#which is upsetting

As much as i sometimes indulge in it, and have fun drawing suggestive stuff here and there, imma be honest, i kinda perfer them just not being sexual at all, and i wish i could see more ship stuff that involved that soft thing between their EM fields i see in some fics, where they can brush onto each others emotions to show their care and even romantic love

Bc i want that, i want to live in a world where sex isn't needed or expected, bc sometimes i forget I'm the exception

Which sucks. I know there will have people out there like me, but i also know that for the most part, I'd probably be disappointing someone for not being interested in sex or anything of the sorts. Relationships will be hard for me because of that

I have to constantly remind myself that, while for me it's like a joke, some people are serious about it, and I'm the abnormality that doesn't feel what others do. For them it's natural, for everyone it's like that and not something they have to study on to not look like a fool for not getting it

But in the transformers world, they can just have the romantic aspect, or just not need to worry about having something physical to give to be with someone, that's the norm for them. And i want that, that's my perfect world and it's right there for me to indulge on it without worry of it being weird for them

Idk, this is kinda ventish, I've just been thinking about it a lot

I'm not saying i hate the smut in tf and that i wish there wasn't, bc that isnt the case, again, I've indulged myself in it alot and i like some of the stuff myself, for fun. I just wish there could sometimes be more stuff asexually with them i guess

That being said: Apayauq is on a break from competitive mushing due to the expenses of the sport. I've said this many times, mushing even recreationally is very expensive. You don't make money doing this sport (Apayauq credits her family's polar bear tour business for helping with costs for 2022).

Aside from the average musher's financial struggles, indigenous arctic mushers face inequalities in the very sport that they originated. Lots of this has to do with income and opportunity inequalities that make financing a dog team even more difficult than average. A true shame considering that mushing is a cultural activity. While there are many Alaskan Native organizations fighting for other aspects of equality for their populace, not many focus specifically on dogsledding. Consider supporting the Frank Attla Youth Dog Sled Program (teaching dog care to native children) or if you choose to take a tour in an area where dog sledding is relevant please consider booking that tour with an indigenous musher.

Additionally due to inequalities in medical care it is often more difficult for indigenous transgender people to get the gender affirming care that they need AND transgender Alaskan Natives have been shown to have a startling level of discrimination against them. Consider supporting LGBTQ+ organizations in Alaska such as Choosing our Roots (helps families host LGBTQ+ youth in need), Identity Alaska (youth programs but also has programs about coming out as an elder), and Alaskans Together.

So I was given one shot at editing right? Right. No one told anyone what they wanted from me and I failed because we all miscommunicated. I got pulled of editing after that one shot, and then much later was told it was literally the only thing standing in my way from full time. So I asked around on what I could do to fix this.  I kid you not I asked EVERYONE. I mentioned it to everyone. All my bosses. I got sent from one boss to another one after another over and over and over.

I ended up getting one on one editing lessons set up with a very sweet coworker only for all the changes going on for her to no longer have any time whatsoever. So our first meeting got pushed back and the indefinitely cancelled.