#spilled

We said “I love you.”

We really said it.

I thought I was crazy. Sometimes I still do. I don’t know how this will play out. We don’t want to hurt each other. But I knew from the first day we met that I might. We might. I’ve chosen to do this anyway. How will this end?

I can’t stop thinking about your eyes. I cried when you left this time. Our time together has felt like a dream. It was hard to watch you go. There we were; on opposite sides of the country. Somehow, our paths led to this. We managed to land in the same state, and same state of mind. How did we get here?

I want all of you, but I don’t. I know that I can’t. It feels doomed. Someday, we’ll veer off. I hope that it’s peaceful. I hope that it’s mutual. I hope we can cry. I hope we can hold each other when it ends. I want to be able to say goodbye. I don’t want it to end. How will I cope?

You love her, it’s so clear. You love me too, and that’s okay. I love you so much. I hope she knows how lucky she is. I hope you know how lucky I feel to know you. Who knows what the future holds. I can’t see you clearly in my future. I see you, but it feels temporary. Does my saying that make it true?