Hulk, SMASH!

Guess who’s been away forever? Me. Guess who feels super horrible about it? Not me.

I think I beat you! I've been away for forever and two years, well almost.

Bruh? How high is you?

Actually I'm not high at all, that's not my thing. I just never really got into that sorta thing.

Yuppo. It helps soothe muscle pain, me thinks.

I thought that that was just some dude's name or something not like a muscle pain reliever. MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE.

Who thinks of these things?

I think of these things, that's who thinks of them.

How weird is it to shower with a cat? Because Hyde just kind of jumped on in there while I was showering and just played in the water. That part was kind of weird, but yeah.

Not too weird because cats are friends and not food.

Too bad Thanksgiving isn’t on a Tuesday this year, otherwise it’d be Thanksgiving Turkey Tuesday, and that’s just fun to say.

You're right and that is pretty cool to say. Why is Thanksgiving even on a Thursday? Like who designated that and why?

I have a feeling she’ll probably taste like Ben-Gay Cream, crumpets and Old Money.

Wait a minute, Ben-Gay cream is an actual thing?

She's famous because she's really talented, Santana. Why hate on her when you can hate on me instead?

Tuesday is even worse than Monday, honestly. There’s never anything to look forward to on a Tuesday. Also, this little kid keeps following me around the store and I have no idea why. Where the hell are his parents?

I like Tuesdays because they kinda remind me of turkeys and I love turkeys.

PJ. He was just being— stupid, as always. I don’t even know why I’m surprised.

You know it's not even worth it to get pissed over him right? You're on a whole other more awesome level than him. Just ignore him and if he continues to bother you well then he's gonna have to deal with the wrath of me and you but mostly you because you're a lot more tough than me when it comes to like everything.

I just want some fucking french fries.

I could go for some french toast right now.

It wasn’t you, Bryce.

Really? What is it then?

Whatever I did, I'm sorry.

I’m sorry but if you don’t think Forrest Gump is an amazing movie you can get the fuck out.

Oh I do! You wanna know why?