Soupy lil' Adventures

how was your day?? no bad evil?

bark bark :3

my day was good! slept well and played minecraft! I went mining and found a very long cave system which gave me many diamonds and led me to an ancient city! i raided the city and got a bunch of cool stuff :3

now im gonna try to mow even tho its 8pm… its summer, the sun is barely setting rn so its okay

ough good luck!!

I did it! there was thunder but i finished and got inside before it got too close.

oh awesome! what r u gonna paint on it?

anyway here is ohoto of doggy :3

um honestly idk? I can’t decide if I wanna do like an animal or a scene. it has to be mostly blue though because my phone is blue and I have a clear case.

puppy for puppy?

yeah u should :3 regression fun and now u have stuffies!!! give them many snuggle and cuddles!

how was your day?? no bad evil?

bark bark :3

my day was good! slept well and played minecraft! I went mining and found a very long cave system which gave me many diamonds and led me to an ancient city! i raided the city and got a bunch of cool stuff :3

now im gonna try to mow even tho its 8pm… its summer, the sun is barely setting rn so its okay

ough good luck!!

I did it! there was thunder but i finished and got inside before it got too close.

oh awesome! what r u gonna paint on it?

anyway here is ohoto of doggy :3

but in my experience 95% of my hallucinations are getting spooked by very clearly hearing someone knocking on my door or calling my name from another room or hearing footsteps walking behind me which are "just" my brain recreating the horror of an abusive childhood

(not trying to put you on blast specifically, you're just a good example to jump off of)

media and pop culture hypes up psychosis a lot as The Worst That Can Happen out of sanism, so even when you try and filter that cultural bias out you still assume it's based on something

when, no, psychosis is actually very simple: it's just hyperactive pattern matching. it's your brain's signal-to-noise ratio being off balance, it's seeing images in random static. it's not always this special uniquely big thing, it's in fact quite mundane a lot of the time.

no one is immune to psychosis, it's not purely the realm of the insane. anyone is one bad night of sleep or one bad case of food poisoning or one bad fever away from being just like me on my worst days.

Various little’s reactions to being put in the play pen

Gem - she thinks it’s laughable that her caregiver thinks they can contain her, she is out and reigning chaos within seconds, possibly enacting some form of silly punishment on her caregiver for attempting to imprison her.

Grian - not too upset as he likely has toys and stuff to play with in there but as soon as he is bored he will start planning an escape.

Pearl - very content to play quietly on her own in the play pen, comforted by the fact she has a clear designated area for where she is allowed to be. She must be able to see her caregiver though, if they leave she will grab onto the edge of the pen and whine until they come back (with insanely powerful puppy dog eyes)

False - Similar to Pearl she is happy to have a somewhat organised space to herself but then will get almost territorial about it once settled. Caregivers will have to ask to come in otherwise she gets upset/irritated and she only allows a select few littles to join her.

Ren - simply too much wild energy for a pen, he is a young excited puppy and he must run about. The one time his caregivers tried putting him in a pen he just knocked it over completely. He will however, do his best the calm down if False asks him to join her in her pen as he knows how important it is to her.

Scar - will happily play in a pen since he is less physically active when little. He does, however, tend to regress with Grian and will join him in scheming different escape plans just for the shenanigans.

That’s all I’ve got so far, I’d love for other people to give their two cents on this :p

- @hyperfixationhorde

Gem once caused chaos while little with little Pearl and Pearl got really overwhelmed. So Gem little Gem makes sure to play easier with Pearl while they are in the playpen together. They love to play together, and even cause chaos together, but Pearl is scared of breaking the rules cuz she really wants to be liked by everyone including her CGs, so if Gem breaks the rules Pearl gets really nervous that the CGs won’t like her anymore and won’t tolerate her and time out is so scary cuz being bad even a little bit is so guilt inducing and scary and she spirals.

Grian and Pearl are really good playing together in the playpen cuz Pearl can keep Grian from being bored for a while. unfortunately he would go “sword slash to the chest and your on fire” and Pearl would say hes not playing correctly

I bet when Cleo is caregiving little Pearl, they try to encourage her to break the rules a little bit and show that the world won’t fall apart if she does. Like “you can stay up a little late. I won’t be mad, nobody will be mad. I’ll just read you another bedtime story and tuck you in again. I’ll do it a million times over!” and Pearl will be so nervous. Lots of tears. but the other option is letting Pearl hate herself being kept awake by her anxious thoughts and feeling super guilty for it, or refusing to get her CG if she wakes from a nightmare and it’s not morning yet. She has to learn that she is allowed to be a bother sometimes, noone will hate her for it.

Pearl and Scar play really well together because they are both kinda sleepy littles and like the closed space. they are also both really creative and just yes and- eachother until their toys have the most complex backstory ever.

Pearl likes playing by herself sometimes. parallel play with other littles or her CG in the room tho. lines up the toys in different orders, like color or size or alphabetical. autism. i don’t make the rules(i do) the rules make themselves(i make them)

Pearl is only truly wild when Ren is there. Then they are true chaos. Dogs got out. playfully chomping on people. eating grass. Joe and Cleo love watching and encouraging their tomfoolery. Worst/Best caregivers ever

This is fine when it's a nice sunny day out and she can run around outside her base and play, but not so much when it's the middle of the night and she wants to go sleep in the woods, or when it's raining out and she doesn't want to put a coat on.

There's only one type of weather that she won't ask to go out in when regressed, which is weird because all the other littles love to play in it. But the reminders it brings means she has to keep the present in sharp focus and not allow herself to slip into a more vulnerable state if she wants to prevent her mental health backsliding. And that's the snow. :)

She never had to make decisions during the thralling. She never had to be responsible and smart. She just had to get through the trauma. That was the only thing she could do.

------

Cleo wakes up paralyzed. Not literally, not this time at least. There's just this feeling keeping them still. A weight pressing on their chest like hands holding them down into the bed. It's hard to even breath around it. Their lungs fill half way and spasm, failing to get any more of what they need and having to cope with the little air their stunted attempts can manage. It's not panic, Cleo knows what panic is. It's harder to tell now that they're dead, there's not beating pulse or sweat running down their forehead. But no, it's something more like dread.

It's dark out, they can't hear Pearl anywhere nearby so she must have started her day, or rather night, already. They're envious of that, of Pearl's ability to just get up and go. Like she knows exactly what to do to fill her time. She keeps herself busy, constantly, to the point where Cleo has to push her to take breaks often.

And Cleo isn't a sedentary person, certainly not. They're pulling their weight in repairing Oakhurst and the castle, tasking themself with repairing curtains that have been moth eaten and burnt, making new furniture to replace the piles of ash and rubble, tending to the newly planted saplings that in a couple of decades will replace the decimated forest around the town. There's a seemingly endless list of tasks to be done and redone and to pour their energy into constantly.

That's actually part of the problem. There's so much to do, an endless stream of decisions to make. They could do anything with their day. They want to do all of it. They want to do none of it. Tasks float in front of their eyes, a scroll opening and going going going out the door and none of it sticks out as any more important than anything else. It's all just a blur of stuff.

Okay, Cleo thinks, step one, get up.

So she takes a deep breath and she does. It doesn't happen in one movement. It needs to be broken up into every small twitch of her muscles. She sits up. She turns to face the wall. She moves the blanket off of her. She swings her left leg onto the ground. Then the right. She stares at the wall for a long while. Then she pushes herself up. She hears the floorboards creak under her feet. The whole thing takes 20 seconds. Like pitch in a glass, time flows so slow it may as well not be flowing at all.

She realizes she needs to get dressed and sighs. Another choice to make.

----