#work and stuff

into this job,

but this job is not my life,

it is simply a means to an end.

It is the way to fulfill basic needs

to keep the lights on,

but it is not who I am,

nor does it hold my soul.

Someday

I would like to sustain

while doing something I believe in.

But right now

Excuse this little rant. I need to vent.

So I've been working twelve hour shifts since Thursday night, December 29th. The schedule that I am following says that the plant was to resume operations at 11pm on January 2nd. Here's the proof.

So as I was packing up tonight to leave work, I noticed that none of the workers had showed up. The side of my brain that tries to be rational said "well if is half an hour early, they may just be running a bit behind." But as I put my stuff in the car and went to make my last round, I noticed still that the plant was quiet.

I began to feel like something wasn't right.

I came back out to the guard shack to wait and see if anyone would show up at 11. Not. A. Soul. Now realizing that something had happen, I tried to figure out if I needed to cry or yell because I was so angered. With shaking hands I texted my boss and asked him if I was supposed to stay or leave since no one showed up. He didn't answer me, either. If it wasn't for the fact this phone is brand new, I would have thrown it on the ground in frustration.

So for the last two and a half hours I've been sitting here with my head on the counter top, crying. This isn't the first time that the schedule has changed and no one has informed me, that's not what is upsetting me. What is upsetting me is that my back feels like it's made of glass and my right leg is numb from the calf to the right side of my foot from my old tendon injuries acting up. I wish someone would have told me so that I could have brought my pain medicine.

All I want is to curl up in a ball and never get up again. I have no energy, no drive to do any other rounds and I'm so very depressed.

It's okay to take a break from EVERYTHING. You don't have to work on something else just because you stopped working on another thing. Sometimes, whether you realize it or not, you're taking a break because you need a FULL ONE. So just take a day or two. Do nothing but "unproductive" stuff like video games or watching your favorite shows. Go hang out with friends so they can stop you from going and working on stuff.

I seriously thought I was just being lazy and I was trying to get myself back on track. Then I got sick which forced me to sit down and just let myself do whatever. And now I'm realizing I really just need a few. It doesn't matter if the projects or the work your doing is for a job, for school, for yourself, or even for fun. If you have to get up and tell yourself to do it, and a little push isn't helping, STEP BACK. RELAX. It's okay to take a break. (Last time when I "took a break" from something, I worked on something else. That is NOT taking a break.)

has to avoid Tumblr until there’s time to Watch Endings Beginnings

They called last week on Friday to inform us that one of their hearing aids had fallen overboard while fishing and they wanted to know about options for replacement. I told them that-- good news! -- those hearing aids are under warranty from the manufacturer for another year, we can replace it entirely for a deductible of $250! 

Instant frustration. “You know that’s really weird, right? Other clinics give you a replacement for free.” (They don’t). So I explain that this is just the manufacturer determined warranty that you’ll find across the US. They begrudgingly agree with a sarcastic, “And let me guess... if I lose or destroy the other one, it’s another $250? Unbelievable.” I say that yes, the deductible is per aid, but it sure beats having to buy a new set! 

They say they need the aid by Monday for work. I politely explain that unfortunately that won’t be possible as our deliveries go out at 4PM on Friday, ship overnight, get checked in Monday morning, then go through the replacement process, then have to be shipped back, so it would likely be Thursday or Friday before we had it back. They demand a rush. I explain that rush fees will apply, and they say to just do it. I remind them that even with the rush, we would likely not have it until Wednesday. 

I fill out the forms. I submit the paperwork. I follow up that it has been received. I check the status of the order. I added the expedited shipping. I tracked the progress. 

Today the replacement hearing aid was delivered at 1PM. We go down the list checking things in, monitoring them for a short while to make sure they work correctly, then calling people one at a time as we sort our deliveries. 

At 1:45PM, they call. “Is my hearing aid there?” 

“Yes, it just arrived, actually! You were on my list of people to call today, let’s find some time--” 

“God, you know, I don’t know why I have to call you to get this done!” 

“I’m sorry, the hearing aid just arrived at 1PM, and we’ve been gradually checking things in and notifying people--”

“Is your boss available?” 

“Yes, she is.” 

“I want to talk to her.” 

So I fill my boss in, she laughs and takes the call; they’re pleasant as pie, very sweet, so thankful for the extra work we put in, blah blah blah, and coming in for a pickup appointment later this week. 

If only they knew that she had no involvement with this order.