#vent fic

Wind roared in his ears.

Gravel crunched beneath his feet.

Salty air whooshed through his mouth.

He welcomed the harsh sting of the spray against his exposed skin.

Thick grey cloud suffocated the coast, the dark waves battering the shoreline as his feet took him further away from the car. It should’ve been frightening, the forces of nature this early in the morning, daylight barely existing. He only found it comforting. Like the sea and sky were in turmoil right along with him.

He pushed and pushed, sprinting until his legs and chest burned. Almost slipping on the gravel, he stopped himself, hands on his hips as his breath heaved. Tears pricked at his eyes, and acid nausea swirled in his belly.

The crashing of the waves absorbed his guttural scream.

~

Lando woke up to an empty bed.

It wasn’t uncommon. While Osc was a night owl like him, he often found the early morning haze was the perfect time for his run. Lando thought he was a bit mad with that routine sometimes, but the best part of it was when he snuck back into bed. Sometimes without showering.

His stomach rumbled, so he stretched and lazily rolled out of bed, taking his phone with him to the bathroom. Sure enough, there was a message waiting from his boyfriend.

Morning beautiful, gone for a run up the coast. Back soon. Love you ❤️

[05:18]

Sent at five in the morning, much earlier than he usually left. He checked his phone. It was almost half past eight now.

“Osc?” he called out, assuming he was somewhere else in the apartment.

Getting no answer, he ventured out of the bedroom. There was no lingering smell of breakfast, and both bathrooms were bone dry. His running shoes were still missing, as was his water bottle.

Maybe he ended up going for a longer drive. It could be especially nice when there was no one else on the roads.

The overcast sky was clearing up as he opened the balcony doors, the boats in the tiny harbour clinking in the delicious breeze. It hadn’t rained, so at least he wouldn’t have to fuss over Oscar not taking a jacket with him.

He brought up his boyfriend’s contact to give him a ring when the apartment door opened.

“Oh, hey!” Lando greeted. “I was just gonna get started on some breakfast. Anything in particular you fancy?” He started looking through the cupboards and fridge for what they had to use.

Osc didn’t answer, simply trudging over to him and embracing him fiercely. Lando was knocked back a few steps, startled. His boyfriend was tense, cold, and trembling. Maybe he should’ve taken a jacket after all.

“Whoa, hey, everything okay?” he asked, rubbing his back. “You were gone for a lot longer than normal.” He felt Oscar finally melt against him.

“Lost track of time. Didn’t feel so good.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Lando drew back, his hand going straight to Oscar’s forehead. He was pale and didn’t feel hot, but he looked exhausted and didn’t answer. “Go and lie down, yeah? I’ll bring you some soup. Actually, do you want a bath first? I don’t mind doing all the work.”

Oscar turned his head and kissed his hand. “No, just some sleep. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re back safe.” Lando kissed his cheek. “At least change into something warmer, yeah?”

He watched as Osc nodded before he stepped out of his space, looking like his legs carried him automatically, more than him actually consciously walking. Lando frowned as he kept staring at the now-empty doorway. He wished Oscar had woken him up before he left.

There was a growing pit in his stomach as he moved around the kitchen gathering things he needed. They could both be stubborn mules when sick, but something about Osc not complaining made him think it wasn’t physical.

They had nowhere to be all day. Though even if they did, Lando would’ve cancelled it all.

~

He sat on the bed as Oscar spooned himself the chicken soup. He was playing with it more than eating it, but at least he was wearing one of Lando’s hoodies and jogging bottoms. Colour had returned to his face, and he was no longer shaking.

“M’sorry, I can’t eat anymore,” Osc said quietly. He put down the spoon and pushed the tray away.

“You sure?” Lando wanted to hug him. He looked so…distant.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s nice, just can’t stomach it.”

“Don’t worry, baby. Get comfy, and I’ll clear it up.”

He kissed his temple before standing up and grabbing the tray. He’d taken maybe three steps, when:

“Will you come back?”

He turned to see Osc settling under the sheets, sleepy eyes peering up at him. “Of course, honey. I’m not leaving you alone unless you ask me to.”

“Thank you,” he heard faintly as he left the room.

Covering the bowl with cling film and putting it in the fridge, he filled up an extra water bottle for Oscar before heading back to the bedroom.

He leaned against the doorway, taking him in. He’d chucked off the hoodie and bottoms, and curled up with his back to the door. The top of his head was just about visible, his honey brown hair standing out against the white sheets.

Oscar didn’t get like this too often. Mostly, it would be homesickness, a deep longing for his family, his childhood home, and the sights and smells of Melbourne. Leaving so early to try and clear his head would also support that.

He’d had a few days last year, during their championship fight, but those hadn’t been about missing home. He’d been angrier then, more visibly stressed. Sometimes, Lando was glad they weren’t going through that again twice in a row. He’d take an easier season for them both to chill, even if that did mean no more guaranteed wins. Though that was easy for him to say. Oscar probably wouldn’t think that.

When he slipped back under the covers as he’d promised, Osc immediately pillowed his head on his chest. His hair smelled like the sea, and his smooth skin was perfectly warm. Lando kissed his head and traced shapes over his bare back, fingers creeping up into his hair when he kept fidgeting.

He’d happily lie here all week if Oscar needed him to.

~

Time passed weirdly.

He didn’t sleep. Lando’s closeness and warmth helped him sink into the mattress, but the hours ticked on by as he lay there. Not fully present.

When he tried to move to the bathroom, his whole body felt like lead. Stomach in knots, so accepting food was impossible. His head ached dully, nothing water or his boyfriend’s gentle fingers could even touch.

He was grateful for Lando’s presence.

For the soft music playing from his phone.

His body might be in Monaco, but his mind was elsewhere.

On the other side of the globe.

~

Lando was starting to get worried.

Even on the days he encountered homesickness, Oscar would still talk to him. It would usually help to share stories from his childhood and chat about what his sisters were up to.

Last year, he’d tried to keep himself busy, the intense race calendar leaving little room to truly wallow and lose himself. Artturi would take him out for bike rides or training sessions, he’d play padel with Alex, or have lunch with Charles. Then come home to him.

He hadn’t moved from the bed unless to go to the bathroom, and he would cling to Lando every time he tried to leave to bring back food. He should tell someone that his boyfriend was having a bad spell, but at the same time, if it only lasted a day and he perked up tomorrow, Lando would feel awful for tattling. Oscar was capable of seeking out his own team for support, and he didn’t want to overstep.

When he woke up the following morning, and Oscar was still there, clinging to him, yet his eyes were far away, he knew he had to pass it on. To Artturi, at the very least, even if Oscar would be mad at him for it.

Reassuring he was gonna be back with breakfast, he untangled himself from his koala bear and stepped out into the kitchen. He opened Artturi’s contact, but instead, a different urge hit him, and he walked through to the lounge, curling up on one of the sofas. He pressed his phone to his ear, eyes fixed on the photos of Oscar’s family on the bookshelf.

“Hi, my darling! How are you and Oscar doing?”

“Hi, Mum,” he sighed, hating how his voice shook.

She picked up on it immediately. “Talk to me, lieverd. Is it a bad day?”

“Yeah. Osc isn’t leaving the bed. He disappeared for three hours early yesterday morning, and he’s barely said a word since. He’s not eating properly, and he just wants cuddles. I let him have yesterday, but if this keeps going–”

“–You two should come here for a bit. Let us look after him.”

Lando frowned. “I mean, we could. But no offence Mum, if he’s missing his home, I’m not sure how much it’ll help having a different family fuss over him.” He could see Oscar refusing the offer. Being around Lando’s parents and siblings might make his own homesickness worse. It would look like he was playing in his face. Totally unfair.

“Oscar is our family, too, darling. If he’s this upset, maybe some motherly coddling is necessary. I’m sure you can understand how terrible he’s feeling, losing Moeke two years ago. It’s got to be worse for him being so far away.”

His stomach dropped. “Wait, what’s wrong with Nicole?”

“No, no, Lan, Nicole’s father. Oscar’s Bompa.”

“I’m confused.” Lando sat up, eyes flickering to the hallway. “I thought he was just homesick–”

“–Oh darling, did he not tell you? Nicole called me the other day. He was taken to hospital, but it looks like he’s not going to be coming home.”

“Shit.” It explained Oscar’s quiet and clingy behaviour. His need to get out and get lost for a few hours. Grief was something that could be unpredictably overwhelming.

When Lando had lost his Bomma in 2024, it had been before the Belgian Grand Prix, making that race weekend one with a persistent ache in his chest that was still there to this day. He’d been run down and barely functioning, with a bang average performance to show for it.

His family, Oscar, his team, and his friends had all helped comfort him and make the days pass more easily. Then he’d gone back home after the funeral and cried for days.

It wasn’t fair that Oscar was separated from his biggest source of comfort.

“I’ve got flights to book,” he said. “Thanks for the offer to have us, Mum, but I think we need to go a bit further afield.”

~

Lando didn’t come back with breakfast.

He sat on top of the sheets instead of joining him underneath. Instead of cuddling him and providing the safety and comfort he craved. It made his stomach churn. Like he was in trouble. Like his boyfriend was about to tell him to get over himself.

He hadn’t been able to tell him–

Oscar didn’t wanna face it. But he hadn’t been able to pretend everything was fine either. His body betrayed him, lying weighed down into the mattress, stiff and heavy. Crying might have sent Lando the message, but his eyes remained desert dry.

He wasn’t floating but he wasn’t tethered either.

He wanted to burrow himself deeper into the bed.

Lando stroked his hair. Kissed his head. Whispered to him.

“Just wanna let you know that I’ve booked us flights. We’ll need to pack at some point today. I can do it if you don’t wanna, but I think you might wanna be up and about.”

There it was. Lando thought he was useless.

“I don’t wanna go to England, Lando,” he snapped. His stomach screamed at him. He didn’t mean to be nasty.

“We’re going to Melbourne. I’m so sorry about your grandad, baby.”

Breath stuttered in his chest.

He was going home.

His eyes found the monsoon rain.

~

Lando watched as Oscar hugged his sisters goodnight.

He’d spent most of his time so far helping Nicole and Tim while his boyfriend glued himself to his sisters and Basil, the family cocker spaniel. It was what he was here for, as well as not wanting Oscar to fly all this way on his own.

Basil was settled in his lap, clearly wanting to spend the nights on Oscar’s bed while he was here. There was a heaviness all around the house, the anxiety of waiting for the inevitable.

Osc hadn’t slept since they’d arrived, insisting they head straight to the hospital. Lando wasn’t going to tell him no, so he had their driver take them there, then their luggage to the Piastri house. Nicole, Tim, and Hattie had all offered to pick them up, but Oscar had told them no, knowing they’d take him home and force him to try and rest first.

Lando knew he wouldn’t until he’d seen his grandad for himself.

“Goodnight, Lando!” Mae called over to him.

He waved at her with a tired smile. “Goodnight, everyone.”

Each of Oscar’s family members had taken him aside at one point to hug and thank him for bringing their brother or son home, and for being here. Lando had hugged them back and promised that he would help with anything they needed.

Oscar shut the door and flopped down onto the bed beside him. Basil whined, moving to lick his face.

“Bet you’re so confused having me back so early,” he giggled. “Just a warning though, Baz, Lan tends to kick in his sleep.”

“I do not!”

He watched as Osc played with Basil, while he messaged his parents to update them. There was around a ten-hour time difference, so it was still the middle of the day back home. He had slept on the flights over, but his back was ready for proper sleep in a comfortable bed again.

“Baz, stay,” Osc commanded as he stood up. “Time to get ready for bed.”

Lando stripped off his hoodie. It was autumn here, the trees outside gorgeous shades of amber and gold. While it was warmer than back in the UK, hoodies still felt the most comfortable. Certainly the most comforting. He and Oscar had swapped without even meaning to. Well, maybe his boyfriend had meant to.

He kept his eyes on Oscar as they both stripped down. His movement was slower, and he was fighting back constant yawns. They’d be up first thing in the morning to go back to the hospital, so the earlier they tried to settle down, the better. He hoped Oscar would sleep anyway.

“Where do you want me?” he asked.

Osc frowned at him. “Well, in the bed, obviously.”

He rolled his eyes. “I meant which position, you muppet. On my back, on my side, behind you, in front of you, I dunno.” He shrugged. It was Oscar’s childhood bed. He felt like he was overstepping, just diving in and arranging himself as he did at home.

“Just how we normally do, I wanna cuddle.”

“Okay,” he nodded.

Basil moved out of the way as he slid in, Osc joining him not long after, directing his dog where to settle by their feet. His boyfriend got himself comfy where he wanted, his head over Lando’s heart. His fingers carded through his hair, the other gently stroking his back.

“Thank you for this,” Oscar whispered. “For bringing me, for being here. It means everything.”

Lando kissed his head. “I told you I wasn’t leaving you alone unless you asked me to.”

“Does it ever get better? The pain?” His heart broke at the words, Oscar’s voice cracking.

“In time. The pain means he’s loved, and that’s a good thing. He’ll always be with you in tiny ways. Something reminds you, and you’ll think of him.” Lando thought about his grandma, how random things brought her to mind. Her favourite ice cream sundae, the smell of the woods, and market stalls with designs that echoed her wallpaper.

Oscar shook beneath him, and he felt wet drops hit his bare skin, and Basil whined softly.

“It’s okay, honey. Let it all out.”

He held Oscar through the sobs.

Through the devastation.

Then through the aftermath, when Osc screamed at the waves.

~

Translations:

Lieverd – Darling/Sweetheart

Moeke – Mother

Bompa – Flemish endearment for Grandad

“I’m sorry,” Mihawk grabbed you by your face, “I don’t remember where I said in that to provide feedback with the most insolent of tones.  Now, you’re going to try that again with, ‘yes, Mihawk’ and we’ll move on with our day.  Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

All of a sudden, you started to remember why you hated being with Akainu.  Other than the obvious reasons.  But you hated the schedule he kept you on.  The rigid structure with no room for any flexibility.  It drove you insane.  And all of a sudden, you felt the strong urge to punch Mihawk’s face.  Your fist acted on its own, but your wrist ended up caught and pinned down to the mattress, “Ow…Let go of me!”

“I understand you’ve been through some things no other person ever should have,” Mihawk got in your ear, “So, I will grant you some grace.  However, if you ever get that far out of line with me again, we’re going to have a problem.  Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Mihawk,” you went into full survival mode.  It was better to do whatever he asked for than to be slaughtered in your current bed. 

“Very good,” Mihawk praised, letting your face go.  But then, in a strange twist of events, he sat at your bedside.  He gently petted your bedhead down.  If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was trying to apologize, “I’m sorry if I frightened you, darling.  That came out a little stronger than I anticipated it would.  I didn’t bring upon a panic attack for you or anything of the like, did I?”

“No…” You were lying.  Of course, you were lying.  You didn’t want to put Mihawk out or make him feel guilty for anything.  That was one of those things you knew came from your time with Akainu.  It wasn’t your favorite thing, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there, “If I can be honest…”

“Please,” Mihawk insisted, “Go ahead.”

“It mostly just pissed me off a little,” you did your best to sit up in bed, but for whatever reason, everything was sore, “But for the most part, we’re good.  I’m over it now.  But I need to still be human for a second, Mihawk.  Can I at least have that?  I remember being woken up by the horns in the morning that would wake up the cadets.  And it’s been nice not having to wake up to that since I’ve been away from the base.  Just…I need a minute.”

Mihawk didn’t like deviations from his schedule.  But he also knew he had two others to roust out of bed, “Here’s what I’ll do.  I’m going to go wake Zoro and Perona.  You go ahead and get a few extra minutes.  And while you’re here, I’ll make sure to wake you last.  Alright?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Mihawk got up from the edge of the bed and left you alone.  But not without stopping in the doorway, “But when I come back, you will be more compliant to the house rules.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mihawk.” You may have been maliciously compliant, but compliance was compliance in Mihawk’s eyes.

“Cheeky…” Mihawk may have tried to force it back, but you saw it.  You saw that little smile on his face.  And it warmed you inside.  But you also had another thought.  Did Mihawk adhere the same strict schedule to Crocodile, too?  At least while he was staying here?  There were some blanks you needed filled in.  Including one Mihawk promised you the night before.  You shared your story.  It was time he shared his. 

By the time Mihawk came back around for you, you were already dressed in whatever you could find.  In this case, it looked like a ball gown, only a bit shorter.  Instead of it hitting the floor, it hit you at your knees.  And you weren’t mad about it.  It was very lolita style.  Something you could only assume came from Perona.  You got a good look at yourself in the mirror and appreciated the soft purple against the harsh black lace.  After a quick spin you were downstairs and helped yourself to a cup of coffee. 

“Morning,” a very tired, very grumbly voice joined you.  One you had heard last night, but you weren’t expecting to already hear this morning.  Especially as friendly as it sounded. 

“Good morning,” you immediately straightened up, though.  A man’s voice had that unfortunate effect on you, “Are you alright, Zoro?”

“Long night,” Zoro admitted, sitting down at the table.  Even though there was no breakfast made.  He frowned, “Where’s breakfast?”

“I don’t think there is any yet.”

“What the hell, Mihawk?” Zoro got up and started to scrounge for something to eat.  Instead, he found a bottle of cooking wine and it was enough for him to smile, “There we go.  Even if he just cooks with it, there’s no way in hell Mihawk’s not using the good shit.”

“Zoro, drop it,” Mihawk stopped him with Perona in tow, “That’s not for you.  That’s for cooking only and you know better.”

“You sound like the damn cook…” Zoro mumbled to himself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Very good,” Mihawk let it go.  Despite the fact that he heard everything.  He knew what Zoro said.  And you were starting to get the vibe that Zoro was a little bit of an alcoholic.  Which would also explain his morning vibe.  That smelled like a hangover.

“What’s for breakfast, Mihawk?” Perona wasn’t exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed either.  But you didn’t think hers was a hangover.  That was just general tiredness. 

“I haven’t decided yet,” Mihawk leaned over the counter, “I was thinking we’d leave that to the guest.”

“Pick something good, Y/N,” Perona laid her head on her arm, “I’m not starting my morning off with a shitty breakfast.  I deserve better than that.”

“Oh…” you were nervous about the sudden attention and pressure on your shoulders.  Sure, it was just breakfast.  It was just a decision.  And yet, your entire body tensed up, “Um…”

“Any time now,” Perona rolled her eyes, “Some of us are hungry.”

“Perona,” Mihawk snapped at her.  He had a little better understanding of why you were the way you were.  More so than Perona did.  And yet you did your best to hold yourself together.  To figure out something you might want for breakfast.  But then again, you had three other people to think about.  Four, if Crocodile would grace you with his presence.

That’s when it just came out of your mouth, “I want the special toast and the cappuccino Sanji made for me in Kamabakka Kingdom!”

And the room went quiet.  Your hands went over your mouth.  And you wanted nothing more than to slide under the table and not come out for a while.  Maybe not ever.  Maybe in a few years when Akainu has forgotten all about you.  When Mihawk, Zoro, and Perona have forgotten all about you.  You just wanted some quiet and some time alone.  Somewhere you could pretend like nothing happened.

“Y/N,” Zoro nudged you with the toe of his shoe, “You good?”

You shook your head.

“So,” Zoro asked, doing his best to divert the attention, “What did curly brows do to this toast that made it so special?”

“I’m not sure,” you admitted, “Maybe because he made it at 2AM and I was starving.”

“Show me how he did it, Y/N,” Mihawk insisted, letting you take over the kitchen.  Because of course, no one knew what you were talking about. 

You remembered watching Sanji make your toast for you.  The butter in the pan.  The thickness of the bread he cut.  You let the butter melt in the pan.  You let your bread toast up.  The outside nice and golden, but the inside still soft.  And the butter soaked into the bread.  You checked Mihawk’s pantry for some semblance of jam and unfortunately, you couldn’t find any blackberry.  You would’ve thought in a place like Kuraigana Island, blackberry would be the staple.  But instead, you found raspberry.  You could do raspberry.  And cream cheese.  You needed cream cheese, too.  And that’s when you brought it all together.  Sure, it lacked Sanji’s flare and finesse, but you weren’t mad about it.  You got your breakfast.  You didn’t have to put anyone out for it.  This was fine.  This was ok.

“That’s it?” Perona looked at the toast on your plate, a little underwhelmed. 

“That’s it,” you nodded, “I mean, I can make more if that’s not enough.”

“Y/N, sit down,” Mihawk demanded, “Relax.”

“No,” you insisted, scrambling to the loaf of bread and the serrated knife again, “It’s alright.  I can make more.  It’s bad enough I’m here.  The least I can do is-"

“Y/N, enough,” Mihawk’s voice was commanding.  Almost angry.  And its timbre shook you to your core.  You immediately stiffened up with the knife in your hand.  And very slowly, he pried it from your fingers, “I said to sit down and relax for a bit.  It’s alright.  I understand what you’re trying to do.  And I understand how the overly horny cook that Zoro makes googly eyes at when he thinks no one’s looking made breakfast for you.  You told me what you had gone through last night and I seem to remember Akainu.”

“Yuck…” Crocodile’s tired feet came shuffling into the kitchen.  And you really weren’t expecting to see Crocodile already this morning either, “Why are we talking about that piece of shit?”

“You know Akainu?” Zoro asked.

“I was a Warlord for years,” Crocodile sat down at the table, stealing the newspaper, “Yes.  I had the unfortunate honor of knowing Akainu.  He’s a poor excuse for a human being.  Hell of a guy to scam playing cards when he’s drunk, though.  I don’t think you know this, Y/N, but at one point, I almost had you for a night.”

“He fucking bet me in a card game?!” you snapped out of your catatonic haze Mihawk put you in and went into full rage instead.

“In hindsight, yeah,” Crocodile lit up his cigar, “I had his pockets damn near empty at a New Year’s party.  He said that he could offer me the best fuck I’d ever have in my life from a pretty girl.  And I ended up folding.  Not that women aren’t great, but they’re not really my thing.”

“You’re not into cheap sluts like me,” you teased him, “If you were at that party, you were more interested in a certain Marine than anyone else.”

“I sure was,” Crocodile cracked a little smile, “Damn, that was a good ride…That doesn’t mean you have the right to bring that shit up, Y/N.  That was dirty.”

“Nor are you a cheap slut,” Mihawk added, shooting a glare your direction, “You were trafficked.  That doesn’t make you a cheap slut.”

“Any idea who was heading up that trade?” Crocodile wondered, shaking out the newspaper.

“Doflamingo,” you told him.

“Another Warlord?” Crocodile chuckled under his breath, noticing a familiar face on one of the new wanted posters, “Aren’t you well connected?”

“I wouldn’t call it being well connected,” you gagged, taking your toast back to the table, “I’d call my parents greedy and Doflamingo a vile monster.”

“You’re not wrong,” Mihawk agreed, “Doflamingo is a well documented sadist.”

“Where’s he live?” Zoro chimed in, “I bet I could cut him down.”

“Settle down, junior,” Mihawk hushed him, “You’re lucky if you can take on a dozen gorillas in the forest.  With the people Doflamingo surrounds himself with?  You wouldn’t even be able to get a look at his shoes, let alone cut him down.”

“I probably could,” Zoro pouted a bit, “If he were a real man, he’d face me himself and not just send out his flunkies to take me out.  But I guess I’d need a warm up.”

“Oh, Zoro…” Mihawk clutched his chest, “So innocent.  So naïve.  You remind me of myself at that age.  So precious.”

“Fuck off…”

“Just out of curiosity,” Crocodile kept looking at that wanted poster behind the newspaper, “How much did you end up going for?”

“Who the fuck asks that?!” Mihawk snapped at him.

“What is wrong with you?” Perona wasn’t too far behind.  Granted, you hadn’t gotten to know Perona much, but you appreciated the solidarity. 

“They traded me away for devil fruits,” you settled that curiosity.  At the end of the day, it was your story to tell.  And no one was going to tell you if you could or couldn’t tell it.  If you kept it to yourself, that just meant giving it power over you.  And you weren’t going to do that.  Not anymore, “And I’m not sure how much money Doflamingo got for me after the auction, but I hope my parents have met the wrath of Mother Ocean and are now at the bottom.  They deserve it for what they did.  And what it ended up putting me through.”

“Well…” Crocodile showed off that new, pretty wanted poster.  And the number on the bottom, “Says here you’re worth at least two hundred million berries.  So…I’m thinking that was your starting bid.”

“Gross…” Perona moved closer to you, “I’m so sorry, Y/N.  But at least you’re here with us now.  And that disgusting pig Akainu can’t get to you here.  Even if he were to knock on Mihawk’s doorstep, he’s still protected.  Aren’t you, Mihawk?”

“Yes,” Mihawk nodded, “Even if they have probable cause to search my castle, they still can’t.  Even if they have a warrant, they still can’t.  If it’s life and death, then yes, they’ll be able to.  But if it’s just for, say, a person, regardless of how dangerous they are, they can’t search my castle.  So, please, Y/N, I encourage you to walk freely.”

“Thank you…” That was comforting.  You could rest a lot easier knowing you were, oddly enough, protected by the World Government.  No.  You knew better.  The World Government wasn’t the one protecting you.  Mihawk was. 

“It’s not just you,” Mihawk pointed out, “I also have an escaped convict of Impel Down in my castle, along with a member of the Strawhat Pirates.  I’d hate for the Navy to come and take either of them away, too.”

“What about me?” Perona squeaked, “I was part of a pirate crew, too!  Moria made sure I was taken care of!”

“Moria isn’t here, is he?” Mihawk scoffed, his eyes rolling a bit. 

You thought back a bit.  Moria.  The name sounded familiar.  You knew it had to be Gecko Moria.  You weren’t exactly his biggest fan.  He made your skin crawl every time he’d be around with Akainu.  His vibe was off.  It had always been off to you.  Because he’d look at you.  He’d look at you in a way that always just…didn’t feel right.  Like he was quietly taking your measurements without having to use a tape.  And he could tell you.  You had no doubt that Moria knew your measurements.  And to hear Perona talk about him fondly made your stomach turn.  You didn’t understand how anyone could. 

“Now that you’ve had breakfast, dear,” Mihawk moved on, “I highly suggest you spend a little quality time in the study today.”

“The study?” you didn’t even know where the study was.  Unless it was the library you and Mihawk shared a drink the night before, “Why?”

“Because,” Mihawk suggested, “If you’re going to be living here, I need you to at least be educated.  It’s bad enough I’ve had to teach Zoro to read.”

“I knew how to read when I got here!” Zoro squeaked.

“I watched you write your own name with a backwards Z,” Mihawk blinked at him, “You cannot tell me that when you landed here, you knew how to read.”

“I hit my head when that bear paw guy sent me here,” Zoro argued, his hand on the hilt of his sword.

“Unless you plan on drawing blood,” Mihawk warned him, “I suggest taking your hand off that hilt.  You didn’t need to know how to read.  You were a swordsman.  You were a bounty hunter.  You just needed to know who you were bringing in.”

“I didn’t care about names,” Zoro brushed him off, “I had a face and a number.  That’s all that mattered.”

“Because you didn’t know how to read what their names were,” Mihawk retaliated, “Imagine how many more pirates you would’ve brought in while you were bounty hunting if you could hear conversations and know what names to listen for.”

“How?” Crocodile held his face in his hands, “How in the hell did Luffy get mixed up with you?”

“Cut me down from a cross in a marine base’s yard,” Zoro remembered it fondly, “What can I say?  The little shit was crazy and he had me curious.  I wanted to see what would happen if he actually became king of the pirates.  So, I’m doing everything in my power to make sure he lives to see that goal through.”

“Admirable,” Crocodile wasn’t going to push much further.  And you appreciated that about him.

“Luffy?” you perked up at his name, “You know Luffy, too?”

“There isn’t anyone in this room that hasn’t crossed paths with Luffy at least once,” Crocodile folded the paper back up.

“Present company included,” Mihawk shot you a little wink.

“That’s right,” you confirmed, “I’ve met Luffy, too.”

“And?” Crocodile blew out a cloud of smoke, “Thoughts?”

“He’s a lot,” you admitted, “But he’s got a good heart.  And I can understand why you’d follow him to the ends of the earth, Zoro.  I hope he does become king of the pirates one day.  If he did, I’d be happy to follow him, too.”

“So,” Perona wondered, “Are you a pirate, Y/N?”

“No,” you shook your head, “More of just an escapee from the Navy for now.  We’ll see about piracy later.”

“You escaped the Navy?” Perona wasn’t sure what to think of you.  It’s not like you two were best friends yet.  You didn’t even know if you were going to end up being friends with Perona.  But for the sake of keeping the peace, you hoped you would.

“I escaped an Admiral,” you clarified, “I escaped Akainu and being his sex slave.  He’s disgusting and I wish him nothing but bad things in life.”

“Oh, yuck,” Perona cringed, taking your hand, “Come with me.  We’re going to make that all better.”

“Does it involve a can of lighter fluid and a match?”

“Not going to work, sweetheart,” Crocodile chimed in, “Akainu’s a logia type.”

“Then, I mix the lighter fluid with sea water and hope for the best,” you decided, “There.  Solved it.  Everyone goes home feeling a little better.  Especially me.”

“Still probably not going to work.”

“Well, shit.”

“No,” Perona kept her hold on you, “Better.  Mihawk, can I play with our new toy for the day?”

“If you feel you must,” Mihawk allowed, “And it keeps you out of my hair for the day.  Besides, I’ll be busy all day anyway, Y/N.  Is that alright?  Would you like to go run off with Perona?”

“I guess so,” you didn’t really see anything else for you to do.  Although, you wouldn’t have minded a day in the study either.

“This is going to be so much better than being stuck in some boring, stuffy library anyway,” Perona squeaked, “Come on!”

You quickly learned that Perona was a very excitable creature.  You weren’t mad about it, though.  You didn’t know what Perona had planned, but you knew one thing for certain.  A good, hot bath would hit the spot.  A good, hot bath on Amazon Lily would’ve been the ideal, but unfortunately, you couldn’t leave Kuraigana Island.  You probably could, but it’s not like you had a way to do so.  You weren’t stealing any boats from Mihawk.  There was only one at the dock when Rayleigh brought you in.

However, that wasn’t going to stop Perona.  There were two now.  Two ships sat docked off the shore.  And you could only assume one of them was Mihawk’s.  The other had to be Crocodile’s.  Unless it was Zoro’s, but you knew better.  Luffy said that they had a ship.  And you didn’t see Zoro as…Well…Directionally competent.  Still, you were curious as to what Perona was doing by bringing you down to the docks.

“Come on,” Perona hopped on Mihawk’s boat, “Before he realizes we’re gone.”

“Perona, where are we going?” you started to sweat.  You didn’t know if she could entirely be trusted.  You didn’t know if it was safe for you to leave. 

“There’s an island about ten clicks away,” Perona explained, “Shopping is excellent.  The food is fantastic.  The vibes are immaculate.  Let’s go have some fun.”

But then…Your fun was promptly brought to an end while a giant ship started to pull up to the island.  And without another thought, you went into hiding.  You weren’t going to deal with whoever was on that ship.  You didn’t know who was on that ship.  You knew you just didn’t want to go back to where you were.  You had come too far. 

“You’re Mihawk’s little ghost princess, right?” a familiar voice made its way to your ears.  And from your hiding spot in the tree, you tried to see if the voice and the face matched in your head, “Hold on…You were working under Moria at one time, too, weren’t you?”

“Until Kuma pimp slapped me into the most depressing castle I’ve ever been to,” Perona groaned, “Lucky me, right?  But yeah.  That’s me.  Does he know you’re coming?”

“He should.  You seem nervous.  Is there something I should know?”

“Nope,” Perona kept you a secret.  Not that you needed to be kept hidden from her.

You were quick to jump down from the tree and jump into her arms.  But you were instantly shoved to the ground, “Who do you think you are, touching me?!”

“Hancock…” your voice broke.  And you did your best to not start crying. 

“Y/N…” she let out a soft gasp, finally realizing who you were.  And she scooped you up in her arms and hugged you so tight, you thought your eyes were going to pop out of your head, “Oh, Y/N, darling, I’m so sorry!  I didn’t realize that was you!  Please forgive me!”

“Of course,” you buried your face in her shoulder.

“Uh…” Perona looked on in confusion, “Should I leave?  Should I let you two have a moment alone?”

“It’s alright, Perona,” you assured her, “Everything’s fine.  It’s just…I haven’t seen my sister in so long.  It’s nice to have her back.”

“Your sister?” Perona let out a little gasp, “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Hancock cradled you against her chest, “As much as I’m here to see Mihawk, you and I certainly need to catch up, too.  Come on.  Let’s go up to the castle.”

“Ok,” you weren’t going to tell her no.  But you were curious, “Hancock?”

“Yes, Y/N,” Hancock asked, “What is it, sweetheart?”

“Did you bring Marigold and Sandersonia, too?” you wondered.

“No,” Hancock shook her head, “It’s just me.  I’m here to pick up Mihawk for our meeting.  If you’d like, Y/N, we can take you along with us.”

“Are you nuts?” you shot that down before it could materialize into anything, “You really want me to go to a meeting with you and Mihawk with the World Government?  When there are probably going to be members of the Navy there?  Who would probably recognize me?  And would probably think, gee, you know what I should do?  Let’s send her back to Akainu.  I’m sure that’ll make everything better.  No, thank you.”

“A simple no would’ve sufficed,” Hancock scoffed, “Perona, dear, you’re still with us, aren’t you?”

“I’m still here,” Perona chimed in, “Unless you want me to take your bags for you, too.”

“Actually, that’d be wonderful,” Hancock insisted, “Thank you.  That’s very kind of you.”

“I was joking!” Perona snapped, “I’m not a fucking bellhop!”

“So, Y/N,” Hancock kept an arm around you, “How have you been?  My brother’s been keeping you comfortable, hasn’t he?”

“Mmhm,” you nodded, “Things with Mihawk and me are fine.  I haven’t really gotten to know Zoro yet and I think things with Crocodile and me are ok.”

“Crocodile?” Hancock perked up, “Since when has he been here?”

“By the sounds of things,” you explained, “He lives here, too.  But I don’t think it’s all the time.  Why?”

“Crocodile is a very special interest on Amazon Lily,” Hancock’s face fell, “That’s something you’d have to talk to Granny Nyon about.  She knows more about it than I do.  Unless you wanted to talk to Crocodile about it directly, but I wouldn’t exactly advise something like that.  I mean, we weren’t going to stop him, but when I saw him pop up at my first Warlord meeting, I knew that face looked too familiar.  It doesn’t matter how much work he had done.  I would know that face.”

“Crocodile?” You hardly knew the man, but it did get you curious.  You wanted to sit down and talk with him anyway.  You had a strange vibe from him the second you two met.  There was something different about him.  Different than any of the other Warlords you’ve met. 

“Crocodile,” Hancock nodded, pushing the castle door open, “That’s a conversation for you two to have alone, though.  I don’t think many are privy to that knowledge.  And you may need to tiptoe.”

“Ok.”

Hancock took in a deep breath, hoping her projection would reach, “MIHAWK!”

“Love of God, woman…” Mihawk cringed, making his way down the stairs, “It’s not like I was far.”

“Hello, Mihawk,” Hancock stole a quick kiss on his cheek, “Always a pleasure to see you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” Mihawk admitted, earning him a heavy handed swat from his sister, “Ow…That was a joke, you bitch.”

“Love you, too,” Hancock rolled her eyes, “You’re just jealous that Mommy and Daddy love me more than you.  They chose me.”

“They kept you from being sex trafficked,” Mihawk brushed her off, “They didn’t choose you.  They chose their conscience.”

“I wish they would’ve gotten to me a little earlier,” you chimed in, “Then, I wouldn’t have been sex trafficked to an Admiral and I could still have a relatively normal life.”

Things went quiet after that.  You weren’t expecting it to make it awkward and uncomfortable, but it certainly was awkward and uncomfortable.  You meant that to come off as a dark joke, but it was a little too dark for the crowd you had in front of you.  Even Perona came up to you, taking your hand in hers.

“Y/N,” she winced, “Are you ok?  Do you need us to call someone for you?”

“Who would you call, Perona?” you shrugged, “Couldn’t call the Navy.  One of their higher ups is involved.  Who are they going to believe, their Admiral or his whore?  Smart money’s on their Admiral.”

Hancock didn’t think twice about pulling you back into her arms, “I wish Rayleigh and Shakky got to you first, too, Y/N.  Not everyone gets lucky enough to be in my situation.  I never thought I’d see the day where I’d call myself lucky being in my situation.  But they did get to you eventually.”

“Even if they brought you here,” Mihawk pointed out, “Well…One of them brought you here.”

“You don’t understand, Mihawk,” Hancock took Rayleigh and Shakky’s side, “You don’t understand why they did what they did.  And you’re too deeply wrapped in mommy and daddy issues that you refuse to let any of them go.  And you don’t realize what happened after they gave you up.”

“By all means, Hancock,” Mihawk insisted, his voice dripping in sarcasm, “Would you like to air out all of the family’s dirty laundry?  Please.  Be my guest.”

“Maybe we should take this somewhere else,” you suggested, “Mihawk, you did say you would tell me the story in the morning…”

“I did,” Mihawk confirmed, “And I’m nothing if not a man of my word.  I just didn’t expect to tell the story with my sister here.”

“I’ve never even heard the full story,” Hancock let out a heavy sigh, “But I suppose it’s time I do, isn’t it?”

“Fine,” Mihawk agreed, albeit reluctant, “Zoro!”

“Hmm?” Zoro woke up from his half nap on the stairs, “What?”

“You’re going out to fight more gorillas,” Mihawk ordered, “Don’t come back inside until there’s a hundred of them down.  Perona, go oversee his training for the day.”

“Aww…” Perona whined, “I wanted to hear all about the sad tragedy that is your life, too.”

“Too bad,” Mihawk shooed them both off, “Come with me.”

Because Mihawk wasn’t going to tell the sad, tragic tale of his life without a little liquid assistance.  He brought Hancock and you up the stairs and into the drawing room and got himself a bottle of wine.  It was a nice vintage, too.  You were a little jealous.  A part of you wanted to ask him for a glass, but you weren’t going to do that.  You had a feeling this was going to be a hard pill to swallow.  For all involved.

“So,” Hancock sat down, “Hitting the bottle early?”

“I didn’t ask for your judgment, dear sister,” Mihawk hushed her, pouring his wine, “Y/N, are you sure you want to hear this?  Because there’s a chance it may skew your thoughts on your saviors a bit.”

“I’m sure,” you assured him, “But can I ask you a favor?”

“Because explaining my childhood isn’t enough for you?”

“It’s not that at all,” you clarified, “It’s that if it gets to be too difficult for you to tell, stop telling it.  I understand what it’s like to have that tragedy hanging over your head and I know you wouldn’t force me to overexert myself.  I won’t force you either.”

“Really?” Mihawk looked at you strangely.  You weren’t sure if it was a look of contempt or one of heartache, but you held your ground, hoping things wouldn’t get messy, “That’s…Actually very kind of you, Y/N.  Thank you.  But as tragic of a tale as it is, it doesn’t do me any good to keep it to myself.  Keeping that inside is like a slow acting poison.  Not that I don’t have immunity to a few of those, but I stand by what I said.”

“Then, instead of rambling,” Hancock insisted, “Why don’t you get to the point?”

“Fine,” Mihawk glared her down.  But then, he turned his attention back to you.  And his expression softened, “It started when Shakky got pregnant.  She wasn’t supposed to get pregnant.  Certainly not by some man and certainly not by some pirate.  However, her heart got the better of her.  Love sickness fell over her.  And she ended up getting pregnant anyway.  It wasn’t something worth exile in the eyes of Amazon Lily, but she couldn’t give birth there.  She could live out her pregnancy there, but she could not give birth on Amazon Lily.  If the child was a girl, then she could return.  But alas, I’m quite positive I’m not a girl.”

“Not in the slightest,” Hancock confirmed.

“When did you see me naked?” Mihawk let out a little gasp.

“Oh, please,” Hancock scoffed, “Like I never saw you at Warlord parties with your pet pirate on his leash.  You think I didn’t see that?  You think I didn’t go looking for you and happen to walk in on you two in the throes of passion?  Mihawk, be honest with yourself.  Of course, I’ve seen you naked.”

“Hold on, hold on,” you slowed things down, “What was that?”

“Not important.”

“Y/N,” Hancock smirked, “Are you familiar with the name Red Haired Shanks…?”

“The name sounds familiar,” you thought back to the wanted posters hanging up at G2.  You were pretty sure you saw one there that said Red Haired Shanks on it.  And if you were remembering correctly, he wasn’t too hard on the eyes.  More importantly, you remembered Mihawk mentioning him the night before.  Something about a lost love from the West Blue, “Why?”

“No reason,” Hancock shot a smirk Mihawk’s way, “Unless someone wants to explain.”

“Not particularly,” Mihawk pouted a bit, “That was dirty, Hancock, and you know it.”

“I’m going to take a wild guess here,” you thought, “Did you and Shanks have something going on, Hancock?”

“What?” Hancock laughed hysterically, “No.  No, no, no.  Of course not.  Besides, I know for a fact that he’s not interested in me.  And I couldn’t do that to my own brother.  That’d just be cruel.”

“Oh,” you didn’t know which way Mihawk swung, but you had to admire his taste. 

“He’s fun for a night or two,” Mihawk confessed, “But after that…It’s like when you were a child and thought having ice cream for every meal would’ve been the dream.  Until your insides are crying for real food and you don’t understand why your stomach is constantly in pain.  Once in a while, though…When the nights are cold, he definitely does well in a pinch.”

“In a pinch,” Hancock mocked him, “Sure.  That’s what it is.”

“Anyway,” you brought the story back to where it was supposed to be, “So, Shakky can’t give birth on Amazon Lily.”

“That’s right,” Mihawk went on, “And after she did give birth, she had a son.  And it was either stay with her son or return to Amazon Lily.  Oddly enough, she didn’t do either one.”

“But there’s a part of the story you don’t know, Mihawk,” Hancock stepped in, “A part that Shakky’s told me personally.”

“Oh?” Mihawk looked at his sister strangely, “And what, pray tell, is that?”

“You were everything to her,” Hancock stared down at the table, “She didn’t want to give you up.  But she knew that with Roger’s notoriety and Rayleigh’s notoriety and her own on top of that…”

“It would’ve put a target on your back,” Crocodile walked in, “Sorry.  I was eavesdropping in the hallway.  Curiosity got the better of me.”

“And,” Mihawk cocked his head, “How would you know that’s what she was going to say, Crocodile?”

“How else?” Crocodile pulled up a seat, “I know how hard it is to look into your baby’s eyes…To see that little smile that just lights the world up…To look down and see the sun…Only for you to have to give him up because of who you are.  Because of what you are.  It’s not a decision that anyone wants to make.  It’s not one that anyone who does have to go through the hell of making it makes lightly.  You can only hope that wherever you leave the baby takes the best care of him.  And that he grows up healthy, strong…Not an ass like his father.”

“You have a kid, Crocodile?” Hancock scratched her head, just as lost as everyone else in the room.  His words were absolutely right.  They couldn’t have been pulled out of Hancock’s mouth better.  They were practically the ones Shakky herself had used. 

“One,” Crocodile admitted, “Yeah.  And I hope like hell every day he didn’t turn out to be an ass like his father.  Well…He didn’t.  I can say that from firsthand experience.  He definitely didn’t turn out to be an ass like his father…But he does have that man’s spirit.  Goddamn…It’s almost annoying.  But as much as it sucked, it was good to see him again.  Maybe under better circumstances, we can explain everything, but today is not that day.  I don’t know what’s gone down between you and Shakky and Rayleigh, Mihawk, but please…All I ask is that you don’t resent her for giving you up.”

“And…” Mihawk thought long and hard for a moment or two, “You’ve seen this child recently?”

“Yes,” Crocodile nodded, “Does the kid know who I am in relation to him?  No.  He has no idea.  But right now, it’s for the best that he doesn’t know who I am.  He’s going through enough these days.  He doesn’t need that bombshell, too.”

“Huh…” Mihawk smirked a bit, “I think I might have an inkling as to who our mystery baby is.”

“We were talking about you, not me,” Crocodile shot that down immediately.  You weren’t going to ask.  You figured it was sensitive.  And not all things were meant to come to light, “All I ask is that you don’t hold too much against Shakky.  I’m sure she had her reasons.  And that notoriety is definitely a good one.”

“I’ll think about that next time I see her,” Mihawk decided, “But I won’t say anything to the little one, though.”

“Thank you.”

“Now,” Mihawk let out a little sigh, “Where were we?”

“Amazon Lily,” you brought it back, “Just after Shakky gave birth to you.”

“I ended up being left on the doorstep of a nunnery,” Mihawk remembered, “Never was one much for religion myself.  I suppose we all come from somewhere, but I feel as if that’s just one of life’s greatest mysteries meant to remain mysterious.”

“But that doesn’t stop you from using the imagery,” you pointed out, “I mean…Not for nothing, Mihawk, but when I first came here, that’s all I could think of.  This castle feels like it was an old church at some point.”

“It probably was,” Mihawk agreed, “I wouldn’t know.  I’ve only had this place for the last few years.  I didn’t want to live like a nomad anymore and I wanted somewhere a little more permanent to hoard my treasure that the World Government doesn’t know about.  I’m sure you understand.”

“The World Government has already taken all of my treasure,” you reminded him, “What more can they take from me?  Sure, I’d love somewhere I could call home on a more permanent basis, but the Navy has ran me out of every place I’ve considered since I’ve left.”

“I would love to take you back with me to Amazon Lily with me, Y/N,” Hancock clutched her chest, “Truly, I would.  I’d be happy to make you an honorary princess of Amazon Lily.  If you’d have us.”

“I’d love to,” you admitted, “But I don’t think I’m meant for permanence.”

“I think I know somewhere you could go,” Crocodile chimed in, “I know it’s not ideal, but there’s a family in Alabasta.  The daughter’s a sucker for a sob story.  She’d probably take you in with no questions asked in a heartbeat.”

“This wouldn’t be the royal family,” Mihawk assumed, “Would it?”

“The very same,” Crocodile nodded, “Princess Vivi has a warm heart.  Too warm for her own good, but she’d definitely take you in, too, Y/N.  In case you needed another place to run.  I could take you there if you’re interested.”

Of course, the thought of going to Alabasta sounded nice.  Going to live with the royal family of Alabasta seemed excessive, but then again, you had stayed with a dark king, a former queen, a current queen, and two warlords.  What’s the royal family of Alabasta?  I’m sure that would’ve been more than ok. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you smiled.  However, your mind thought better, “But how do I know you’re not going to send me to the Navy?”

“Do you really think I’d do something like that?” Crocodile gasped, “Y/N, I’m hurt.”

“And my paranoia’s going to end up saving my life one day,” you stood your ground, “These days, there’s no such thing as me being too careful.  The only reason I trusted everyone else up to this point is because of Rayleigh.  I knew I could trust Rayleigh from the day I met him.  Shakky, too.  When Shakky took me behind the bar to keep the Marines from finding me, I knew I could trust her.  When I met you, Hancock, it wasn’t as immediate.”

“Really?” Hancock awed, “Why not?  I’m sure you trust me now.”

“Of course, I do,” you agreed, “Because you’ve kept me safe from the Navy, too.  You sent Granny Nyon to make sure I didn’t go out the front door when I had to leave.  And you had already called Rayleigh and Shakky to get me, right?”

“That, I did,” Hancock confirmed, “That was…not a fun day.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you shuddered.  The first place you had been able to call home in so long and you had to be ripped away from it, “But then, I had to go to Iva.”

“Iva?” Crocodile perked up, “You mean, you were staying with Ivankov?”

“Before I came here, yeah.” You missed Momoiro Island.  You missed the Kamabakka Kingdom.  You missed Iva and the girls and Sanji, too.  You missed feeling at home.  But alas, there you were.  Kuraigana Island, “I stayed with Iva for a while.  But the Revolutionaries had to mobilize to Punk Hazard, so I ended up coming here.  Iva wanted to make sure someone was still here to keep an eye on me.”

“Which led to me getting another mouth to feed,” Mihawk mustered up a little bit of a smile, “Not that you haven’t been lovely company from time to time, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you didn’t mind spending a little time with Mihawk.  He was a decent human being.  He wasn’t selling you out to the World Government.  You felt relatively safe there.  But Crocodile…Something about him seemed shifty.  Like he wasn’t one to be trusted.  But at the same time, you also knew he had broken out from Impel Down.  You knew he wasn’t exactly a fan of the World Government either.  Or the Navy.  If worst came to worst, you knew you’d probably be ok running away to Alabasta with him, “Crocodile…”

“Yes?” Crocodile asked, “You call?”

“Do you have a ship?” you asked, “If we had to jam out of here right now, could we do that?”

“I do,” Crocodile nodded, “Why?  Are you already trying to leave?”

“Not right now,” you shook your head, “I just got here.  And Mihawk hasn’t finished his story.”

“Oh, it’s finished,” Mihawk assured you, “The only part left is the nuns who raised me telling me my true parentage.  I didn’t meet them in person until I was…Oh, it was just after the fifteenth anniversary of the Great Pirate Age.  I had gone to the Baratie for a drink after leaving Loguetown.  Things were emotionally charged leaving Loguetown.  I needed a little time away.  So, the Baratie.  I sat down at the bar.  I got my wine.  A man sat down next to me.  I had only recognized him from his wanted posters, but I had seen him in Loguetown, too.  He ordered rum.  Not surprising, honestly.  I’ve yet to meet a pirate who doesn’t have a taste for rum.  He raised his glass to me without realizing who I was.  To a great man, he said.  I didn’t realize he was talking about Roger at the time, but in hindsight, I’m sure that’s exactly who he meant.”

“Unless he was talking about you,” you pointed out, “Maybe he did know who you were.  And that’s why he raised his glass to you.”

“I doubt it,” Mihawk topped his glass off, “But we sat at that bar.  We shared a drink.  He bought me another one, which was kind of nice.  Then, he asked me my name.  I told him.  I told him my name was Dracule Mihawk.  And he laughed.  I still remember that laugh.  But the Baratie died down.  Things got quiet.  He and I sat there for last call.  I had assumed the lady he was with had gone back to their ship.  Maybe even went to bed.  Wouldn’t surprise me, but here nor there.  So, we had our last drinks.  And he turned to me and said that my name shouldn’t have been Dracule Mihawk.  He said I looked like my mother…And I thought to myself, how would he know who my mother was?  How would he know I looked like her?  I didn’t even know which of my parents I looked like.  Until he told me my name should’ve been Silvers Mihawk instead.  And he introduced himself as my father.  Not too many people knew Rayleigh had kids.  He knew.  Shakky knew.  That was probably it.  Unless he told Roger, too.  I wouldn’t be surprised.  That was his best friend.”

“But at least he told you who he was,” you pointed out, “At least he didn’t keep it a secret.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Mihawk nodded, “But I did everything in my power to not punch him right then and there.  Or run him through.  I did have Yoru on me.  But we finished our drinks.  He went back to his ship.  I went back to mine.  The only difference is I took off.  I wasn’t going to stick around to see her, too.  They abandoned me.  They had no right to me.  So, I left.  Just like they did.  And that’s when I started living more nomadically.  With the occasional trip back to the Baratie.  I had only decided to start seeing things from a different perspective recently.  Just within the last few years.  I started to see things take a turn.  And I wanted somewhere to settle down.  Somewhere I could spend my golden years.  Although, there was a better chance of me still sailing until the day I die.  I don’t mind this, though.  Kuraigana Castle.  It’s been good to me since I moved in.  The place was abandoned when I got here, so I decided to claim it as my own.  And now, you know about me, Y/N.  Now, if it’s all the same to you, I think you should spend the rest of your day with Crocodile.”

“Crocodile?” you looked at him strangely, “But I have so many questions.  Why do you still hold the grudge against Rayleigh and Shakky?  After you’ve heard the stories of what I’ve told you, of what I’m sure Hancock’s told you, how do you still hold onto that grudge?  Why not just move on?”

“Why do you still want Akainu dead?” Mihawk retaliated, his tone a little snippy, “Same reason.  Akainu’s a Marine.  And an admiral at that.  And yet, we’re not all sucking his dick.  That’s just for you.  Aren’t you lucky?  And yet, you still want him dead.  Why would you want that?  He’s such a good man after all.”

“Because he hurt me in ways I could never begin to explain,” you admitted, “But I don’t think I can put Rayleigh and Shakky giving you up for the sake of keeping you safe and what Akainu did to me in the same category.”

“Go find Crocodile, Y/N,” Mihawk ordered, “That wasn’t a suggestion.  He’ll serve as your tutor and I need to go find and fight Roronoa.  After we’re done, Hancock, I will leave with you.”

“Wait,” you stopped him, “What about me?”

“What about you?” Mihawk scoffed, “You’re a big girl, Y/N.  I’m sure you can handle yourself.”

“But,” you went on, “The whole reason why I left the Kamabakka Kingdom was because Iva had to leave.  And he didn’t want to leave me by myself.”

“That’s the difference between Ivankov and myself,” Mihawk continued toward the door, “He cares more than I do.  I expect you to handle yourself.  Besides, you do have another warlord and one of the greatest swordsmen in the world on this island.  Perona manages the door.  If anything were to happen like, oh, say, the Navy trying to be menacing at my castle while I was away for a World Government meeting, then they’d be met with security.  You, on the other hand, will be fine.  Now, go, Y/N.  Go find Crocodile.  Or honestly, anyone else’s hair to tangle yourself in.  Just not mine.”

youre tired.

so, so fucking tired.

is there even a point in living? any point in continuing with this life? with this absurd luck you have, the next life would somehow be worse.

so, so pitiful. how useless you are. contributing nothing to your family, your grades, your social life, and your character on the internet.

what was once your safe heaven, quickly became purgatory. you cant use it to cope anymore.

how could you let this happen?

you're so fucking embarrassing. too scared to even do more than just hitting your head in frustration. cant even.. commit to your thoughts.

death was too painful.. and scary.

you sat there, your utensils mindlessly prodding at your food. everything was muffled, too loud. all you could do was try to blink the tears away.

"..updates..?"

slowly lifting your head, you paused. your "brother" was staring back at you. his smug smirk and crossed arms becoming the only thing that you could see. the background of everything else ceased to exist.

"I want to punt his fucking face off." is a thought that always came to mind. its a daily practice at that point.

however..

everything came back to normal as your dad wrapped an arm around your brothers shoulder, messing up his hair. you deflated in your seat, biting the insides of your cheek. so, so stupid. you wanna just leave but you can't. your relatives were suffocating you, preventing you from getting up from your seat.

"heyhey!! got new mail.. and guess what?" your dad turned to everyone, his beaming smile soon getting crossed out through your blurry vision.

"this little critter here got an award! AGAIN!" the entire table erupted in cheers, celebrating while you continue to sink in your seat. nobody except your brother notices your pathetic form. as soon as they quiet down, theyre going to shame you. shame you for not being like him, for not being as studious or .. normal.

…

everything blacked out as you walked back into your room, ignoring the calls from your dad and the others. you could hear their little whispers, their jabs at your stupid fucking-

rattle, rattle.

…

you turned your head to the sound

..

holy shit theres a naked man out your window.. he only had one visible eye, everything was covered with his dark messy hair and darker highlights in random tufts of hair. he seemed to have horns ..? in his messy, unkept hair, there was two smaller eyeballs looking right back at you. almost like he came out of some erotic monster eldritch horror fanfic.

whattheshittyisthatohkmygodyoruegonnashityourbpants-

he puts his claw against the window.. staring back at you. his eyes slowly trail to the bag of chips that laid on your messy desk. he blinked once with his giant eye, his smaller eyeballs still on you. …is he hungry..? you turned to the bag of chips, your favorite.

you let out a shuddering breath as you reached out, your hands shaking. your legs wobbled when you slowly walk to the window. this was a horrible idea.. but.. do you really have a choice here..? fat tears rolled down your cheeks, your heart beating so fast that your entire body feels like the color white.

finally, you opened the window,, quickly shoving the bag of chips into his hand. you raced to shut the window but his other claw gripped your neck tightly. you couldnt even scream- too mortified. instead, you shut your eyes closed, to comfort yourself before you die.

munch munch

…?

the sounds of chewing.. it continued for what seems like hours ( which was only around twenty seconds in real time ) before the rustling of the chips vanish. the cold wind whipped at your face, knowing the monster was staring you down while holding you in place.

your breath hitched as you felt his arm claw wipe away your tears. through your eyelashes, you can see him lean closer..

..

is that purring. thats.. definitely purring. you blinked wide open to see the monster staring back at you. the two mini eyeballs.. their pupils were a heart.. shape? he continued to caress your face, wiping away the final tears. the claw that was wrapped around your neck loosened-

boop. heres artwork i made of critter.. drawing him made me happy.. hes not supposerd to be nakey ,, supposed to have fur and spikey stuff but like idaf anymore - was gonna write him comforting you, you give him ur damaged bow, and you guys escape to the forest where you bang or something help ts frying me