In this edition of Things I have realised...
The UK has no cool superheroes. We are either villains or side characters, so I decided to throw some ideas around.
General Glasgow  Superpower : Cat swinging
Lieutenant London  Superpower : Being a cunt.
Norwich Knight  Superpower : Has probably fucked your sister and his own.
The Scarlet Scouser  Superpower : Eyebrows that budgeon you to deathÂ
Mancunian Menace  Superpower : The ability to produce a kebab out of thin air and proceed to ram it down your neck if you disagree with him about football.
Geordie Giant  Superpower : Can withstand temperatures of below freezing whilst wearing skinnys and a vest.
Belfast Bastard  Superpower : Get’s so drunk he goes back in time.
Captain Cardiff  Superpower : Voice that can deafen you and has a pet sheep.
Brigadier Brummie  Superpower : Can talk you to death.
Captain Chelsea  Superpower : Being a rich cunt.
Summary ...We have no good superheroes.
