#will analysis

But I think it was a miss opportunity to delve into the aftermath of at least Lee and Micheal. Technically I want the entire aftermath of the death of the Apollo cabin. We don’t get an exact number, but you cannot tell me that 1) Apollo’s slutty ass (pos) doesn’t compete with Hermes in terms of number of kids, 2) that Will was the eldest and cabin councilor at 13 without him loosing a large about of older siblings, and 3) that that loss didn’t fundamentally fuck with him and contribute to his unhealthy sense of responsibility. But I’m willing to ignore that part only because we don’t get the names of the other Apollo kids (but we could have changed that in that book if they let Will stand his own character but whatever). Not addressing Lee and Michael though? Nope not buying it. This is worse when you remember Michael was never found as far as I know and therefore never got a proper funeral? Wouldn’t that at least imply that his spirit is just out there? And given that we’ve seen he can hold a grudge it would have been interesting to see him become a mania and have them come across him in Tartarus instead of the satyr the do see.

I think ignoring the loss of Will’s siblings not only undercuts what Will has gone through, but his burden as the Healer. Unlike every other demigod, Will isn’t allowed to die. If he’s gone there’s no hope anymore. No healer means no fighters which means losing the war before it starts. He, more than anyone, has to deal with the consequences of war and combat. He either heals deadly injuries only to send them back out to fight again or (like touched on in the book) is the last thing those demigods see before going to the underworld. And then he has to just move on to the next person because war waits for no one. He doesn’t even get to celebrate the end of war because while the fighting stopped there are countless injuries that need to be dealt with for however long it takes to get them better with 4 people (if you’re generous enough to add Kayla and Austin and Chiron).

will being el’s brother was done for a reason. all she has grown up with has been violence and anger and strict, oppressive rules. she doesn’t different and nobody has ever helped her overcome that — her violence has been encouraged by all the people closest to her in one way or another. mike calling her a hero for breaking troy’s arm. hopper feeding her anger with his own and having violent reactions himself. kali who directly instructed her to use her emotions to become even stronger. even max, who laughed with her at the small action of blowing up that girl’s milkshake (even though it’s small, it’s an affirmation). all these people have encouraged or admired these parts of her that ultimately hurt her. she’s not happy doing these things but she has never seen anything elss

so, for her to become will’s sister? will’s refusal to participate in violence is a whole new world for her. all of the byers are more resistent to turning to violence, but will has never and will never resort to violence. he shows every threat kindness if they’re alive and uses his words if angered (go away!). el needs to heal this part of her that has a jerk reaction to any threat or anger or embarrassment with violence and learn to utilize her kindness which lies at the core of her person. she is kind. she just needs to be shown how to use that.

will’s non-violence is essential to his relationship with el. the reason she’s been shown to be so much closer to will and having developed more regret and sadness around her usage of violence (crying where she hadn’t before, suddenly showing aversion to this violent part of herself towards even people she views as bad) is very, very likely because he’s the one listening to her and helping her overcome this part of her. he offers solutions to her anger. he offers comfort when he can and gets annoyed with mike for making el feel worse for hurting angela

But I really got to thinking about Jonathan, because I do love stonathan. And I like the concept of jargyle. But I think Jonathan being straight ("normal") is important to his character and connection to Will. What I was really thinking about was their talk in the pizza shop. It would have been so much different of Jonathan was bi, if he understood Will. His acceptance would have been different. It would have been Jonathan accepting Will because he understands. Don't get me wrong, thats GREAT, it's wonderful and it would show an amazing vonnection between the two of them, fortifying their brotherly bond. But it wasn't like that. It was Jonathan accepting Will for who he was, for being different. It was Jonathan not entirely understanding it, but knowing for a fact that nothing wpuld change how he saw Will. Not only is thay important to Jonathan, but it's important to Will. It's important for Will to see that, while he's relieved hate and backlash his whole life, his brother doesn't see him any differently. His brother who's (sort of) normal, who doesn't really understand, who could turn and be like anyone else, accepts him and loves him.

El's are motivated by anger demonstrating the fact that she has learned she has every right to blame and hold responsible her abuser for abusing and not herself, that being angry is completely justified and she will no longer be gaslit into thinking she caused her own suffering, and in that is able to be angry at her abuser and not herself. There's a quote I love: "anger is a part of you that loves you". Because it is telling you when you are being mistreated, it is telling you that you deserve better.

Will's are motivated by love and peace demonstrating the intense strength required to remain gentle in the face of violence, to not become your abuser no matter how much they try to make you into them. Lonnie wanting him to be more "masculine", even Vecna wanting to "use" him for a better means. The strength in the refusal to let your abusers goad anger out of you in an attempt to turn you into them.

Brenner tried to convince El to not be angry with him because her abuse was her own fault. "Now you are angry with yourself and you are taking your anger out on me". But she refuses.

Lonnie and Vecna tried to goad Will into BECOMING angry, violent, because those are the traits they valued and were trying to abuse him into being. "Some minds simply do not belong in this world, they belong in mine." But he refuses.

She refuses to be blamed and harnesses her anger, validating it as rightful.

So both their arcs in season 5 will be about the belief that queerness and happiness can coexist, but in different ways.

So on the same note:

Season 5 Mike's arc will be about fully accepting himself as queer and stopping trying to fix himself or suppress it, seeing queer joy for what it is and allowing it in.

Season 5 Will's arc will be about accepting the idea that he is allowed to be happy and take up the space that joy takes, it is not burdensome or unethical for him to prioritize himself and allow himself that joy.

A boy who is made happy by his queerness accepting that it's queerness that brings him that relief and joy

And a queer boy accepting that he is allowed to feel the happiness that brings him.

Mike thinks the thing that makes him happy shouldn't be queerness.

Will thinks he has no right for queerness to be something that brings him happiness.

In other words, Mike thinks he should be made happy sufficiently by heterosexuality.

Will thinks his queerness is supposed to make him quietly sad and he has no right for it to make him loudly happy.

That's why they've behaved the way they have the ENTIRE SHOW. That's why Mike tries to fix himself but Will just tries to dull himself. It's why Mike compensates loudly but Will just makes himself small. When Mike is queer too overtly, he yells that he's straight. When Will is happy too clearly, he quietly leaves.

Mike never convinces himself not to be happy, he convinces himself he's straight. And Will never convinces himself he's straight, he convinces himself not to be happy.

Mike repeatedly tries to force himself to be happy straight, Will self-sabotages himself into being unhappy queer (even when he could have been happy)

They are proving themselves right in their coping of it that queerness and happiness do not coexist. Mike avoids queerness to prove this point, out of fear that a pursuit of queerness would confirm the idea of unhappiness. Will avoids happiness to prove this point, out of fear that a pursuit of happiness would confirm the idea that it wasn't actually possible.

It's one of Jonathan's first lines in the series, actually. "He asked if I could take an extra shift, I said yeah, I figured we needed the extra cash".

It's a fantastical kid fantasy of riches but it is also different the way Mike and Will would think about "never having to work" anyways. For Mike, if he "never had to work a day in his life", in 4-8 years, he won't have to. For Will, it'd be one.