#xav

Realizing you're queer be like

(ooh and there's a demigirl flag on Scarella's stocking, I totally headcanon that for her lulz! She's like chewing on her sleeve here btw)

Dreamt about hybrid!reader (R) living with all of the lads boys and getting her first heat after years of repressing it and all five of them helping her through it....

But anyways, it got me thinking more in detail about his identities. Throughout his times on Earth, Xavier has had to make so many personalities for himself and create so many versions of himself just to make himself seem like a normal person. Btw this is so hard for me to put into words so bear with me here 😭.

But it's a well known fact among most Xavier girlies that he himself has probably had a few identity crises, and I just want to build up on this idea. Xavier himself doesn't view his other versions as him. He sees them as completely different.

Xavier: Whilst Lumiere is kind and gentle, I'm apparently harsh and cruel?

He doesn't see his other version as him, they're other people who he associates with, but nothing further. They're different personalities of him.

Xavier: And when you see Lumiere, you appear to be a lot happier than when you see me.

This just proves that even if the fandom sees Lumiere and Xavier as the same person (thus the jealous Xavier joke) he doesn't think Lumiere is him. Lumiere is a completely different person than Xavier, and that is why Xavier finds it so easy to get jealous over Lumiere.

But my main point isn't that–It's the fact that the Xavier we see might not even be the real Xavier (or in other words, is a personality made to protect his real self/a mesh of his dozens of other selves). Going back to Xavier's comment about Lumiere, it proves that Xavier can have different personalities, supported by the fact MC mentioned him to be a good actor. (Can't remember the exact line). He's familiar with this, my earlier words about us not seeing his real self was a joke btw. We see his real personality because you can compare him with Lightseeker (Pre time travel) and see that they are the same. But it just got me thinking about what-ifs. Xavier can create himself many personalities, the reason he's good at acting is because he becomes his other selves. So in other words, he becomes them, but they aren't him. Xavier can become one of his other personalities, but he will never see himself as them. And if we weren't MC, then we probably would have had to face one of his various other selves rather than the actual self he hides behind dozens of other personalities. And it shows, after a whole year, Xavier is finally showing us his true personality, and we're getting to see more actual sides of him than any mysterious fakes. And Xavier likes that this is happening. Whilst MC also has her reincarnations and versions, Xavier has his own personalities and identities. Supported by Xavier's line in the 21 days memory.

Xavier: Every version of me belongs to you, and every version of you, belongs to me.

So yeah in a sense MC and Xavier are kindred spirits. And whilst Xavier may not reincarnate or resurrect, he does live through lives and personalities. It makes him both difficult and easy to characterise.

World Underneath (Light into Dust) ⚜️🐇