#vehophobia

Hey buddy, I'm more scared of cars than I am of monsters. You know how many drunk drivers, hazards, and plain assholes there are? I'm more likely to be killed going to the grocery store than by a wannabe Ted Bundy, let alone a werewolf.

So that's why I'm here to tell you a scary story for Halloween.

The one thing worse than being a lesser known agoraphobe in a death machine with more controls than a video game controller? Being stuck with one in Nowhere County.

A curve in the road around a hill where you can't see a semi coming at you. One goddamn thing at a time. Or trying to shift lanes while everyone is going light speed. Good thing I know to look at the right clear line to not be a deer in headlights. But trying to look left and right and front and back like you're in the middle of a war zone all while keeping the accelerator at an even pace even though your big toe wants to rest. One goddamn thing at a time.

Or losing power and haunted by wild animals or a bunch of strangers eyeing me like fresh meat while stranded. AAA or someone else better not have changed their numbers.

Tailed by an aggressive honking loonie who's wanting to eat my bumper for ten minutes straight. Never mind the cost of repairs if I get hit, but what if he turns out to be a creep wanting to take my money or even gut me?

Somehow I'm still alive even if my insurance is in the hospital. But hell, if I'm still alive after driving these death machines for a decade, maybe I'm tougher than Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris. Let's see them stop a car.

The highway constricted the nearby cars as semi trucks dueled for dominance. The highway never ended, never gave a rest. My body trembled over the speeding stampede to my left and the persistent predators to the right. They become less like vehicles and more like colorful bullets I must dodge. Every move a split second. Left, right, forward, back.

Behind was a red Ford with an American flag waving viciously as it's tattered by the miles of wind. It followed me for hours no matter where I turn. I attempted to swerve left until I remembered my destination was in the center. Both actions were copied.

I looked outside the windows in brief moments of traffic jams and saw the same rusting buildings of childhood and abandoned oil rigs that left after raping the earth and taking off with the spoils.

My reflection worsened with each look. Wrinkles, hair that falls off or grays, sagging and numbing in the body and mind. I kept driving to where I ought to go, to catch up with the others, but I can't see them. I've been left behind, passed by, and lost in the eternal highway without a rest stop. I check the time and it's later than expected but it felt shorter than that. Left, right, forward, back.

The red Ford with the American flag followed me into the back roads and followed me back onto the highway, nearly eating my bumper with its mechanical jaws, tracking me down just to wait until I put my foot down on the break. But I'm not close to home so I must keep moving or I'll be another pileup.

I want to be brave and independent. I try my best to adapt, be defensive, and move forward. But another swerve from semis made me buckle and caused my foot to shift with the other. I looked at the outside and the same rusted buildings and oil rig are there. I'm losing it and I don't know if I'll get it back. Left, right, forward, back.

The red Ford with the American flag bellows out a black smog that shoots ahead of it, covering it with obscuring smoke, and it reached closer to me despite any natural law. When it cleared, I looked at the vehicles around me, still driving and piloted by faceless silhouettes.

I've been begging for her to let me get one for years ever since our family cat Moe passed away when I was a teenager. I've always lived with a cat and a dog, so having no cat in my life has felt really weird.

Anyway, the deal is I have to get my driver's permit by a certain date. Does anyone have any tips? I have horrible testing anxiety. What are the major things I need to remember? Does anyone have any websites with practice tests?

i’m trying again. doing tiny, tiny exposure therapy with my therapist. today, i sat in the drivers seat, with my seatbelt buckled and the car all the way on. i touched the steering wheel. i was shaky, but i didn’t cry. i was able to keep my breathing stable. and maybe it’s not much—the car never even left park—but it’s so much better than i was.