#wls problems

Well it’s been awhile!

A lot has changed including my waistline. I’ve fallen off the wagon - hard.

Here’s a quick update:

Highest Weight: 276

Lowest Weight: 160

Current Weight: 215

WHAT WENT WRONG!?!?! I did, that’s what!

I stopped being as meticulous about my diet and went up to 175, which wasn’t horrible. I didn’t look TOO bad but definitely not as good as my 160 self...but I wasn’t working out as much and i didn’t FEEL as good.

I started a new job. In September I started a new job and with it was presented with a kitchen full of snacks. I went from 175 to 185 pretty quick. 

Then, I had a bad case of cedar fever in October (I usually get a case of cedar fever in the fall). My throat was so scratchy that it hurt to eat and I didn’t have much of an appetite. 

Once i could eat again, my band felt super tight and i was not getting food down. 

I set an appointment and had things checked out and everything looked good, but we took out 1 CC of saline. 

Well...suddenly food was going down again. EASILY going down. TOO MUCH FOOD was going down. 

I wasn’t working out and I was eating badly. 

So now here I am. A sloppy 215 and over it. 

It’s time to get back on the wagon and fix this. 

I’ve done this before, I can do it again. This time at least I’m not starting at 276...but I know it’s going to be probably another year before I’m back to my lowest weight of 160. 

I want to be active again, i want to feel strong again, i want to bike in the MS150 next April. 

So, I have an appointment on June 12th for a “Back on Track” program. I’m going to get back into routine visits to the doctor to check my weight and adjust my band if needed. I think adding 1/2 CC will be just enough to get me to a point I need to be at. 

I’m also going back to better eating habits and working out. 

It’s freakin’ hot in Texas though, so for now I’m easing in with 2 Camp Gladiator workouts a week, and biking to work at least twice a week. 

I’m also coming back to Tumblr to blog about my ups and downs, because I felt that helped me stay accountable. 

Today after almost six months I ate something I was enthusiastic about. It was eggs, fried eggs. Two stupid eggs in a small piece of bread. Nothing out of the ordinary but what surprised me was that I was enjoying it. It was so baffling to finally savor eating something, I caught myself wondering, really just lamenting my relationship with food. 

So, I ask you guys, How’s your relationship with food?

Every since I had WLS more than two years ago I don’t enjoy eating. Yeah wow, dramatic much? But it’s the truth (most of the time).

The taste of things I used to love feels weird in my mouth, and worst of it, my stomach disagrees with some of what used to be my favorite meals.Most of the time, I eat...just to survive. Sometimes I eat well, sometimes I eat badly, and a lot of the times I can’t be bothered to eat. 

I dunno how to explain it. Everything seems so unapethizing I often catch myself thinking it wouldn’t matter to me at all if I just kept my nutrient needs with beverages (eventhough I can’t stomach liquid protein).

I force myself to eat because I fear if I dont, then I won’t be able to run. But it has come to my attention that if I’m not exercising I can’t utter the enthusiasm to have a decent day of eating.The good news is that I’m running often, I know that I need sustenance so I try and follow my dietitian guidelines. It’s hard though. I’m burning from 2000-2500 cal/day and some days I can’t even scratch my TDEE of 1500. I’m not losing any weight, I’m not gaining any either. I’m just there.

If it wasnt for my love of running I think I’d have fallen into an ED. Matter of fact I don’t know if whatever I’m experiencing is, in fact, an ED. Like, it is easy to tell to the people that surround me that I’m full, or that I already ate enough, or that I’m not hungry. The people I know readily accept my judgement in regards to my health and eating habits after wls. 

Anyone have experienced this?