#winterstarter

So, for once, in my entire college life, I've actually sat down for longer than a couple of hours and got some serious work done. As a reward to myself, I feel like it's the perfect opportunity to now address this thought that has been rattling my brain for a good hour. Okay, so if carrots are #truevegetables then does that mean I can eat this whole carrot cake I bought from Safeway and it’ll count as one of my five a day?

Okay, I am not a happy camper today. THIS EIGHT YEAR OLD GUY JUST BEAT ME ELEVEN TIMES AT SLED RACING ON CLUB PENGUIN. WHY CAN'T I EVEN BEAT A CHILD AT A GAME FOR SEVEN YEAR OLDS???? He also had limited edition Puffles in his igloo, and I've never been more jealous of a person in my life. 

I wonder if you lick the back of the Queen’s head, would it taste like a stamp?

Tuesday is even worse than Monday, honestly. There's never anything to look forward to on a Tuesday. Also, this little kid keeps following me around the store and I have no idea why. Where the hell are his parents?

I just want some fucking french fries.

I'm sorry but if you don't think Forrest Gump is an amazing movie you can get the fuck out.