You're not a body. you are a soul. You have a body

FOR MY FOLLOWERS THAT HAVE DIFFICULTY CARING FOR PLANTS AND ASK WHAT THEY SHOULD BUY, THIS IS REALLY GREAT!! 

guys who rarely wear suits look at least 385% hotter when wearing a suit while guys who usually wear suits look 451% hotter when wearing casual clothes trust me this is science

Can confirm this scientific information.

if you like danny devito…….and getting caught in the rain……..

i wanna be loved……. like overwhelmingly loved….

‘dad bod’ is just ‘bear’ in Straight

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

the fact that I can’t grow horns is really cramping my style

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

thats not a coincidence

shout out to the little rat in my ribcage for keeping my blood pump pump pumping!

neil banging out the heartbeat

house arrest is so funny to me. you commited crimes, stay home

you: sweater weather me, an intellectual: seasonal depression

once on halloween in high school i decided that i would give myself a treat and “forget” my gym uniform and therefore lose participation credit for the day because you cant participate without the uniform. and the teacher was like, “if you’re in costume you don’t lose credit today because halloween,” and was listing off students who were visibly in costume who would get basically free credit, and she said my name much to my surprise and i realized that. she had never seen me in my regular clothes more than once or twice a couple months previously. she thought i was in costume. she had no idea i was just super fuckin goth.