eat your heart out

i no longer respect the hustle i want universal basic income and dignity for everyone

[image reads: “geology rocks, but geography is where it’s at”]

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

stop being hard on yourself and start blaming everything on someone you don’t like

i bet it feels good as fuck to erupt from the soil as a skeleton warrior

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

had a meeting at work yesterday with a guy i didn’t know and he said the phrase, “feed two birds with one scone”, which i thought indicated a conscientious and generous spirit

going to get my blood tested and dr acula and nurse feratu walk in. hope everything is ok

oh shit it’s darkiplier!!!! save me secretary of defense james mattis!