She didn't know what love is
Who said 17 is the sweetest age of a girl? No more being called kid ? Officially being an adult ? Legal ? Is it like a turning point of your new adulthood life? Yeah.. she thought so.. and she started to open up a bit when she was 17.
She met this guy; her classmate; in the first year of high school. They were in the same literature club and happened to be chosen as the school rep for poem competitions. And that's how they were getting close to each other. First it was sweet like how it was. She felt special, ever since the boy sometimes sent her some poems. It was good until one day she felt unwell and went to the school medical centre. And that time, the boy accompanied her and that was when he asked to kiss her. First she hesitated, but he convinced her, and that was her first kiss without she realized that it was the beginning of her unfortunate fate. Since thay day, the boy kept asking her to for a kiss every single day. In the medical centre, in the restroom, in the lab, the corner of the classroom, every where. First she felt okay, then she felt something wrong. This immature girl thought "is it really normal to do so? Why I feel uncomfortable?" But thought only thought, she tried to ignore it even tho she didn't feel right at all.
That was one day when she told the boy about her bad experience when she was 11. Instead of comforting her or feeling bad about her. He said he wanted to grab her breasts as well. She said no, but he kept convincing her telling her blablabla and as an immature girl she was and thinking she was grown up enough for this, she agreed and let him touch her sensitive parts that she hate the most; her breasts.
Things were getting wilder and wilder as the months passed. She still hadn't give him her virginity but her body wasn't virgin anymore. But thinking that he was her boyfriend, she always thought it's okay no matter how not okay it was for herself. He kept asking her for any form of sexual acts, if she refused he will slap her arm, throwing things, pushed her into the wall, or threatened her for a blackmail and let the whole school know how dirty she was.
At the end of sophomore year, she did nothing wrong but he was getting close to another girl; her own friend. First she thought it was okay cus her friend is also his friend. But he kept comparing her to that girl. That girl is taller, prettier, smarter, cuter and so on... As insecure she already was, she gave up. She started a fight for the first time, and he fought back. They broke up soon after.
She thought breakup means freedom but she was wrong. She got blackmail. He told their secret to another friend. Thinking that she was still attached to him, but luckily she moved on. His blackmail had no affect to her. And one year later, he and her friend get together and that wasn't new for her.
She was brave enough to fight for herself. She just hating herself for letting him doing things to her body thinking that it was love but it wasn't at all.
Pain isn't love.
Force isn't love.
Threat isn't love.
Sexual abuse isn't love.
She fought for her right.
If it feels wrong, then yes it is
