#wrong people

One of the biggest problems people have with Christianity?

When it becomes an aesthetic.

When the people who are supposedly real Christians (whatever that means) are more concerned with looking like they live their Faith (what they wear, what they do, where they live, how they vote) than actually living their Faith.

It’s not just that their aesthetic, their image of what a Christian should be that keeps them from doing things that Jesus directly tells us to do.

You won’t bump into these folks when you’re feeding the hungry or visiting people in hospitals or jails (see Matthew 25 for details). That’s bad enough.

It’s that they use their image of what a Christian should be to gatekeep the Faith. To keep people away. Because they don’t fit the aesthetic.

Which is why things like today’s Gospel (where Jesus heals the centurion’s servant) need to be heard. Over and over. Until we get it.

This isn’t just another Jesus-heals-somebody story.

Think about who the centurion is for a moment. The centurion isn’t just a foreigner, an outsider, a non-believer, a not one-of-us.

The centurion is an officer in the Roman army. The foreign power that’s occupying Jesus’ home. If the order is given to burn down a synagogue or to arrest some Jews (or worse), this is the guy who makes sure that it happens.

This is as not-one-of-us as it gets.

Jesus has every reason not to help this guy. And yet this is exactly who Jesus helps.

Jesus helps the wrong people.

Think about what that says for a minute. Because this isn’t the only time it happens.

Jesus helps the father who doubts Jesus can do any good (Matthew 17). And the woman from another faith who’s been married and divorced 5 times (John 4). And the extortionist who sold out to Rome (Matthew 25). And the woman caught in adultery (John 8). And on. And on.

Jesus helps the wrong people.

Something to keep in mind whenever we use our image of what a Christian should be to gatekeep the Faith. Whenever we push people away, because they don’t fit the aesthetic.

The issue isn’t that I don’t know what I want

The issue is that I know what I want so intensely

It tastes like copper on my tongue

It smells like a home cooked meal fresh from the oven

It sounds like the wind rustling the leaves on trees in my backyard

It feels like the comfort that can be shared within a family

It looks like a full and happy home

The issue isn’t that I don’t know what I want

The issue is I keep taking the wrong paths to get there

I keep asking the wrong people to help me build it

The issue is that what I want requires a team effort

And I was raised with quite a work ethic

The issue isn’t that I’m too insecure to ask for it

The issue is that I’m too insecure to stand up for myself

I don’t like walking away from things

I don’t like feeling like a failure

I don’t like looking like a liar

I don’t like being considered a quitter

I stick around until it hurts

Until I’m convinced my life will never truly start

Certain my dreams will never come true

When it’s the darkest

That’s when I have to find the dawn

I apologize for the wreckage