#wishiwould

note: no longer taking asks on this topic, answering the ones I currently have

I am so sleepy. also photo of my fancy phone case I was so excited about under the cut.

Oh my goodness, that’s a lot!

Sorry for the much longer than usual response to these, but I found that once I started talking, I couldn’t really stop.  Feel free to disregard everything I have to say, by the way, because I am by no means an expert.

Character death in D&D is... not a fun time.  Especially when you’ve attached parts of yourself to the character.  One of the things I discovered in the last year is that being able to slip into someone else’s head for a few hours is incredibly therapeutic, and helped me to refocus on my own life with fresh eyes when I returned to myself.  I figured this out because I began acting, which was something I’d never done before, but also by really throwing myself into actively playing a character in a D&D game (as opposed to, you know, just playing).

If resurrection is an option for you in game, whatever risk it might involve could definitely be worth it if this is a character you want to continue on with.

One of the other options you have in front of you is to look at different parts of yourself to invest in a new character if you have to make one.  Vibrancy and optimism is Lyrael’s driving force - what else is there that you wish drives you?  It’s ok if you don’t have another answer, too.  There’s ways to create a new character and play them completely differently, but still retain that determination and inherent vibrancy and joy if that’s something you want to do.  No one is going to judge you for returning to a space that you as a person want or need to visit, and if they do you should find a new group to play with.

I’m comfortable joking about the fact that I’ve died twice in my school game almost out of necessity to be very honest with you.  I had a rough few years prior to this last one, and in playing the characters I did (both in acting and in D&D), I was able to explore parts of me I hadn’t let myself even acknowledge existed.  Losing one of the alleyways that let me do that... even just the thought of it was brutal.  There was a week between the first time I died and the next session (which is when the res ritual happened), and I kinda kept a cheerful, joking face about the whole thing as I tentatively rolled up a new character in case this one kicked it for good.  Part of this was good - there is truth to the saying that actions can fuel mentality, even if you don’t fully believe them at first - but part of this was definitely a hard denial of a whole lot of things.  As much as I share and want to share, I’m a fairly private person with regards to a few things that go on in my head, and I needed that wall there to help me keep myself in check.  This is not healthy and I do not recommend it and that is very important as a disclaimer, but it gives you a sense of where I’m coming from saying these things and trying to give advice on better ways to process this kind of thing.

Character deaths happen, and they can happen for all sorts of reasons.  A plan goes bad, you misread a situation, you make a stupid decision or a fatal mistake - or a party member does.  Regardless, the joy of a medium like D&D is that it gives us unlimited choices.  We can try to revive that part of ourselves that we still want to explore, or we can find a new thread from what keeps us together and use that to weave a new tapestry of narrative.  

I’m sorry for your loss - but I’m hopeful for your character’s future, and for yours.  Congratulations for finding a means to explore parts of yourself you want to invest in, and congratulations for learning from yourself about what you have within you.  It sounds like you have a lot of heart, and you’re going to be just fine, no matter how upsetting it is right now.  You’ve pushed through adversity before, and although this one may seem less significant in the grand scheme of things, its meaning to you is in no way lesser.  Regardless of how your situation turns out, I have complete faith in you and in your capacity to learn from yourself and your wants and needs.

@wishiwould, I’m super late, but happy birthday!! I kept sketching stuff for most of the week but nothing quite convinced me until these designs for teen Curdie and Princess Irene popped out. Hope you like them <3

In Talks Machina he corrected and said it's supposed to be pronounced f'yord

OMG somehow it never clicked that your setting is Tal'dorei! This sounds incredible! Did you write the adventure yourself? Or are you adopting another adventure to the Tal'dorei setting?