#wrong person

Thank heavens I didn't type “Laogong, have you eaten yet?” 😭🙏

Charlie: (completely exhausted as she shuffles around the lobby and strokes her pregnant belly that's the size of a beach ball) Sweetie, little apple seed, can you please stop dancing on my bladder and doing high kicks to my lungs so I can sleep?

Baby: (stops momentarily before dropping like a wrecking ball and slamming into Charlie's bladder before -Charlie swears to Satan himself- doing the worm)

Charlie: (accidentally pees herself in the middle of the lobby and just breaks down crying)

Alastor: (walking by) Oh, Charlie, dear, what happened here? You look absolutely a mess! Not to mention the little puppy piddle puddle on the floor.

Charlie: (crack)

Alastor: Hmmm?

Charlie: (Crack! CRACK!!! Creeeeeaaak!!! Horns grow, claws elongate, neck twists and turns, spine groans, tail flickers angrily)

Alastor: ......

Demon Princess: (growling as Charlie's voice overlays itself in three different pitches) Is this funny to you, Alastor? Making fun of pregnant women when they're at their low?

Alastor: (eye twitches)

Demon Princess: I. Am. EXHAUSTED. Alastor. I am in constant discomfort, starving yet unable to properly eat because of the baby cutting the space my stomach had in half, and I just PISSED myself in the lobby of my own hotel like a puppy who isn't housebroken yet because MY baby, YOUR FUTURE PRINCE OR PRINCESS OF HELL, keeps tapdancing on my bladder. I. Am. NOT. In. The. Mood. For. Your. BULLSHIT. You cheesy, pompous, dick and pussy averse, mama's boy bastard of a talkshow host who thrives on everyone else's misery because you grew up in a household where daddy didn't love you enough! Now, Leave Me ALONE!!!

-Fire explodes throughout the lobby-