Out of my Head

I plan to post mostly short stories that are somewhere between fiction and non-fiction. They tend to be things I struggle with but are not an actual documentation of a day in my life. Though maybe there has been a day that went that way? I usually write them when I’m feeling particularly upset and they can come across rather melodramatic. I don’t reread them. As rereading them defeats the purpose of getting them out of my head in the first place. just let the spelling and grammar tool fix obvious mistakes and then go with it.

I don’t know what my aversion is to relationships. Could be watching my parents have a nasty divorce when I was very young and then have them bad talk each other for about a decade until they finally got along again. Also could be that my mother got remarried to a man who is always angry and when I was young they would fight all the time, now they don’t so much but I can’t tell if that is because they are doing better or if my mom has stopped fighting. Also could be my fathers aversion to long term relationships and marriage, ever since his divorce he has always been outspoken about his hatred for marriage and how he doesn’t need a relationship. Then when he is in a relationship he gives them everything and the women just walk all over him. Then again maybe it’s my own past failures. From the plethora of 1 month max relationships in high school or my one 6 month relationship in high school that ended so badly that I was crying so hard I started to hyperventilate. Maybe the fact that I wasted most of my adult life in relationships that went no where and truly came from no where.