#virtualrelationships

It was really hot the other night. I decided to experiment a little. I tried out some anonymous cybersex chat with a virtual date.

  Sexy chats online

Adding some spicy conversation to a virtual relationship gave me a thrill. My partner, an avatar that I’ve been dating for a few weeks, was very excited to take part.

I’ve felt different ever since, online and off. More powerful.

Here are some of the benefits that I experienced.

  5 things I felt after an anonymous cybersex chat

Here’s how a sexy chat changed my virtual relationship, boosted my self-confidence and made me feel more sensual, online and off.

Increased trust. For me, initiating a spicy conversation was easier within an established virtual relationship. I trusted my partner, but more importantly, I trusted myself. I was ready and able to say what I wanted and what I did not want. It was a great feeling knowing that I could trust myself.

Increased self-awareness. Sharing your inner desires in conversation means being able to listen to yourself and identify what you enjoy. Once you’ve done that, sharing is a whole lot easier.

Self-confidence. Talking to a partner helped me to take charge of my own sexuality.  I found talking with my partner to be empowering. He seemed to get a confidence boost out of it as well. For me, having a sense of self-confidence feels very sexy. 

Stronger relationship. Chatting anonymously and enjoying some sensual conversation brought my partner and I closer together. I feel like we’re much more intimate. Not only did I learn a lot about my partner, I learned a great deal about myself.

Greater creativity. At first, I wasn’t sure what to say. I felt a little nervous. However, since I was in a safe and secure environment, I gradually got braver. We tried out some role play scenarios. I tried on some different roles. My virtual date and I both loved it.

  Looking for ways to get a sexy chat started?

Try talking about movies and books that you find sexy. “Fifty Shades of Grey” anyone?

Need more of a how-to guide? Here’s a book called “Sex Talk: Uncensored Exercises for Exploring What Really Turns You On” by sex therapist Aline P. Zoldbrod and erotica writer Lauren Dockett. (I’m not affiliated; I just think that starting with a book is a helpful way to get started.)

P.S. Here’s your weekly challenge. Try out some spicy conversation. Do what feels right for you.

P.S.S. Sign up to chat anonymously and you begin your search for a virtual partner within minutes.

Dr. Delilah

I have learned:

I have opinions on politics. Lots of them! Strong ones. Normally, I don’t like to discuss politics. Or religion. I feel tense and nervous when they come up. I’m fairly conscious of being politically correct I guess, especially with work colleagues.

I hate the very idea of reality TV. I don’t understand what the Kardashians are on every magazine. Of course, I read that they’re worth almost one billion dollars. Maybe they’re the smart ones?

Books are a never ending source of comfort and truth in my life. I find this every time I read. I’m between books right now and looking for the next best thing. Talking this over with others who also love to read has been a joy that I didn’t know I was missing.

The best part is, that somehow, expressing myself online has spilled over into my offline life.

A new assertiveness is cropping up inside

Last week, when a date suggested a movie, I actually turned it down.

I didn’t want to see it and I said so. Then I made my own suggestion. I felt nervous about it. Usually I would have just agreed. I’m a bit of a people pleaser I guess. But I had to try asserting myself.

He agreed.

I felt more powerful all evening.

Is this feeling due to the Online Disinhibition Effect that Dr. Delilah told me about? It may be.  The basic idea is that when people go online, they worry less about what other think. They are then able to act in a bolder way.

  Transcending my self-imposed limits

One thing that has become clear to me is that there are all kinds if limits on my life. I hadn’t realized it. Now that I know that they are there, I can push through them.

This month, I want to:

Set aside flirty chat and focus on great conversations with at least three new friends

Find a book loving anonymous chat companion

Express myself. I’m going to say what I really think at least once in every conversation I have this month, online and off.

P.S. Have an opinion you want to hash out? Chat anonymously with online friends and connect with your real self.

    The science of summer love

Is it real? I read up on a number of articles. Live Science identified some factors that may influence summer love. These include:

A break from routine.

I know that feeling relaxed and enjoying the sun makes me feel more sociable. I love to walk through the parks and enjoy the beautiful flowers. At night, after I’ve cleared away the dishes I like to sit on my deck with a glass of wine… It all reminds me of when I was a young girl (except for the wine of course).

Cultural expectations.

As New Year’s Eve comes with many expectations, so does summer. Summer love may be a cultural phenomenon. That book I’m reading? All those movies about summer love? These help us create expectations around relationships in the summer. The relationships are not too heavy. Just a summer fling. Casual. Lighthearted. Temporary.

Light summer clothing.

The site of so many women in summer dresses, shorts and tank tops, bathing suits and shirtless men are all mighty tempting. Whenever I emerge from the house, I see the beauty of men and women with toned torsos and tanned legs on display. That certainly puts me in the mood for summer love.

  Do you feel more flirtatious in the summertime? Online or off?

This summer, I’ve been wearing long summer dresses and letting my hair flow about my shoulders. It definitely makes me feel far more flirtatious. I also like to wear golden sandals, have my toes painted, wear hats and gorgeous bright red lipsticks.

Running along the beach, meeting up with friends. These are all things that make me feel sensual in my own skin.

This summer I’ve been too busy to meet a summer prospect. I’m on a quest to see if that desire for summer love can be found through anonymous avatar chat.

I’m going to ask my anonymous online dating partners if they’ve found summer love online or if they think it’s possible.

  P.S. I dare you to have a fun summer online fling. Virtual relationships that never, ever end up offline. You can begin to chat anonymously here within minutes. Set up your avatar and start connecting. It’s fun. See you inside. Wink, wink.

  Dr. Delilah