#which is seemingly.. common.. so here is my basic info..

For those of you who want my long winded rant: My rewatch notes will be enclosed in << >> and in orange to distinguish them from the new text I'm adding now.

<<Daniel rattles off some facts about relationships. He uses examples from other cultures to lend insight but it's done in a way that tells us he wants to just info dump about shit he knows. History, cultures, people that's stuff Daniel loves learning about and sharing. 

“Almost all cultures put a significant pressure on single adults to form bonding pairs.” Don't I know it. He again uses cultural examples instead of personal ones. This discussion is not one Daniel shares his own experiences with. The way he approaches it as a learning experience instead of a bro bonding moment is telling.>>

Now I view this as evidence of Daniel being ace but that's not exactly what we are here for right now. It's important though that Daniel doesn't really seem compelled to be in a relationship nor does he actively seek one out.

<<Sam's turn to….basically repeat what Daniel just said but with more modern and personal examples. She lists TV, Commercials, and Magazines as perpetrators in this compulsion.

“I think that's what I just said” Daniel isn't particularly stressed about his ‘lack of a love life’ but Sam seems to be distressed about hers. 

“They make you afraid of being alone but at the same time, tell you not to settle for anything less than this perfect romantic ideal” So this scene is just a way to highlight that romantic entanglements are messy but my biggest issue is with Sam. Or rather how the writers handle this scene. Sam is unhappy with the compulsive amatanormativity (compulsive romance and “love”) and the solution isn't for her to take a step back and address it but rather to bury her head in the compulsion. Force herself to say yes to a man she deep down knows she doesn't want to be with because her only other option is “taken”. 

“How's things?” Daniel can see Sam is getting more personal with it. Again he doesn't seem distressed. Teal'c doesn't really but he rarely emotes. >>

SO, to boil this down into a more condensed form. SG1 shows us what is very clearly a discussion on amatonormativy and the human societal pressure to, as Daniel put it, "form bonding pairs." This is a commonality through the show and the worlds visited and even the jaffa and goa'uld aren't exempt. But Daniel and Sam both seem to acknowledge and understand these pressures with varying opinions.

As I said, Daniel doesn't seek out a partner. Partners usually find him to various results (we won't get into that right now but let's just say the fandom treatment of Vala's "pursuit" of Daniel is telling and disturbing). Sam is, however, quite distressed as there is someone she does want to be with but for "reasons" (read military ranking and such) she knows they can't be together.

The show then goes on to do the single most annoying thing in the world and have Sam accept the proposal of a man who not only stalked her but also felt entitled to her entire life (we hate Pete). The conversation was seemingly leading Sam to the conclusion that "forming bonding pairs" is kind of bullshit but NO the writers couldn't fathom this woman not being with a man.

Just as many fandoms cannot fathom a character not being with another person (in the franchise or not). Yes, this all comes back to fandoms' favorite pastime of "let's force these characters to be in a relationship." What I find interesting is that this discussion of amatonormativity can happen in a show from the 90s (sure the ep was early 00s but still) and not only do the writers completely miss the mark but fans have also seemed to miss it as well.

The pressure to bond, to form lasting romantic and/or sexual relationship is so clearly present in our culture starting in our youth when we are consuming fairy tales about princes and princesses. This pressure is not alleviated as we get older but doubled down upon. Those of us in the aspec (not just the aros and aces but the others as well) are force fed a diet of relationship expectations to the point may of use first think we are broken for not meeting those expectations.

Seeing fandom spaces praise representation and slam erasure while erasing those of us who do not fit into the boxes of "bonding pairs" is not only disheartening but harmful. It's a common occurrence to see an aroace person talk about how they feel erased when fandom takes the one aroace character who is vehemently against such relaionships and force them into one. It only gets worse when they get shouted over with the line "but aroaces can xyz."

WE know aroaces can be in relationships. Shippers won't shut up about it and worse they feel like the only people biting back against the amatonormative shipping culture are allos. Aroaces know this, we know our own sexuality and we know we can do those thing but it's not much of a spectrum when ever piece of representation is shoved into the same damned corner.

Instead of addressing the issue we are erased or told we are the problem. That we need to conform or get out because they fought to be seen as if we are not the invisible orientations.

- Futa and Mu

I think that for these two it's mainly about (at least initially) believing that their "murders" where other people's faults, not theirs. for Futa, he talks about how "everyone did it", so why should only he be punished? and for Mu, I mean, her second song is literally called "It's not my fault", she blames her bullies for driving her to commit such an act. also, although this is more in the realm of speculation, there might be a connection of both of them "killing" someone less deserving. like, it's strongly implied that most of people Futa went after were genuine scumbags (still doesn't make him right, but yk), and yet the girl he "killed" truly didn't do anything wrong. with Mu I can't be as certain, but it seems as if Rei (her victim) wasn't one of the people actively bullying her, but rather a passive watcher (and probably the person who caused her group to turn on her in the first place. but again, idk the details yet, we'll find out)

- Shidou and Mahiru

okay so obviously with these guys a huge theme is 'love' (both of them saying that they would do anything for love in the q&a). I kind of have two different ideas, depending on what we find out about Shindou's "murder" in T3.

Idea 1 - both of their murders were caused by 'love'. this hinges on Shidou commiting actual malpractice in order to try and save his wife and/or children.

Idea 2 - both of them lost those they held most dearly, and it was due to their death that they started to understand their cruelty.

yeah so basically, I'm still not sure if Shindou's murder was just convincing the relatives of the sick to let him 'pull the plug' so that he could transplant their organs, or did he commit actual malpractice out of desperation to save his family. yet again, we'll see.

Kazui and Amane

so, of course there's the obvious age thing, the oldest and the youngest, but I don't think that's actually the biggest connection. instead, I think it's about how both of their "murders" were caused by the ideologies that were forced on to them by their families (and yes, I do believe that Kazui is gay, and his wife somehow died after he came out to her). with Amane ofc she grew up in a cult, it fucked her up, she killed her mother after she snapped. with Kazui, he grew up in a conservative family, he was never able to accept himself, he chose to pretend to be in love with his wife and marry her. there could also be something there about how both of their "murders" were triggered by them trying to break out. Amane seemingly snapped after someone saw here trying the help a stray cat, which was "against the rules". and Kazui tried to finally live as himself, come out and all that, and somehow that caused his wife's death.

- Mikoto (or actually, John) and Kotoko

funnily enough, those two were the easiest to figure out. they both see themselves as protectors, and they both started killing, seemingly, to help someone, but sadly they both feel a strong blood-thirst and so their killings stopped being those of protectors, and started being those of wild animals

“Well I’m here now and Steven will front tomorrow morning…” Marc mumbles under his breath.

You normally don’t fight. Why would you? Marc and you aren’t together. You’re only “recent” friends, which was a slow process. Marc didn’t front a lot in the beginning but after seeing that Steven and you were serious, it became inevitable. And after a while you got to actually feel comfortable around each other. Got to see his smile, his real smile, which always made your heart flutter. Got to know he hates coriander but really likes thyme. Got to know what he loves to watch on tv (baseball games) and what makes him fall asleep immediately (the office but only the uk version). Got to know him.

But when he leaves for two weeks with only a note behind that says “Gone for two weeks. Steven will call you” you were pissed.

“You think I’m mad because I didn’t get to see Steven?” Your voice trembles. Was he actually serious? He couldn’t be. The way he just looks at you with a stern gaze and his stupid muscular arms crossed, made it impossible to guess what he was thinking. One of the million things that differentiated him from Steven, who couldn’t hide what he was feeling even if he tried to (not that Steven ever tried).

You feel exhausted suddenly. The feelings you’ve been harboring for this stubborn idiot weighing on you. You didn’t want to deal with it, something you and Marc seem to have in common. Just ignore things until it becomes impossible to ignore.

“What then?” Ha asks. His expression less stern after hearing your voice.

“You just..a note isn’t..I...” you aren’t sure how to express yourself without saying too much.

“Forget it.” You say more frustrated than before. You shouldn’t have to explain how basic etiquette, even for just friends, work.

You sit down on the sofa. A long beat of silence stretches.

“This isn’t about Steven?” He tilts his head slightly.

“Steven called and texted me. He let me know as soon as you landed.” Yes it sounds passive aggressive and yes you’re immediately embarrassed because truthfully it’s not his fault you caught feelings and are mad that he seemingly doesn’t care to tell you that he just fucks off for two weeks.

He raises his brow. Surprised at the slight jab and you feel your heart race. This is too obvious, you’re being a childish idiot. “I was worried. I don’t mean to let it out on you.” You try to explain.

“It’s not Stevens fault. He only realized when we were already on the plane and we were careful. He is okay.”

“Mate stop being an idiot” Marc looks into the reflection of the tv to see Steven shake his head. “This isn’t about me. She is pissed you left without saying anything and you know it. I’m gonna leave you to it so you two can talk. Tell her.” Just as Marc is about to question what Steven means by “tell her” Steven gives him a look of “don’t you dare”. Leaving Marc alone and completely bare to himself. The cloak of denial and fear lifted.

You see Marc looking intently at the tv and you’re about to ask what Steven is saying when Marc suddenly asks “This isn’t about Steven?” He sounds less confused and more like he needs to make absolutely sure.

You look up at him, not sure what you can say and what could reveal too much. Since picking the right words seems too hard you just shake your head.

He looks like he is analyzing your face and it makes you nervous. His intense stare making your heart race. “Why did you care? If this isn’t about Steven why do you care? He called and you knew he would be back. Why do you c-“

“You didn’t say goodbye..” You interrupt him even though your voice is meek, which isn’t you. At all. So you clear your throat. “You didn’t say goodbye. You just left.” It comes out clearly now that you found your voice again and you meet his gaze with your own. “I know we are friends because you have to. Because it would be too awkward if we didn’t get along but it still sucked that you just left and only left a note.”

He looks like you just slapped him. “That’s what you think?”

You’re caught off guard by his shocked and clearly hurt expression. His normally hardened mask completely cracked. “Well…yeah I..it just hurt that-“

“You think I don’t want things to become awkward and that’s the only reason?”

His question is met with you slightly confused and blinking up at him, not sure what to say about that. It’s what you feared thought and now it slipped out.

“That’s not the reason. I don’t just endure you because Steven and you are together and it would be awkward otherwise.” He says it like he can’t believe that’s what you think. The thought of you seeing what you and Marc have through that perspective leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. And suddenly he feels sick to his stomach. That’s what he makes you feel? That’s how he is acting? Steven was right, he is an idiot.

“Is that what I made you think? Is that what you think of me?” He asks more quietly now.

“Marc..”

“I like you.”

It surprises you. Leaves you wide eyed for a second.

“I like how you snort when you laugh really hard. How you change out your socks for fuzzy socks as soon as you get into the apartment. How you love Steven and immediately accepted me. How your eyes are so expressive. I like how kind and stubborn you are. I like you. Not because I have to. Because I couldn’t possibly not like you.”

You don’t know what to say. You didn’t expect an emotional speech from Marc out of all people. Actually he is the one person you never expected it from. Ever. And your speechlessness makes him unbelievably nervous.

Did he just really say all of that?

“I didn’t..I like being your friend is what I mean.” He tries to backtrack but he sees you smile. Your smile turns into a grin. “You’re an idiot.”

You say with a fond chuckle and the sound eases his shoulders. You take his hands. “I’m an idiot too.” You say almost coyly with a wide grin as you look at your hands. And before he can overthink he cups your jaw and leans closer.

“Can I-“

“Yes”

💐Does your F/O give you flowers or vice versa?

Puzzles is your classic romantic, flowers are the bare minimum and he'll go out of his way to make more fantastical displays but knows when to stick to the basics. I'd give him a bouquet comprised of his favorite flora~

Dude isn't big on gestures and goes for more physical displays, if you mention wanting flowers he'll eventually get around to it seemingly at the most critical moments. A single rose, nothing huge but the simplicity makes it more special. He loves me and isn't gonna get all mushy just for the sake of it, he's gonna be real.

📺 What would you watch on TV together?

Puzzles isn't a fan of modern TV and prefers to stick to the classics, whether it be old game shows or movies from his childhood. 50's to 80's are his preferred decades for TV. Luckily I've grown up on a mix of modern and retro entertainment so I'm always up for watching something beyond my time.

Oh Dude loves trash TV; cop shows, jackass, Jerry Springer, anything that falls into the junk category he's all over it. Not my type of entertainment but he's usually busy yapping in my ear about what's on or unrelated stuff to care much. TV becomes more of background noise if you catch my drift.

🍴 Which one of you cooks for the other?

With Puzzles it's 50/50, he enjoys getting back to more traditional hobbies even if he's rusty and needs some assistance. Tastebuds have changed over the decades and he's got catching up to do!

I do the cooking full stop LMAO Dude can microwave stuff and half-work the stove but there's the looming threat of setting the trailer on fire, so I take over from there. He's appreciative in his own way, he'll handle running errands so long as I make dinner.

🌿 Is there a smell you associate with your F/O? Why?

Puzzles gives me the essence of department stores and fresh fabrics, something subtle but distinguished; his signature~

Dude smells like leather, cigarettes and wore-down demin with a hint of gasoline, something that reminds me of my home state and the grungier aspects of southern living. Comforting but a bit strong.

💋 Were you your f/o’s first kiss? What was your first kiss with them like?

For Puzzles yes, he didn't have any friendships or partners in his younger days and tried his best to keep others from getting too close, so he had no experience to go off of. Having a screen for a face isn't ideal when trying to kiss, but he can still feel the pressure from my lips being applied and the static lingering on my skin when pulling away.

For Dude nahhh, he's been married and divorced so he's been around the block but that doesn't mean he's perfect at it. He's a very touchy-feely guy in private and in public if he wants to bug me for fun, but his kisses are genuinely nice. Lips are softer than expected.

🏠 How would you and your f/o decorate the inside of your house?

Decor really shows how in-tune artistically Puzzles and I are, its a mix of modern and classic arts, movie posters, hand-crafted pieces, fictional media and more coming together in a space clearly built for two creative minds. He'd have his own private study and my own office space~

Dude isn't huge on decorating, what sparse things he has in his trailer was mostly found in yard sales or brought in from the junkyard so it'd mostly be me cleaning what he's got and adding bits of my own decor here and there. He doesn't care so long as the things he likes are still hanging around somewhere.

💬 Are there any specific pet names you or your f/o uses?

Puzzles likes using "my little star/rising star" along with us using common names i.e. darling, sweetie, dear~

Dude mainly uses "doll/dollface" along with babe and hun and I stick to the usual along with "stud"~

🍵 Is your f/o a tea or a coffee person? How about you?

Puzzles likes a good brew, being an android makes consuming foods non-essential but that doesn't stop a cartoon from enjoying the finer things! He has a very specific coffee order but teas are more broad, probably takes an earl grey on most days.

When there is something he's interested in, he takes the time to educate himself. He is reading educational books but is not at all into fiction. He does read poetry for inspiration on how to charm the girls (in exchange for intel, of course).

He most certainly does appreciate beauty whenever he sees it. Be it a beautiful appearance, a wonderful character, a moving situation, a good piece of music, a stunning picture… but as a man of (charming) words, most of all, a skilful application of words strung together poetically.

He strangely feels inclined to write experiences and emotions down poetically. Hence his admiration for those who can and his understanding for those who cannot but try. Since his penmanship is not of importance to him, and the ladies usually don't need anything very complex to cooperate, he isn't excellent but also not bad. He's right at this place where one wants to try badly, but is too aware of one's weaknesses, so that nothing would ever be sufficiently good enough to match the need.

Valen is stupidly confident and nonchalant about it, which bothers his colleagues sometimes often. It's hard to describe, but it's just this little sting of jealousy, if you perceive someone else to succeed so seemingly easy, as if it was no big deal. It appears as if Valen doesn't value the effort to get there or has no appreciation for the potential risk involved, and that can be off-putting for others. Firstly, that is, of course, not true and it is always their own insecurities at play and not Valen's fault. And secondly, this doesn't mean Valen's free of doubts or insecurities himself. ;-)

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Valen isn't interested in the conflict with other factions. He's not the guy to "rescue the world". But he IS the guy to rescue "HIS world". He is concerned with the well-being of those in his immediate surroundings because that's all that matters (and from there the results ripple like waves beyond his world).

Hence the good relationship between him and Merlin. He takes care of her, while Merlin is taking care of the world at large. Merlin's power forces such a responsibility on her, removing her from the small worlds people live in. It is making her dependent on people such as Hogan and Valen, who keep her involved in the small worlds of theirs. Human well-being depends entirely on these real, small world relationships (and keeps them humble).

He has failed some previous jobs. Not everyone or everything can be saved or protected. It is still gnawing on his mind occasionally, making him feel rather small and powerless in the face of destiny. Then, for a short time, the smile on his face fades.

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His scar happened among the things that led to Hogan engaging Valen around 5-6 years ago. Valen somehow was at the right time at the right place and got entangled with some business near Holistone. It was an injury taken because Valen stepped up to go beyond what was ever expected from him. Hogan immediately liked the young man and offered him a place to work. Valen was unemployed at that time and Hogan didn't expect he would win him over with the "meagre" pay he could offer but Valen ended up accepting after all.

Valen really just lives by his own honor code and as long as he serves the one he chose to follow (Hogan), all is well for him. In the end, serving under Hogan in the Heroic Order is just his latest choice of work, not least because it granted him the knighthood. There is probably nothing better than that but as hinted at, I think he would have a difficult time later to decide upon his future if Merlin ever made him choose between becoming her life-long personal knight or staying with Hogan. (He said so pretty much straight at the beginning but I consider that a move which had more to do with drawing the truth out of Merlin rather than being a serious consideration at that point.)

Valen also has no real military training. xD LOL But he got a quick run-down from Hogan, not personally, but he arranged something so that Valen could catch up. There was nothing much he needed to learn, other than how exactly the hierarchies are structured and what bureaucratic requirements must be met etc.

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I think Stormcaller is a fabled sword actually originating from Stoutstone Isle. Owning that sword is basically a childhood dream since it features so much in local folktales. They say its true potential can only be unlocked by someone worthy of wielding it. How it ends up in an auction, in Holistone no less, I don't know. But it seems to have been considered as nothing but a pretty sword to be kept on a wall, being mindlessly passed on from one rich to the other. Until Valen happened to walk past the auction house seeing the items on for that night's event. I don't know how exactly he got it, but I am 100% certain that he did not simply make a bid and won it. xD Nonetheless, the sword seems to be rightfully in his hands afterwards, as there are no claims made otherwise.

Stormcaller makes use of gems, by the way. Fay would probably have tons to say about that. xD The electricity we see in-game is actually known to Valen also. He can feel the buzzing power running through the sword when he touches it and how it enables him to move faster and deal more than melee damage to his foes. While those he attacks get stunned by the magic, Valen only takes the positive effects of it, making him… truly the one who is worthy of wielding it.

Regarding his second sword (further HCs recorded here): Valen says "it's not the right time to use it", suggesting that there is going to be a specific time for it to be used. Reminds me a little of Walker who used his old friends gun to get revenge. At the moment, this is a bit too much of a stretch, thinking that Valen might use it in similar fashion. He isn't really the character for such actions. Instead, I think it's more along the lines of a promise made not to use it until a certain condition is met. A promise important enough to carry that sword for years. To whom he made that promise? Hmmm… ;-)

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Valen started playing poker when he became a mercenary. He enjoys the psychological tactics it involves and uses his out-going inclinations to massively confuse the other players. xD

He's frugal by being too lazy to shop. He saves up merely by not knowing what to spend it on. Most of his salary goes towards food and drink. He lives very minimally.

Even if, further down the line, his family house came hunting him down, he would never return to Stoutstone Isle. He just doesn't see any scenario in which he'd be happy doing so. He makes to claims to any heritage rights, either. He's left and he's gone, leaving the isle fully to sort out it's own problems. (Maybe a reason why that canon was ditched, since it seems irrelevant to his backstory if it never came up again in any sort of relevance.)

And that's it. For now. xD Again, thanks for reading this wall of text. <3