like father like daughter.

X

“Why are you calling me about your boner like I can do something about it?” “You should get the hint that, you know, we’ve moved past the sexual part of the experience.” “Now you’re gone, and we’re texting a lot, but I’m having very romantic feelings about you.” “You’re still fucking other dudes though, right?” “Yes, of course I’m fucking other people!” “Um, okay.  I’m gonna go get brunch with the love of my life.” “You make me feel better about being a lunatic, and - but maybe that’s a crutch, right?” “They probably just want you to be their s/o because everybody wants you to be their s/o.” “Hey, do you think I have a shot at actually hooking up with ____?” “He’s not bi.  Me, I’m bi, I’m fresh, I’m hip.” “You posted it on your Facebook.  You’re not subtle.” “I’m always prepared.  Unless of course prepared means ‘sober’, which, in that case, I’m rarely prepared.” “I’m here and I LOVE YOU!” “These are real tears.” “They are liquid.” “Oh, Tuesday, light me up.” “Nip slip!” “Is it?” “I don’t know, is it?” “Maybe the whole relationship is just in my head.” “I feel like these feelings I have for you are real, though.” “Oh, they are real.  You’re also a real BITCH.” “And then, you know, if it goes well, we’ll get sexual together.” “Okay, fine, I’ll go on one date with you and if I like you we’ll just get married.” “So my entire life people have told me I’m the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen.  And I’m like, ’Nooo, I’m beautiful on the inside.’” “I’m like, yeah, he’s under the water, has two claws, and he had sex with my mom.” “I don’t care about you and your boring little lives, ‘cause I’m gonna go have so much fun in the bathroom.” “Oh my god, you’re so fucking beautiful.” [text] shirtless dance party at my place???? “I’m a HUGE bitch.”

best friends [x]

‘ i want one. nobody needs two tacos. you are being selfish. ’