I am currently writing a large Hermitcraft fanfic titled āCrushed and Aching, I Keep Goingā or CAAIKG. This fic will be posted over time both here and on AO3 by soup_wizard.
Here is a link to the AO3 fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59858947/chapters/152699971
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This is my main account where I will talk about my interests, hobbies, daily life, or other related topics.
I am an artist and writer, so I may post my thoughts and pieces on here. Any visual art will likely include a signature of āMagical Soupā.
I am disabled - diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, & OCD.
These are all serious issues that cause daily symptoms, I may mention or discuss those on this account.
Tags:
#evil hour = chatting; tag I use when I actually write something instead of just reblog
#I love my moots = mutual interactions
#asks = asks I recieve and respond to
#asks kinda = asks I sent that were answered by someone else
#my art = my art, simple as that
#CAAIKG or #C&AIKG = anything related to my longfic Crushed and Aching, I Keep Going
#I only reblog canon facts = reblogged posts that I Really vibe with related to my fandoms
#silly hour = like evil hour but silly, I am being silly
#meow = when I meow at my moots or my moots meow at me :3
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Little False doesnāt know peace. False doesnāt know peace regardless, inside and outside of regression, but being so small and so sensative amps everything up to 1000.
Sheās angry. Sheās devastated. Sheās crying for her life. Sheās punching and hitting and biting.
Sheās so damn tired, but she canāt sleep. Her mind is a mess and she doesnāt want to wake up tomorrow and repeat the same horror over and over. Sheād rather delay the inevitable; itās the one thing she can do, the tiniest bit of control that she has in this wreckage.
Nothing is safe. Nothing will ever be safe. Life is hell and she canāt run away.
Trapped bunny in a cage, all it can do is cry and scream, scratching at the walls.
Pearl has many allergies and things she canāt digest cuz Moth. She does have many snacks and food that she knows she can safely eat, but sometimes she likes to try new foods or eat what others make. And sometimesā¦ there are contaminants.
Soā¦
little Pearl: *whimpers* ātummy acheā :(
Gem: š! āOh no! Your tummy hurts?ā *gets ready to kill whoever made the food*
I am the wrong person to go to. I am gonna make it so much worse mwahahahahahaaaaaaa >:D
Cleo as an allegory for autism due to her isolation in childhood. She was surrounded by vampires, many of which wanting to avoid her at all costs due to her smelling like food and if they feed off her their mother will stake them. She is different from everyone around her and she is just a human kid. There is nobody that she can truly relate to. She is differentāand they donāt quiet understand why. Everyone avoids her and they donāt know why everyone seems to hate them. Is it on their face? Is it something visible? A marker that tells them apart from the rest, so everyone knows that she is something to be avoided? Somethingā¦ weird?
Permaregressor Cleo who is stuck at 13, when all of the worst happened. Their only parent, the only person who ever loved them and the only person Cleo ever lovedā¦ dying slowly in front of their very eyes. The screams. The wails. The smell of burning flesh. And the taste of blood on their tongue. When their body became no longer their own.
Everyday, a taste of blood to keep the thrall going. Do you think, when Cleo fed off Pearl, that it brought more than just Pearlās memories? Was the tasteā¦ familiar? The stickiness and texture on their teeth, unforgettable.
Cleo canāt handle touch. Every time, it reminds them of how their body isnāt theirs. Itās forced to feel sensations but never have the choice to control them. Forced to watch. Forced to move. Forced to stay still, even asā¦ even asā¦ Theyā¦ and she is forced to watch and feel all of it.
Do you ever think about how angry Cleo gets? They are soā¦ so angry. āFuriousā is the worst understatement, itās insulting. They scream so loud that their throat goes sore and hoarse, yet they keep screaming. They claw at the ground, trying to dig up that little kid and save them from all the horrors that killed them, and yet all they find is bloodied dirt. Pain helps ease the stress, but Pearl grabs their hand the moment she notices them aiming for themself. Not today, but maybe tomorrow, in the privacy of the locked bathroom, Cleo can get some peace.
The fear lingers. They havenāt felt safe in decades, and they wonāt feel safe for centuries. Pearl can try, but it will still take time. Sometimes, she will find Cleo frozen, a thousand yard stare. Other times, she finds drops of blood stained on the floor. Sometimes Cleo doesnāt sleep, sometimes they donāt get up for days. Pearl undertands that itās harder for Cleoā¦ much harder.
When Cleo regresses, becomes that helpless little kitten, Pearl canāt help but notice how when they are smallest they donāt stop crying. Most of the time, Cleo is as quiet at the night, nervous and hiding. But when Cleo breaks, she breaks. The dam shatters and it doesnāt stop. There is so so so much built up, there isnāt enough time on Earth to let it fully drain. But they can try, at least, to reduce the pressure.
huh? i wonder who just got attacked? weird huh? š
hahaā¦
oh no :( thats not good! I hope Pearl has a better time next time she fronts :(
oh no! sick? please get good rest to heal quickly!!!
ooo new headmate š maybe? ooooo!
just been thinking about V!Cleoā¦ so much. I chatted with another moot about them for a while last night and omg O.O the horrors! the sjhdhdhdhfhhf they kill me everything ajdbfbhfhf then akdjdbjfbf and. fjfjvknc and jfhfjjdjd jdjfjcbdjhxaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :((((((( /vpos trust okay is good!
anywaysā¦ kitty Cleo would scratch up the furniture methinks and also chronic pain kitty need big warm pupoy to help with the pain
mhm :( also just so you know our pearl does like she/her but it does have other pronouns on his pronouns.cc weād like you to use and not just use she/her please :)
yeah I might be. it might be an ear infection š I cut up the cans but I think thatās all Iām gonna do tonight I donāt wanna over work myself
yeah!! honestly with how weird our fronting is rn I could. probably get them to front if you wanna meet them?
ooooohhhh yessss. Cleo just curled up so tight and pearl laying against them, trying to curl around them to envelop them in puppy warmthā¦ #mythem
okay! iāll make sure the vary what pronouns i use for it :3 thank you!
yeah rest up! tomorrow can wait, rest now!
ooo :O I would be interested! but donāt push yourself if you canāt make them front, i dont mind having to wait until later to meet them
ooo yes!!! like a bit fluffy shield :3 so warm and so soft and sosososos cozy !!! and Pearl give Cleo sooo many kisses x3 and the tail wagging would be off the charts!!!
just thinking about how Cleo growing up in the Vampire cult is an allegory for like autism yknow? cuz she is the only human, everyone looks and acts different from her, there are rarely any children so she acts different from others, and she doesnāt really understand why she is so different from everyone :( and the isolation because the vampires donāt want to accidentally feed off her cuz she is the only human they are not supposed to eat or else their mother would stake them, so nobody would come near them. justā¦ so much isolation. and then just not being allowed to express herself, or learn, or have any autonomy for 81 yearsā¦ damn.
I am haunted by their lore. just thinking about all the various coping mechanism and defense mechanisms and all the sort of stuff Cleoās brain did while under all that stress and horror and trauma for sosososos longā¦ methinks they would struggle horribly with dissociation for decades, and maladaptive daydreaming, cuz her imagination was all they had for so long. the only escape. they had to cope somehow.
Methinks Cleo would struggle to know how much humans are supposed to eat or drink because they were starved for so long. same with sleeping. how much is a human supposed to sleep? sheās been sleep deprived for 81 years, her idea of the proper amount of sleep is totally warped. also just needs in generalā¦ very much used to getting the bare minimum.
yeah hi itās new one. sorry took a while to respond we were trying to switch me into front
the others read your Cleo part and they said they agreed but I forgot what else they said sorry
Iām a tad. confused? slightly nervous. this kinda weird yk??
anything you wanna talk about? I just got here so I donāt know a ton of fandom stuff unfortunately and I donāt wanna try and go search through the memories sorry :(
hello :D yeah I can undertand that itās pretty confusing rn :<
how about some basic questions!
have you figured out pronouns yet? What do you think of plushies š? Since I know itās pretty late rn, so are you cozy in bed? Have you seen any cute pets around your house that might be in need of some scritches and kisses? Have you dranken any water during your time fronting? Are you in pajamas? and if so, are they cozy pajamas? Do you have any idea of what you look like in headspace?
:3 itās okay to be nervous btw, i understand that this is a little awkward! I hope the others are treating you well :D
um not really. I think I like they/them but not just they/them? but i donāt know the others. I havenāt really figured out my gender or name or anything. I quite like them!! fluffy ones especially. but if the fur is too smooth and synthetic i donāt like it yk? like thereās good fake fur and thereās nasty smooth fake fur. Iām laying in bed yeah but I have to keep moving cause my nose is stuffy but also runny so I keep having to sit up. um we have a dog here and I gave him a kiss on the snout. I had a little water to take our meds. yeah Iām in pjs, fuzzy beaver wearing baseball cap pants and a big chicken sriracha t shirt? um not really. Iām vaguely attached to the color white I think? rn Iām kinda a blob wearing a white fluffy sweater.
mhm itās definitely. weird. itās hard to understand the fact that I technically just came into existence yet I have years of memories and experience. Iāve only vaguely met the others when we were all clumped together.
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huh? i wonder who just got attacked? weird huh? š
hahaā¦
oh no :( thats not good! I hope Pearl has a better time next time she fronts :(
oh no! sick? please get good rest to heal quickly!!!
ooo new headmate š maybe? ooooo!
just been thinking about V!Cleoā¦ so much. I chatted with another moot about them for a while last night and omg O.O the horrors! the sjhdhdhdhfhhf they kill me everything ajdbfbhfhf then akdjdbjfbf and. fjfjvknc and jfhfjjdjd jdjfjcbdjhxaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :((((((( /vpos trust okay is good!
anywaysā¦ kitty Cleo would scratch up the furniture methinks and also chronic pain kitty need big warm pupoy to help with the pain
mhm :( also just so you know our pearl does like she/her but it does have other pronouns on his pronouns.cc weād like you to use and not just use she/her please :)
yeah I might be. it might be an ear infection š I cut up the cans but I think thatās all Iām gonna do tonight I donāt wanna over work myself
yeah!! honestly with how weird our fronting is rn I could. probably get them to front if you wanna meet them?
ooooohhhh yessss. Cleo just curled up so tight and pearl laying against them, trying to curl around them to envelop them in puppy warmthā¦ #mythem
okay! iāll make sure the vary what pronouns i use for it :3 thank you!
yeah rest up! tomorrow can wait, rest now!
ooo :O I would be interested! but donāt push yourself if you canāt make them front, i dont mind having to wait until later to meet them
ooo yes!!! like a bit fluffy shield :3 so warm and so soft and sosososos cozy !!! and Pearl give Cleo sooo many kisses x3 and the tail wagging would be off the charts!!!
just thinking about how Cleo growing up in the Vampire cult is an allegory for like autism yknow? cuz she is the only human, everyone looks and acts different from her, there are rarely any children so she acts different from others, and she doesnāt really understand why she is so different from everyone :( and the isolation because the vampires donāt want to accidentally feed off her cuz she is the only human they are not supposed to eat or else their mother would stake them, so nobody would come near them. justā¦ so much isolation. and then just not being allowed to express herself, or learn, or have any autonomy for 81 yearsā¦ damn.
I am haunted by their lore. just thinking about all the various coping mechanism and defense mechanisms and all the sort of stuff Cleoās brain did while under all that stress and horror and trauma for sosososos longā¦ methinks they would struggle horribly with dissociation for decades, and maladaptive daydreaming, cuz her imagination was all they had for so long. the only escape. they had to cope somehow.
Methinks Cleo would struggle to know how much humans are supposed to eat or drink because they were starved for so long. same with sleeping. how much is a human supposed to sleep? sheās been sleep deprived for 81 years, her idea of the proper amount of sleep is totally warped. also just needs in generalā¦ very much used to getting the bare minimum.
yeah hi itās new one. sorry took a while to respond we were trying to switch me into front
the others read your Cleo part and they said they agreed but I forgot what else they said sorry
Iām a tad. confused? slightly nervous. this kinda weird yk??
anything you wanna talk about? I just got here so I donāt know a ton of fandom stuff unfortunately and I donāt wanna try and go search through the memories sorry :(
hello :D yeah I can undertand that itās pretty confusing rn :<
how about some basic questions!
have you figured out pronouns yet? What do you think of plushies š? Since I know itās pretty late rn, so are you cozy in bed? Have you seen any cute pets around your house that might be in need of some scritches and kisses? Have you dranken any water during your time fronting? Are you in pajamas? and if so, are they cozy pajamas? Do you have any idea of what you look like in headspace?
:3 itās okay to be nervous btw, i understand that this is a little awkward! I hope the others are treating you well :D
huh? i wonder who just got attacked? weird huh? š
hahaā¦
oh no :( thats not good! I hope Pearl has a better time next time she fronts :(
oh no! sick? please get good rest to heal quickly!!!
ooo new headmate š maybe? ooooo!
just been thinking about V!Cleoā¦ so much. I chatted with another moot about them for a while last night and omg O.O the horrors! the sjhdhdhdhfhhf they kill me everything ajdbfbhfhf then akdjdbjfbf and. fjfjvknc and jfhfjjdjd jdjfjcbdjhxaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :((((((( /vpos trust okay is good!
anywaysā¦ kitty Cleo would scratch up the furniture methinks and also chronic pain kitty need big warm pupoy to help with the pain
mhm :( also just so you know our pearl does like she/her but it does have other pronouns on his pronouns.cc weād like you to use and not just use she/her please :)
yeah I might be. it might be an ear infection š I cut up the cans but I think thatās all Iām gonna do tonight I donāt wanna over work myself
yeah!! honestly with how weird our fronting is rn I could. probably get them to front if you wanna meet them?
ooooohhhh yessss. Cleo just curled up so tight and pearl laying against them, trying to curl around them to envelop them in puppy warmthā¦ #mythem
okay! iāll make sure the vary what pronouns i use for it :3 thank you!
yeah rest up! tomorrow can wait, rest now!
ooo :O I would be interested! but donāt push yourself if you canāt make them front, i dont mind having to wait until later to meet them
ooo yes!!! like a bit fluffy shield :3 so warm and so soft and sosososos cozy !!! and Pearl give Cleo sooo many kisses x3 and the tail wagging would be off the charts!!!
just thinking about how Cleo growing up in the Vampire cult is an allegory for like autism yknow? cuz she is the only human, everyone looks and acts different from her, there are rarely any children so she acts different from others, and she doesnāt really understand why she is so different from everyone :( and the isolation because the vampires donāt want to accidentally feed off her cuz she is the only human they are not supposed to eat or else their mother would stake them, so nobody would come near them. justā¦ so much isolation. and then just not being allowed to express herself, or learn, or have any autonomy for 81 yearsā¦ damn.
I am haunted by their lore. just thinking about all the various coping mechanism and defense mechanisms and all the sort of stuff Cleoās brain did while under all that stress and horror and trauma for sosososos longā¦ methinks they would struggle horribly with dissociation for decades, and maladaptive daydreaming, cuz her imagination was all they had for so long. the only escape. they had to cope somehow.
Methinks Cleo would struggle to know how much humans are supposed to eat or drink because they were starved for so long. same with sleeping. how much is a human supposed to sleep? sheās been sleep deprived for 81 years, her idea of the proper amount of sleep is totally warped. also just needs in generalā¦ very much used to getting the bare minimum.
huh? i wonder who just got attacked? weird huh? š
hahaā¦
oh no :( thats not good! I hope Pearl has a better time next time she fronts :(
oh no! sick? please get good rest to heal quickly!!!
ooo new headmate š maybe? ooooo!
just been thinking about V!Cleoā¦ so much. I chatted with another moot about them for a while last night and omg O.O the horrors! the sjhdhdhdhfhhf they kill me everything ajdbfbhfhf then akdjdbjfbf and. fjfjvknc and jfhfjjdjd jdjfjcbdjhxaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :((((((( /vpos trust okay is good!
anywaysā¦ kitty Cleo would scratch up the furniture methinks and also chronic pain kitty need big warm pupoy to help with the pain
[ID: a digital drawing of a dog stuffed animal named Charlie Pup! Charlie is black and white and has various patches on his body, such as a green star-shaped patch on his right shoulder, a red heart-shaped patch on his chest where his heart would be, and a purple circular patch on his left ear. There is stuffing coming out of the seams connecting his arms to his torso. He had a yellow nose and yellow eyes and has an uncomfortable expression on his face as he looks at the other stuffed animals around him. Charlie is sitting at a white circular wooden table, an empty white plate in front of him, and a pink cat and brown bear plushie sat at either side of him, devoid of expression as they appear to be inanimate unlike Charlie. The background is a orange-yellow gradient. There is a watermakr reading āMagical Soupā and text reading āFor Sunny Whiiskersā both hightlighted in white to be readable against the background. /end ID]
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