[do not repost or claim as your own]
Also on insta - @1prax_works1

seen from United States
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seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from Germany
seen from Malaysia
seen from South Korea

seen from United States
seen from China

seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from Germany
seen from Singapore

seen from China
seen from Luxembourg
[do not repost or claim as your own]
Also on insta - @1prax_works1

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Unnamed (Vent)
With wings and crown I curse this pain Iâve endured. Invisible scars cover skin head to toe. Scars that no one notices, the torture I have felt. Iâm frustrated by my own silence, I scream inside my mind. Why canât I speak up, what does it matter you wonât listen. You only prefer my silence yet know nothing of my pain.
I shatter the crown against the wall. Memories of Someoneâs words flood my mind. I look at tear stained pages and toss their words away. All I hear are my own tears and your words of hate. I want to ask for help but I canât. I throw away the parts of me everyone hates. My walls fall in silence, I am fractured and cracked.
I wanted death once yet cling to life. I live with the flaws no one likes and the scars you canât see. I cut my hair trying to find myself. I got good at hiding my wings and broken crown. I donât know what love is, tossed aside by people I trusted. I feel alone stranded by flightlessness. no one sees this pain, no one sees me. I want to reach out but feel trapped. Why wonât someone notice, teach me how to trust, how to fly with scarred wings. With wings, the broken crown, and invisible scars I suffer in silence. I am crushed under the darkness of the past. I wish tears would just wash away but my cheeks stay tear stained.
[So this is a bit of a vent, Iâm not exactly all right at the moment. Iâm sorry if this was upsetting but I just needed to write out how I felt. -Pastel]
Stayed, But Not in Love.
I would rather have a broken family than a toxic family. You can really see through their eyes and actions that they don't love each other anymore. They stayed together because they have to, not because they want to. They have responsibilities that need to be done. But I want them to separate themselves from each other. They are getting so toxic, and it's affecting us. I know we are one of the reasons why we are struggling financially. But they made a decision from the start; they know that they are not stable enough to handle a family, not knowledgeable enough to know what the child might want as a person. Hearing them shouting, arguing, and throwing hurtful words at each other makes me want to end all of the things. It makes me sick and mad that the personalities that I hated the most are slowly becoming who I am. But I don't blame myself for all of this; it is not my choice to be born. I never wanted this. All of this. This becomes the reason why I wanted to pursue psychology; I want to understand why they do those kinds of actions, what made them do that, and why they can't control it, but sadly, it is too ambitious for me to have that kind of dream. If ever God blesses me with a family, I want him/her to have a stable life: financially stable, mentally stable, physically stable, and psychologically stable. Not to have parents who let them hear those unkind words. All I can say is, I want it to END.
there are people who will arrive in your life at the right time to rock your world and set your expectations ablaze
there will be people who will arrive in your life at the worst time to shatter your hope and lower your self worth
there will be those who have never left your life who you wish would. there will be those who have left your life so long ago it feels like yesterday and five years.
noone knows anything ever
you're gonna be okay.
silent
as I sit deadly still
I hear the voices in the hall get louder
and louder as they go down it
until suddenly there's a shouting match in the kitchen
I could go, could try to stop the verbal carnage of the usual saturday squabble
be present for the slamming door and shattering glass
but I stay here, silent

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Inability
TW: Mental Illness, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Death, Suicide, smoking, abuse,Â
This is the first time I am writing directly on to Tumblr instead of Google Drive and then Copy/Paste to Tumblr. Not that it makes much of a difference.
Memories
TW: Mental Illness, PTSD, death, addiction, alcoholism, mentions of uncomfortable topics, bipolar disorder
This one was specifically hard to write, and it deals with very heavy topics
Meltdown
TW: Mental Illness, Violent Outburst, disassociation, feeling numb, smoking, bipolar disorder