LET HER GO.

I dunno, bronacho. But my roommate’s definitely seen you a lot more than I have, if you know what I mean.

She sure does. I mean, yeah, of course she does. We hang. It's chill.

Guess who’s been away forever? Me. Guess who feels super horrible about it? Not me.

I haven't seen your face nearly enough, friend. The fuck is up with that?

And then I wouldn’t have to eat any other vegetable for the rest of the day. That’s genius. I don’t know if my tiny stomach will be able to hold five cakes at once, but I’ll certainly try my bestest. Anything for scrumptious cakes.

Sheer genius. You can have your veggies and your dessert at the same time. I think it'd be possible. Then again, I ate an entire cake on my sixth birthday and threw up, so maybe that's not the best idea.

That sounds legit to me. In fact, you should probably eat five carrot cakes, then it'd count as five vegetables. Boom. Logic.