#adrianus

he attempted to gather his thoughts, feeling the heat in his face as he spoke. "there's a physical sensation... the tingling, and... usually warmth. and there's a feeling in my eyes, or a way i stare... i just feel myself staring, i guess." it was happening at that very moment. his breathing was changing. "i just... stare." he was repeating himself. he was trying not to, but the pressure from their gaze made him feel as though he should keep talking, even when he had nothing new to say.

"and what about the feeling inside of your head?" they asked, their voice almost imperceptibly softer - he wondered if they were trying to sound casual, and the hypnotic tone was just slipping through despite their best efforts, or if it was intentional. "how does it feel inside of your mind when you're hypnotized? how does it affect your thoughts?"

"it..." it was happening, he felt it, but it was difficult to describe. "i just... it's not really that i go blank, it just... i just... i don't know. it's... a little bit harder to think." he paused for much longer than he meant to. he wanted to give a better answer, but he was afraid if he opened his mouth again, he would only say the same thing, over and over. it was an odd feeling.

"i'd like to hear more details," they simply responded.

it flustered him. it was odd, because in situations where he was told he couldn't respond or think of anything, he often found himself able to do so. but in this moment, it was like there was nothing at all.

"go on," they said.

"i..." he almost forgot what he was even meant to be saying in the first place. "it feels... it's... sometimes it's just that my thoughts are... quieter, or easier to ignore, but... sometimes it's just... i just feel, i guess. there just aren't... my thoughts are just... my attention is just on something else, and i can't... there's nothing to think about, or i'm just thinking... i'm just thinking about that one thing."

"and what is that one thing you're usually thinking about?"

"it depends, but..." it was echoing through his mind. how much he liked being hypnotized. how good it felt to be hypnotized. all of those standard suggestions. "i'm just thinking about... how much i like it."

"can you elaborate on that? what is it that you like? what is it exactly that you're thinking? could you give examples of those exact thoughts?"

"it... it feels good to be hypnotized," he said. "i like being hypnotized... i want to be hypnotized... it feels good..." he was repeating himself again, and he was aware of how he must have sounded, how he must have looked. "i just think... things like that."

"keep going."

they just kept pushing him. he wasn't sure there was anything else left to say, or if there was, he wasn't sure he had the mental capacity to think of it, even though he had always felt that he was only limited by his own conscious desire to go along with the suggestions. but now, when he was trying to keep thinking, when he was trying to keep talking, it was like trudging through a thick sludge.

"i... i think about..." he was trailing off. as if there was really nothing else that he had ever thought about in his life, as if he couldn't list a single other thing. it was unbelievable. "i think about your voice," he said, relieved that he managed to grasp at something new. "i think about how nice it sounds... i think about how nice it is when you... when you talk slowly... and softly... and your voice just... sounds a specific way... and when you pause... between specific words... it just... it's nice to listen to... and when you tell me... when you tell me to just relax... and i just... my body just completely relaxes, on its own..."

"it sounds like it's quite automatic," they said, still speaking in a relatively normal voice.

"it is," he said. "it just... happens."

"can you talk a bit more about that?" they asked. "how does it feel when a suggestion happens automatically?"

"it feels good," he said, simply, stupidly. "i mean, it's... it just... it just happens. i don't know how else to... it doesn't really... it doesn't feel like anything, but... it feels good, but... it doesn't feel like anything."

"do you feel you can't resist it?"

"sometimes... sometimes i feel like i can, but..." he felt something creeping through him, a faint, distant realization. "sometimes i can't, i guess. i used to be better at it, but... sometimes i can't."

"sometimes you can't resist?"

"sometimes i can't resist," he found himself repeating blankly, almost shuddering at the admission of it.

"even if you try to? you still couldn't resist?"

"even if i try," he said quietly, almost whispering. "i just can't resist."

"are there any other feelings you experience when you're hypnotized? any other desires?"

"i want to go deep," he said. "i want to listen, i want to follow everything... i want to be coaxed into obeying... i want you to coo into my ear... and tell me that i'm doing good." his responses were becoming so bold and shameless. a part of him was still embarrassed, but the compulsion to answer them fully was stronger.

"how does that feel?"

"it feels good," he said, even though he wasn't even entirely sure what they were referring to.

"do you feel any sort of sleepiness or drowsiness when you're hypnotized? could you describe that?"

"i do, a lot of the time... i do feel this drowsiness..." he trailed off again. what was there to describe? "it's just... my energy goes away, and... it feels nice, i guess... it's a kind of... dreamy feeling. it's... fuzzy. it's tingly. it makes me relax... it makes my mind relax... and then it's... it's kind of hard to think... it's just... i still can think, but..."

"go on."

"i..." what had he even been talking about? "i just..."

"keep going," they said gently.

"i- i'm sorry, i just... i don't know what else to... say."

"is that so?" they asked, a dark undertone to their words. "you really can't think of anything else to describe?"

"i think i've said a lot already," he said, although doubt crept through his mind as he spoke. he wasn't sure he'd said much of substance at all.

"is it that difficult?" they asked, their voice dipping a bit more into a hypnotic tone. "surely you don't need me to tell you how to describe your own feelings?"

he had the overwhelming feeling that he did, though he didn't think he should just accept that. "i... i described them," he said quietly, a bit desperately.

"but you didn't even mention how you often experience arousal," they said, "or how it feels better each time. there were lots of things you completely neglected to say."

"i- that's true, that... those things are true, i just didn't... i didn't think to mention them..."

"then go on. be a bit more thorough. prove to me that you can tell me some of the details you haven't already mentioned before. what are some other things you feel when being hypnotized?"

"i feel... sometimes i... sometimes my head sinks or tilts a bit... um..." he stared, trying to follow the threads of his thoughts, finding that nothing was leading anywhere. "i can feel... kind of disconnected from my body... sometimes my limbs feel heavy..."

they were quiet. did they really expect more? there couldn't be anything else to describe. there couldn't be.

"is that all?" they asked.

he wasn't sure if he was more certain that that had to be it because he couldn't possibly think of anything else, or if he was more certain that there must be more because they expected more. what had he already said? he mentioned the tingling, their voice, the staring, the focus... what else was there?

"that's all," he finally said.

"so you do need me to tell you," they murmured, leaning closer. "it was just so difficult to think, wasn't it?"

"i- i said a lot," he said breathlessly. "i explained a lot of it. i can think."

"but you didn't even mention that feeling of helplessness that you're experiencing right now? the feeling of powerlessness? the feeling of being controlled?"

he blinked. how did he fail to mention any of that?

"i just... i don't know."

"that's alright. it's alright that you don't know."

it hit harder when he really had been trying.

"you just had trouble thinking... because you were falling into trance just imagining it... just remembering how it felt... and it made it so difficult to talk and think, no matter how much i urged you to continue... didn't it? even though you're usually very articulate... and you wanted to give me a good answer. but you just couldn't. could you?"

he couldn't argue with it. he almost felt dizzy.

"can you tell me how you feel right now?" they said softly. "could you tell me?"

"i... i feel... it feels good."

"you can't tell me anything else?"

"i'm... overwhelmed... it's..."

"shh," they whispered. "you've already put in so much energy and effort answering me today. you can just let me tell you. i know the answer. it will be much easier to just listen."

"have you ever had your ears cleaned by a slime?"

the question immediately forced victor to imagine the sensation.

"no, i have not," he replied.

"some people enjoy it. it's different from having your ears cleaned any other way. human ear canals are very sensitive, after all."

it only made it sound more obscene. "well, people can be into all sorts of things, i suppose..."

they placed their hands on the outside of his ears. "aren't you curious?" they asked. "it feels very good."

"right now? you-" he shuddered. "do you intend to do both ears at the same time?"

"it sounds overwhelming, doesn't it?"

"it sounds... violating."

"oh, it's just ear cleaning..." their fingers creeped closer to the entrance to his ear. "i won't go too deep," they murmured.

"i-i haven't agreed to this."

"you're trembling."

"yes, i know. this is just..."

"it's exciting, isn't it?"

truthfully, he wasn't entirely sure what he was feeling.

"it feels good," they said. "it feels very good. you'll understand. i'll just give you a taste of it..."

their fingers pushed into his ears, ever so slightly, melting into a shape that could perfectly fit, gently rubbing the inside. he could feel that gooey texture, he could hear it. it felt like something that absolutely shouldn't be there, an intrusion.

it made him shudder even more uncontrollably. it made his spine tingle. his body squirmed, but his head was held in place by their hands.

"you see?" they murmured, their voice somewhat muffled to him now. "it isn't so bad, is it?"

his breathing was shaky and uneven. "i-it's-" there weren't words for it. "i-i know what it feels like now, so- you can... take it out..."

the slime pushed slightly deeper. he nearly yelped.

"shh," they purred. "there's no need to be shy."

"i don't particularly need my ears cleaned," he muttered. still, he had a feeling it was too late to protest.

it filled more of his ears. it certainly did feel sensitive. he had never felt anything like it before.

"just relax..." their words were now being carried through the tendrils in his ears, so he could hear them clearly, impossibly deep inside his head. this might have felt more invasive than the tendrils themselves, somehow. "it feels good... it will only feel better... you just need to relax for me."

he was so distracted by the feeling in his ears, and their voice, that he almost didn't realize that even his body was being slightly enveloped by theirs, just enough that it was difficult to move. he was making some sort of noise in response, but he couldn't tell how that would have sounded to them, or how loud he was being.

it was pointless to struggle. he twitched and squirmed almost involuntarily, but it only served to get him more thoroughly stuck. he felt like an insect.

"it's alright," they murmured.

he didn't understand how they were continuing to push deeper - how big could his ears have possibly been? it was as if they were...

as if they were trying to reach all the way inside of his head, to his brain.

the thought made him freeze.

he wanted to say something, to ask them about it, though it wouldn't have made a difference, and it was difficult to talk when he could hardly hear himself.

they were still cooing at him. perhaps it was because their words were so deep inside of him, but he did seem to be relaxing a bit. more than he should have in such a situation, anyway.

"that's right... just let go..."

as he relaxed, he felt himself sink into their body just a bit more. it was sort of comfortable...

maybe they weren't really going to...

"you can relax and empty your mind, as well..." they murmured, the sound buzzing through his head.

they touched it. he wasn't sure why he could feel it, but he knew, somehow. in an instant, his body felt heavy and numb - not so much that he couldn't feel anything, but it seemed to dull everything, except for the inside of his ears, the inside of his head, his brain...

"you make such nice sounds..."

he had almost certainly been moaning and whimpering. he couldn't control it. he was barely aware of it. it was difficult to focus or think at all. were they erasing his thoughts? changing them? making it so he couldn't think? he knew he couldn't move his limbs. he couldn't even make an effort to. there was a complete disconnect between his mind and body. it was as if his entire being was now just inside of his head, the rest of his body being nothing more than an object that it rested inside.

and this place where his entire being was resting was being invaded, probed, manipulated, filled and coated with slime, sticking and melting all over it.

but it felt good. it felt unbelievably good. was he drooling? he wondered if he might be, but he couldn't tell. his thoughts felt slow, as if they were stuck.

his apprehension was melting away, though it was happening unevenly enough that he could sense it. a part of him was aware of it. a part of him felt very helpless, and only became more distressed as that feeling started to fade away.

but waves of pleasure and relaxation were washing over his mind, rendering him unable to even think about fighting it.

"you understand now, don't you?" their voice massaged his brain. "this feels so much better, doesn't it?"

every part of him said yes. he might have even answered them out loud. still, by the time he feebly attempted to question it, he had already forgotten what he was questioning. he only knew that he felt very good.

"each time i do this, it will only get easier," they said softly, their voice so gentle and quiet, even as it was deep inside of his head. like a thought. "your mind will allow me inside. it will be eager to feel this pleasure."

he knew it to be true.

"when you feel me near your ears," they said, "you'll simply hold still. you won't struggle."

it was caressing his brain. rubbing it.

"you'll always let me in, won't you?"

it was pushing something into his mind.

"very good... very, very good."

a jolt of pleasure ran through him, even through his dull, numb body, which he had almost forgotten about. it blocked out all thought, all ability to think, for what might have been a few seconds, or a few minutes.