#weight m

my mom is the only family member who knows about my disorder, so sometimes older adults who don't know me too well like relatives or friends of the family will see me and comment on my weight. it's not usually in a bad way but it just reminds me of how noticeable my weight gain is now. they usually say things like "wow, you gained a lot of weight, you look so different now but it looks good on you!" and occasionally they warn me that my current weight looks good but that I need to make sure not to gain any more or else it'll be too much. I already feel like I've gained too much tbh and I don't think they mean it in a bad way so I never say anything. it still bothers me though.

my best friend also has an ed. we haven't seen each other irl in kind of a long time since we live far from each other and have work and studies. but I did let it slip into a text a few months ago that I had gained weight (I didn't tell her how much or how I felt about it, it was a totally neutral statement that just slipped) and she didn't comment on it. I have reasons to think (based on how she acts with other people) that if she saw me now she would find me ugly and likely break our friendship off. so I can't be open with her about stuff, either.

I also feel guilty because my old clothes don't fit me anymore. a lot of my old clothes were from asian brands that don't just make larger sizes. I feel guilty about all the money I spent on clothes that no longer fit me anymore especially ones that I only tried on or wore a few times but not much, and all the money I've been having to spend on new clothes that actually do fit, literally everything, even clothes people aren't going to see like new underwear/night wear because everything is way too small for me now. I already have guilt issues related to money, so this made it worse.

I know health comes before everything else, and I'm glad that my body is physically recovering (I won't go into my old behaviors and physical symptoms since I don't want to trigger anyone). but I still feel so bad mentally. yeah, I do all the usually recommended stuff like writing in a journal and taking deep breaths but like. that doesn't take away the fact I'm way heavier now, hate myself for it, and have to blow money on replacing all my old clothes. and therapy options are super limited where I live (long story short, you can get short term therapy for 'non emergency' issues like siuational stress, or you get hospitalised if you're a danger to yourself, but there's no in between or grey zone area).everything just feels awful rn and I am not sure how to cope or where to turn to. thanks if you have any tips.

I'm so glad you chose to reach out and get support, anon! All that stuff sounds so, so hard to think about. And so much to cope with at once, too! When you heal, you start making a LOT of changes to patterns that have been entrenched in your life for a long, long time. That means you're doing a lot of uprooting and it is hard, uncomfortable work. It makes a lot of massive changes to a LOT of parts of your life, because those are the parts that were touched by your disorder. You're not alone in finding this upheaval difficult, and I'm very proud of you for sticking to your healing mentality even when it gets hard.

Adjusting to a changing body image is really, really hard. I think a lot of us who've been in long-term recovery still really struggle with it. It absolutely does get easier, though. For now, if you find you can't feel positively about your body, try to feel neutral about it as much as you can. Tell yourself things like "this is what healing can look like" and "bodies change and grow and that's okay." You can also focus on the ways that you feel healthier and try to tie those healthier feelings in with your idea of the way you look now. Remind yourself that the body you exist in now is worthy of those feelings of health - and so is your soul.

Family can be so challenging! Remember, you don't owe anybody lots of details about your ED, but you are allowed to say "hey, I'd prefer not to talk about my weight" or "it sounds like you meant that as a compliment, but it's not something I want to focus on right now, thank you!" With regards to comments telling you not to gain more weight, you can say "I don't find those comments helpful or supportive." With family members who insist on commenting on your weight, it might be best to just limit contact for the time being. It can feel very empowering to remind yourself that you are allowed to choose to surround yourself with people who make you feel good!

As for your friend - that can be really complicated. Your friend may be outwardly supportive, but their own ED might cause them to have thoughts about you that you find challenging. Still, if your friend is making an effort to be supportive of you, you can continue to try to have the hard conversations and heal with them - maybe you'll find ways to relate! If your friend is someone who would truly ditch you over your body, then that's not a reflection of you, as much as it feels like it is. It just means that they're too deep in their own issues to be a good, healthy friend to you right now. It's hard, but you're allowed to grieve and you deserve to surround yourself with people who do make you feel loved for more than just your body - people who want to see you heal!

I'm sorry to hear about the limited mental health support options in your area, and that you're stressing about getting new clothes. Clothes shopping can be hard for those of us with EDs, but perhaps you could at least try to make yourself feel positively about the idea of getting to go shopping? You could experiment with new looks and new clothes that make you feel better in your body the way that it is. You can remind yourself that money exists to be spent on fulfilling your basic needs and new clothes are a need for everyone at times. It is not a moral failing to change sizes and need new clothes. If you simply cannot feel positively about shopping, at least take comfort in the knowledge that you are definitely not alone and that many people in recovery have struggled with the stuff you're struggling now - and that one day you will be proud of yourself for getting through it. I hope someday you are able to have fun clothes shopping at any size!

I spent over 2 weeks arguing with doctors about how I don't respond well to Plex therapy because they literally cannot do it close enough together (safely) for it to be effective and Vyvgart is way better for me. Over and over they kept trying to tell me they're "essentially the same thing" despite my having no improvement (no decline, but no improvement) until I had to call my primary neurologist and get my ass discharged AMA admist a big fucking fuss.

I am 2 days post Vyvgart and my symptoms are completely gone. I'm not even exaggerating. No slurring or nasally voice. No tosis. Perfect swallowing.

Like maybe listen to my ass, next time. Y'all admitted you're not familiar with Vyvgart and like that's fine, it's brand spanking new, but why in the world would you not actually contact the infusion center or listen to a patient who has experience with both!?