to fuck.

When girls use it, at least the ones I've heard, they really should be saying 'fuckzoned.' Stereotypically, girls would want a relationship out of the men they are sleeping with, but are limited to just having sex. Oh wait, but nobody wants to admit that. 

So not only are we a generation of spoiled brats, but our word usage is completely off. Either way, people are just not getting what they want and decide to complain about it, like children.

The creation and use of these terms are just ridiculous, in my opinion. What does this even say about us? That whenever someone disagrees with us, we should create a debacle so that people can sympathize with us, assuming that we are entitled to have anything (and anyone) we want? That's just crazy talk. 

I find it quite offensive, really. I am more than my body. I have a mind. It is such a turn off when I meet a guy who is seemingly interested in me as a person but becomes disinterested immediately after finding out that I have a boyfriend. It's as if I'm not worth their time if the end result is not us having sex. I am a great friend, and I'd like to think that my wit and intellect have the ability to enrich most people's daily lives. Good friendship really is priceless.