#zombification

[ID: Digital art if Zombie Cleo! She is on the ground, holding her torso up with her hands. She faces the ground and to the right, her messy orange hair falling down her face. Her right arm(the closer arm) is dislocated and twisted so her elbow is facing the opposite direction than it’s supposed to. They are covered in open wounds: there is blood seeping out of her skull and dripping onto their face and into their eyes, there is blood coming out of their mouth and dripping onto the floor, their skin is peeling, exposing muscle, on both forearms and on her right shoulder, and her intestines and chest organs are falling out from her belly. Her skin is a mix of tan and dark green, showing her zombification. Her eyes are yellow and wide open in fear and shock, blood from their skull wound seeping in. All of the blood and explosed organs are highlighted with white for emphasis, the drips of blood from Cleo’s mouth created ripples on the ground like she is in an ocean of blood. The background is bright red. There is a watermark reading “Magical Soup”. /end ID]

"have a seat," the doctor said in a polite, friendly tone, gesturing to the specific chair he wanted them to sit in, a pretty normal chair you'd see in any doctor's office. it was still a little hard to ignore the other seat in the room, which had restraints built into it.

shark sat down as they were directed to. they didn't want to be here, but there was nothing they could do about that now.

"i understand you've bitten someone recently?"

"it was a hickey. i haven't had any symptoms or anything. he told you i've been normal, too, right?"

"he didn't seem to think you're infected. but it's important that we're thorough about testing people."

"yeah, i get it. better safe than sorry."

"let me just check some of your information before we get started."

this wasn't their normal doctor, and they already forgot his name. he was supposed to be some kind of virus expert, or something like that. he seemed like a nice enough person, and aside from that other chair, his office was pretty normal and boring looking.

it wasn't like they couldn't understand the restraints being there, either. some people could get aggressive, even if every reliable source they saw said that was much rarer than most people thought. but a doctor who was seeing so many different potentially infected people would have every reason to take extra caution.

still, this guy wasn't restraining them. not yet, anyway. they had to wonder if he was just that sure they were fine, and these tests were just something he had to do anyway. or maybe there were some specific warning signs he knew to look out for, and he'd just strap them down if they exhibited any of those.

"alright," he finally said, grabbing a stethoscope, "i'll start by listening to your heart and lungs."

he pressed it against their chest. "just breathe normally."

it was impossible to breathe normally when they were thinking about it.

"your heartrate is a bit fast," he said. "are you nervous?"

"yeah, i always get like this."

"that's alright. it sounds fine, otherwise." he moved it to their back. "just take some deep breaths for me, now."

when they felt like this, it was hard to control their breathing. it felt like no matter what they did, they couldn't get enough air.

"you're alright," he said softly. "just relax. breathe nice and slowly. you're doing just fine."

he had a nice voice. they did find themself relaxing, just a little bit.

"that's right... very good." he moved the stethoscope. "nice, deep breaths. you've sounded perfect so far."

that was good to hear.

it was weird how much tension had left them already. they'd never been this calm in a doctor's office, even during routine check ups.

"there you go. perhaps i'll take another listen to your heart, now that it's slowed a bit."

"alright..." normally, they would've wanted this to be over already. but it wasn't so bad this time, at least.

"mm, it does seem that you always get a bit tense when someone is listening to your heart. but it's better than it was a moment ago." he continued listening. "i wonder if i could hear it slow down as i tell you to relax again?"

there was something almost intimate about the idea of that, or maybe the way he said it.

"just sit back," he said, speaking slowly to them. "you did such a good job a moment ago. i know you can relax again. you can drop your shoulders... and just let everything slow down..."

they could feel it. even if it was slowing down, it was still pounding in their chest. their body did relax, though.

"it did change." he smiled. "your body reacts very quickly to things like that, doesn't it?"

"is that just me? i mean, other people are like that too, right?"

"it varies from person to person. don't worry, though. it can be a good thing."

there was really something about doctors commenting on stuff like that, things you never would've realized were unique to you.

he put down the stethoscope, and they straightened up again.

"i'd like to take a look at your eyes next." he picked up a penlight. "i'll just be testing your pupillary light reflex. look straight ahead for me."

"alright."

even as they stared ahead, they could just feel how focused he was on their eyes. the light moved in front of their right eye.

"that's right... keep staring, just like that..."

he carefully moved the light back and forth, in and out of their vision, before switching to the other eye, and doing the same.

"you know," he muttered, still clearly very focused, "most of the time, i'll tell patients to look at something specific. i think that tends to feel a bit more natural than just looking ahead at nothing in particular."

the light moved back and forth. they spent more energy on sitting still for the test than thinking, even if they were still processing what he was saying.

"but i wondered if with you, i could be more direct. and sure enough, your eyes haven't moved at all. you're quite good at following instructions."

all they were doing was looking forward. it really didn't feel like anything special.

"your pupils are reacting exactly as they should be, as well. that's a good sign." they turned off the penlight, stepping back over to the counter to set it down, and putting on some gloves.

"now, even if everything else seems fine so far, i'll take a look at your mouth."

"is it possible for that to be like, the only symptom someone has?"

"we don't know yet. that's why i'll check."

"isn't it kind of dangerous to stick your fingers into people's mouths when they might bite? even with gloves, like, can't someone just bite through that?"

"there's a certain amount of risk involved in having any exposure to someone who's infected. but, even if you were to start biting down, perhaps i could just tell you to loosen your jaw and keep your mouth open." he laughed quietly. "do you think that would work?"

"i mean, if i was a zombie, like... or, i shouldn't call it that. but if i was infected, i don't know. you don't really think the same or have much control over yourself then, right?"

"and how much control do you normally have over your breathing, or how relaxed you are?"

"i don't know if that's the same thing."

"neither do i. but it's an interesting thought, isn't it? there certainly are times when it's easier to do as you're told or expected than it is to control yourself. there isn't much data to work with, yet, but it does seem that even people who are infected are much more likely to bite someone in a situation where it feels more natural or acceptable. and they bite themselves when isolated. but they don't tend to engage in that sort of behavior when around casual friends, or in public."

"that is kind of weird. i didn't know that. i mean the big public cases are the ones that make the news, so it makes it feel like it's happening all the time..."

"i've heard of many cases of children biting each other, or a lover getting carried away, similarly to your situation. but, i examined the bite you left. you were quite gentle." he looked at them with a kind of subtle amusement.

what, the hickey was that unimpressive to him?

"ah, but i should continue the examination." he stepped in front of them, leaning in close, with a light in one hand. "open up for me."

they opened their mouth as wide as they could, and he gently pushed his fingers along their teeth and gums.

"you have a very small mouth," he remarked. "but you do take good care of your teeth, don't you? you must be diligent about brushing and flossing."

his fingers moved to their tongue. it was hard not to feel a little flustered.

they gagged.

"did i go a bit too far? you have quite a strong gag reflex."

he was noticing and pointing out too many things. it was embarrassing.

"everything looks good, though. i don't see any signs of infection, or signs of any other problems, for that matter." he finally removed his fingers from their mouth.

"is that it, then?"

he moved back over to the counter, peeling off his gloves. "hmm. just in case, i should check your skin. that will require you to remove your clothes. is that alright?"

"whatever i need to do, i guess."

he turned on the sink, carefully washing his hands. "there is a privacy screen, if you'd like me to step away as you do that."

well, he was going to see the same amount of skin either way. "can i just do that while you're busy washing your hands and stuff?"

"if that's fine with you."

they stood up, taking off their shoes, then their socks, then their jeans, and their shirt, putting them in a pile. it was a little awkward, but they weren't that shy about their body, at least.

"do i take off my underwear, too?"

"that would be preferable."

they pulled off their boxers, leaving every part of them exposed. the doctor was still looking away, drying his hands, and putting on another pair of gloves.

standing there for a second, they realized they really didn't need to do this. he seemed pretty sure they were fine from the start. was this really about being thorough, or was he just coming up with excuses to do these tests anyway?

the thing was, he hadn't really been leering at them, or anything. and besides that, well... if they were being honest, he was cute. they kind of felt like, even if he did just want to see them naked, they didn't especially care.

"are you ready?" he asked, still facing away, putting on another pair of gloves.

"yeah."

he finally turned back toward them. "let's take a look, then."

he didn't touch them, only asking them to move or change position to give him a better look at certain places. he looked closely, but didn't seem to linger on any area in particular.

"perfectly normal," he said. "you can put your clothes back on. would you like some privacy?"

"you've already seen me naked. i don't really care if you see me get dressed." they pulled their underwear back on. now that they were doing it, it was a little weird, actually, doing this in front of him. but they already started. they put their shirt on next. "is this it?"

"the examination is over, but i can give you a vaccine."

"is it free?" they remained standing as they put on their pants, then socks, then shoes.

"yes."

"sure, i guess." they hadn't heard anything about a vaccine. "how did it get approved so quickly?"

"it didn't."

they stared for a second. "so, like... is it safe?"

"for someone like you, it should be. you seem perfectly healthy. and i would be monitoring you."

they really shouldn't have even been considering it, right? but somehow, the dubiousness of it was almost exciting. "so why are you going out of your way to do that?"

"i'd like to do whatever i can to stop the spread and protect people's health. and, in this case, i'm also curious."

"about what?"

"well, this would essentially involve infecting you. now, it shouldn't be as serious as it would be if you were infected by someone else, but you might experience many of the same symptoms, even if they're more mild. i'm curious whether i could manage some of those symptoms the way i had helped you relax earlier. perhaps i could take it a step further, and hypnotize you. your suggestibility might just win out against the changes in your mind, and the lowered inhibition."

he was talking about infecting them with a virus that would basically turn them into a zombie, and hypnotizing them in order to manage them?

"look, i don't know where you're getting this idea that i'm like, really suggestible or whatever. like, this is a doctor's appointment. of course i'm doing what you tell me to do."

he laughed. "you're just very... well-behaved. it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

they could feel the blood rushing to their face. "normally i'm a huge slacker."

"you clearly aren't when it comes to your dental health."

"well, yeah, that's important."

"then, if you agree to this, i'll simply say that listening to me and doing as i say after i infect you is important. much of the distress people experience does come from that sense of confusion and lack of control, after all. it would be much safer for both of us, and much less unpleasant, if you could just listen to me. and then, after that, you would be resistant to future infections. are you willing to do that?"

they hoped their face wasn't as red as it felt like it was. "well, alright. sure."

"i'm glad. then, if you'll have a seat in the other chair... if you're alright with being restrained. i don't think you'll need it, but..."

"yeah, i get it. just in case." they sat down, letting him adjust the restraints.

"that's not too tight, is it?"

"no, it's fine."

he went to grab a vial, syringe, needle, alcohol swabs, and a bandaid. "do you have a needle phobia?"

"nah. i jab myself every week, i'm used to it. it's even easier if someone else is doing it."

"that makes this simple, then."

he got everything ready, wiping their shoulder, putting the needle on the syringe, and drawing out the fluid.

"relax for me. you might feel a slight tingling sensation."

it struck them as kind of a joke. the tingling sensation he meant was the asmr from him telling them to relax.

it really was just a little poke, followed by a dull ache in their arm.

"very good." he pressed the alcohol swab against it for a moment, before putting on the bandaid. a gloved hand rested on their shoulder. "now, this can take effect rather quickly. how do you feel?"

all they could really feel was their reaction to being asked that in the context of someone infecting them and wanting to study their reactions.

"i mean, my arm kind of hurts, like it does with any injection, but i think that's it."

"then let's take a moment here, to help you relax and focus, before you start feeling more of the symptoms. would you be willing to be hypnotized?"

"yeah, i guess." they were never even that interested in hypnosis, but of course now that this doctor wanted to hypnotize them, it made them feel flustered.

"you guess? i need a bit more confidence from you."

"i'm fine with it," they said quickly. "you can hypnotize me."

"and you aren't just saying that because you think that's what i want to hear?"

he really was just confirming that they were fine with it, but the way he was doing that made them feel like he was making them beg for it. "look, i just want to relax and know everything's under control."

"of course. that makes sense. and i can help you with that. you'll be alright."

his voice changed. he spoke more slowly, more deliberately, in a low, full tone. it almost made them shudder. why did it feel so intense to listen to?

there was no way he didn't notice their reaction, but he didn't comment on it. "just listen to me. if you feel anything strange, then tell me, and describe it to me, as best you can. if there's something important that you think i need to know, then tell me. if you have any questions, then ask. otherwise, you don't need to speak. you only need to listen, and do as i say."

well, this felt strange, but they weren't sure if that's what he meant. "i, uh..."

"go ahead. if there's something to say, you can say it. it's alright."

"my spine is tingling," they said, even though they were burning with embarrassment. "and i feel kinda warm."

"some people feel that way when they're being hypnotized. the warmth could also be from the virus. it's a perfectly normal reaction, either way."

the embarrassment dissipated. it was almost instant. that felt weird, too.

"when you're prepared to be hypnotized, it can happen very quickly. it might feel tingly. it might make your body feel heavy, and your mind feel quiet, or numb. some people describe the virus making them feel something like that, too. it can become difficult to think. but that's why i'm here."

they did feel something in their head. it was kind of like a numbness.

"my head's, like..." how would they even describe it? the words weren't coming to them. "it's weird. is this the zombie thing? i don't like it."

"you're alright. i'm right here. even if it becomes difficult to think at times, your ability to think will come back to you later. this is just a temporary feeling. you're perfectly safe. it might even feel nice, if you don't fight it. if you simply allow it to happen. if you just relax. i'll keep everything under control."

they were anxious about it just a second ago, it was uncomfortable just a second ago, but listening to him, they melted just a little. maybe it wasn't so bad. they still wanted to think more, and it was still weird to have that feeling that they just couldn't do that.

at the same time, just giving into it...

"it feels kind of good," they said. "it feels a little too good. is that alright?"

"that's perfectly fine. there's nothing wrong with enjoying these sensations. it's much better than feeling distressed and scared by them. see? it doesn't have to be so bad, does it? and you're doing very well."

they were starting to feel feverish, a distinctly sick feeling, those specific kinds of aches. it wasn't especially painful, but they could recognize it as being the virus.

"i think i'm getting a fever. i'm feeling sick." their voice sounded different, too. they sounded calm, almost monotonous.

"that's normal. i can take your temperature in a bit, and give you medicine, if you need it. are you still feeling alright, otherwise?"

"i'm fine."

"very good."

it was weird. even that sick feeling wasn't especially distracting. the weakness, the helplessness, it didn't really matter. their ability to think was fading on and off, but that was fine, too. even if they didn't love the feeling, their doctor's cooing and reassurance made it nice. they were always listening, too, even when they didn't feel like they were processing all of the words.

"now," he said gently, "i'd like to check your mouth again. is that alright?"

"it's fine," they said, not really thinking about it.

"just open up for me again."

he stuck his fingers in their mouth, and then they felt it. it wasn't really even an urge to bite, specifically. but there was a kind of hunger.

it took them a second to realize they were licking his fingers. they were still aware enough to feel a wave of embarrassment, even though they kept doing it.

"very interesting," he said. "now, can you hold still for me? relax your mouth. just let everything go numb, and still."

they stopped licking. it was like their entire mouth was paralyzed.

"good, very good... that's right."

he examined their mouth in a similar way to before, although he seemed to take his time more. they still felt that hunger, but they didn't move.

after what felt like minutes of poking and prodding, he withdrew his fingers, and removed his gloves.

"it's just as i thought. you're still very well-behaved. you've been very good for me. it feels nice to listen, doesn't it?"

they twitched against the restraints.

"is something wrong?" he asked, although he still didn't seem too concerned about them.

"i want something," they said.

"what is it?"

they weren't really sure. they wanted out of the chair. they wanted to be closer to him. was it about biting, or something else? everything about the situation felt good. their body was reacting in other ways.

"i want you," they said, still vaguely aware of how weird, awkward, and stupid that must've sounded.

he only politely smiled in response. "i'm afraid you can't have that. i know it's difficult, but you'll have to relax and be good for me, alright?"

hearing that just made them feel more desperate.

they were drooling. their brain felt like it was melting. everything was warm. they felt sluggish, heavy, numb, dull. they were moving without realizing it, pulling lethargically against the restraints, bucking their hips.

"shh, just hold still. i'd like to do some more tests. you'd like that, wouldn't you? but you'll have to hold still for me. you'll have to behave. you can do that for me, can't you?"

they slowed down, and eventually froze.

"that's right. just like that. very good."

if the praise was the most they were going to get, then they'd take it. they'd do anything.

"you're the last patient i had scheduled for the day," he murmured, "so it's alright that you might be here for a while. you don't mind, either, do you?"

time didn't mean anything to them anymore. "it's fine," they mumbled. "keep doing tests..."