#vampire angst

He tried everything he could to keep her alive. Various types of acupuncture, medicines, herbs, visits to the apothecary, nothing seemed to work on the vicious disease ravaging her body.

On a moonless night, he knelt by her beside, his undead heart aching as she spoke her final words.

“Don’t… cry…” she murmured, her skeletal hand caressing his cheek and wiping away the tears that wouldn’t stop. “I may die… but my love will… persist through it all…”

Choking on a sob, he leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. “I don’t want to be alone… I can’t stand it, I won’t let you go.”

She began to hum, carefully running your fingers through his soft locks. “Then I’ll come back… I promise. I’ll… find you…”

The clouds covering the moon moved out of the way for just a moment, letting its light shine on her face one last time.

“I love you, Valentine.”

With that, she drew her last breath.

It took several days for reality to set in. Valentine still came to her room every night, sat beside her slowly decaying corpse, and kissed her head.

“Goodnight, my dear.”

~

Darkness fell over the land, leaving you nothing to light your path. Everyone warned you to be home before nightfall, but you foolishly ventured on, wanting to gather more fresh herbs for dinner.

After all, you were out camping in such a nice cabin, why not take advantage of the change of scenery and eat something you gathered yourself?

Life in the city was hard, and you thought a change of pace would be nice. After all, in only a few months you were to be married off to someone you didn’t know.

‘Aren’t arranged marriages outdated?’ you thought to yourself as you forced your body to move forward.

Your father was wealthy and a bit distant, but you never thought he would marry you off to someone you hadn’t even met!

It was just supposed to be a walk to clear your head, to try and make sense of what your life was becoming.

Well, now you were lost in a dark and wintery forest with your phone dead and scarf blown away with the wind.

It was hard to see even your own two hands in the pitch blackness that surrounded you, and the only way you were able to move without tripping was to grab at trees as you passed by.

A part of you wanted to cry out for help, but knew that could possibly cause you more trouble than it was worth. After all, many predators lurked in the thick forest.

You didn’t want to come face to face with one.

Tears fell down your cheeks, and you struggled to keep yourself from giving in to the falling snow. If you just lied down, maybe you wouldn’t have to be so afraid anymore.

The soft white snow would cover you in a blanket, keeping you nice and comfortable through the rest of the winter until you thawed in the spring.

‘No, can’t have that. I’m sure some animals will dig up my corpse. They wouldn’t be able to have a proper funeral for them,’ you thought to yourself, puffs of white escaping your lips.

Though, as you continued on despite the wind tugging at your coat and your boots sinking deeper into the snow, it almost felt like something was guiding you.

When you turned towards the left, your worries eased and the wind was a little less harsh. You didn’t give it much thought, and continued to travel on the easier path.

Little did you know, fate was leading you somewhere you were supposed to be.

The cold nipped at your skin, your lungs struggling to breathe in the frosty air. All seemed hopeless…

Then, a light in the distance lit a fire under you. You forced your frozen feet to keep moving, trying your best to ignore the pain in your tingling limbs.

‘Just a few feet more…’ you thought to yourself, struggling to keep yourself from passing out. ‘Almost… there…’

Before you lost consciousness, you saw the source of the light. Someone was holding an old fashioned lamp, a beacon in the snow storm..

~

Waking up was a bit easier this time. Though the light spilling past the gap in the curtains hurt your eyes, you didn’t feel as uncomfortable and weak as before.

You sat up on your own, blinking the sleep away as you finally took in your surroundings.

“You’re awake,” a voice called out from a dark corner of the room. Focusing in, you were able to make out a pair of red eyes, instantly alerting your mind to potential danger.

Human beings didn’t have scarlet eyes, but your father had told you many tales of those who did. Hoping the creature didn’t realize you noticed, you nodded.

“Haven’t you been taught to speak? You seemed awfully talkative in your sleep. I could hear you whining from down the hall, you know.”

Your face burned, and before you could retort he emerged from the shadows.

“I see your fever is down. The nurse has been fretting over you day and night.”

The man had long white hair that cascaded down his shoulders and red eyes to match. He was disturbingly beautiful, like a painting that came to life. It wasn’t human, his features were almost uncannily perfect.

He didn’t bother to hide his fangs when he spoke. “(Name) (Last Name), correct? Quite the coincidence…”

“What do you mean?”

“I suppose you wouldn’t know, we haven't formally met,” he mused, at your confused expression.

Your eyes narrowed in suspicion. Who was this handsome stranger? Or yet, the better question…

“What are you?”

The man rolled his eyes, sitting on the foot of your bed. “Quite the rude question, isn’t it? I’m a vampire, is that what you wanted to hear?”

He stared down at you, his gaze cold and unenthusiastic. “More importantly, I’m your fiancé.”

It was too much to process at once. You read plenty of horror and romance novels about vampires, and he fit the description perfectly. The strangest part about the situation wasn’t that he was a vampire though.

“You’re Valentine? As in the man I’m ENGAGED TO-“

“The very same.”

Nothing about him seemed like good husband material. His eyes seemed empty and lifeless, like those of a porcelain doll, and he was so cold towards you, his future fiancé. Even when his eyes were on you, it seemed like he was barely paying attention to what you had to say!

“I won’t marry you, I just won’t!”

Valentine smiled, a first in the little time you had known him. Instead of it being warm and inviting, it sent shivers down your spine.

“Oh, really now? We’ll see about that.”

The window curtains opened just enough for you to peek out, his gloved hand avoiding the sunlight. The outside world was blanketed in a thick sheet of snow, and you looked on in horror when you realized it reached the window.

“We’ve been snowed in. You’ll be staying here for at least a week until the blizzard passes through.”

He turned, brushing off his suit pants before walking to the door. “Breakfast will be served at 7 am sharp. A servant will arrive here shortly to get you ready.”

The vampire paused in the doorway, hesitating a moment before turning back to look at you. “… and don’t try to leave, you’ll freeze to death in that snow.”

With that, he was gone and you were left alone to fume in your room while you waited for help to arrive.

~

You walked the halls of the manner, noticing the only lighting came from extravagant light fixtures that hung from the ceilings. There were no windows besides the one that had been in your room, and you could only assume that was to protect the master of the estate.

‘I can’t believe father married me off to a vampire…’ you thought to yourself as you were guided to the dining room. Your father promised you the man you were to be wed to would take care of you and give you the life you had always wanted, but you were beginning to doubt his words.

When you were being dressed by the older servant woman, you were able to see your body in the mirror more clearly than usual. Your fat belly, rolls, and little imperfections made you wince. There was no way Valentine had agreed to be your husband knowing what you looked like, perhaps he had sinister intentions in mind.

No one as beautiful as him would want you, vampire or not, so you kept up your guard. Despite your insecurities, you were a confident woman that refused to be bullied or tricked into some loveless marriage.

By the end of the week, you’d have him end this engagement and go back home to your lovely cats!

Valentine was waiting in the dining room, an empty plate sat in front of him. He sipped on a glass of what you wanted to assume was red wine, hsi eyes never leaving you.

“Took you longer than I expected. I don’t like to wait, I’ll have you know.”

You bristled at his words, sitting across from him. His eyes cut to the servants, who quickly scurried to the kitchen to bring out your breakfast.

“I will be busy through most of the day and night. I suppose you can call this a trial run for our married life,” he said, sipping on his wine before letting out a sigh.

“…”

You didn’t want to speak to him, not when he seemed so cold and unfeeling. Even if you didn’t want to be married to him, it almost hurt to know your potential future husband would have no affection for you whatsoever.

When you weren’t looking, his eyes softened ever so slightly, and he took in your full figure before his features returned to his neutral expression.

For just a split second, you thought you saw the faintest crinkle in the corner of his eyes, the look of someone who was incredibly fond of another.

You shook your head and ate silently. It was just your imagination, you weren’t even sure if vampires could love someone.

After breakfast, you walked back to your room, shutting yourself in before pulling a book from the bookcase and plopping onto your bed.

Valentine watched as you left, that softness returning as he contemplated whether to let himself fall in love with a mortal again.

~

Earlier that night, Valentine felt something stirring in his chest. His undead heart felt heavy, and even his cold body felt like it was on fire.

Valentine staggered down the endless halls, gripping the wall as his chest ached. Something was wrong, and in his heart he knew he had to do something to prevent a terrible tragedy.

One of his servants approached, brows furrowed. “Master, are you alright-“

“The door… open the door.”

He fell into the snow, nearly crawling as he tried his best to move with the unyielding pain coursing through his body. Had he been poisoned?

“Master… there’s a girl out in the snow!”

From that angle, both the servant and Valentine could see a young woman through the nearly blinding snow. You, however, could not see them.

The second he laid eyes on you, the pain melted away into bliss, spreading through his limbs and all the way to his heart.

“Get a lamp and tell the others to prepare a room.”

After you collapsed, Valentine carried you to the room and watched over you through the next several days as you battled a horrible fever.

He refused to partake in his usual meals, unable to leave your side for even a second.

“Could it really be her..?” Valentine questioned aloud, his fingertips brushing against your feverish cheek.

When you woke up in a daze, he was the one to slowly lower you back down and tend to your illness.

Although his undead heart felt heavy in his chest when he left your side, he knew that if you truly were who he thought you were… you’d be upset when you woke up.

He loved you more than anything, but stayed silent as he wiped the sweat from your brow and monitored your health.

Valentine didn’t want you to be in an unhappy marriage, where you had no choice in the matter… so if you couldn’t fall in love with a vampire, he wouldn’t make you stay.

He loved you enough to do that.

Part of him was also afraid. You were reborn as a mortal, a being that would never be able to live alongside him without becoming a vampire yourself.

What was he supposed to do when you died too? Valentine steeled himself, not wanting to get too close. He had to emotionally distance himself, or he’d end up distraught for centuries again.

Though, as you fell asleep after eating breakfast, Valentine couldn’t help but return to your room. You were laying across the bed, a few pages into the book you had been reading before you fell asleep. It seemed your fever had taken a lot out of you, and you were still exhausted.

He carefully tucked you under the thick comforter, leaning down to inhale your familiar scent before kissing your forehead.

His body ached to be closer to yours, to feel your warmth sink into his pale skin as it once did all those centuries ago. Valentine had taken on no other human bride, for there was no other human he loved as much as you.

When he retired to his bed chambers for the afternoon, he couldn’t help but grope the bulge in his pants, his cheeks flushed as he sat on the edge of his bed.

Your scent had driven him to the brink of insanity, it took everything in his body to leave your sleeping body alone.

He slowly stroked his cock, thinking of the small glimpse he got of your naked body as he changed you out of your soaking wet clothes.

The snow left you cold and wet, and he didn’t want you to get sick… but still, his eyes had fallen on your ample bosom and thick thighs. How he wished to reach out and touch what was his, what had always been his…

But he didn’t, and as he touched himself he imagined an alternative reality where he did. He imagined you waking up, smiling as he kissed and touched you…

The vampire came, panting softly as the shame started to set in.

Did he really deserve you?

~

You woke up to an empty room in the afternoon, your body aching from the awkward sleeping position, but otherwise you felt… fine. Your book was sitting on the nightstand nearby, a bookmark placed between the last pages you read.

Although you didn’t remember placing the bookmark, you chalked it up to your mind playing tricks on you.

“Lunch is ready, madam.”

The sound of your door opening hadn’t registered, but the voice of the maid who stepped in to fetch you had. You jumped in surprise, nearly falling over before catching yourself on the nightstand.

“A-alright… I understand.”

You didn’t see him during lunch, figuring Valentine was busy with his work he mentioned before. You only saw him again while you were exploring, passing through the labyrinth-like hallways to try and find something to entertain yourself with.

“Lost?”

He appeared behind you, almost as if he had been your shadow this entire time.

“F-fuck! I swear to god, everyone in this place is trying to give me a damn heart attack.”

The man chuckled, but for some reason getting any kind of reaction out of him felt strangely… good.

“My apologies, I was just curious as to why you were wandering about like a scared little rabbit and assumed you were lost.”

This made you puff out your cheeks. “I am in fact not lost, I’m just exploring. I can find my way just fine, thank you.”

He watched you open a random door, only to be greeted by a supply closet. When you turned to him with your face heated with embarrassment, he scoffed.

“I’m going to be your husband, you can ask me to show you around, you know. I don’t bite.”

Valentine pretended to not be hurt when you flinched at his words, and simply turned. “What is it you want to see?”

You recovered from your temporary fear of his fangs sinking into your throat and replied. “… do you have a library, by chance?”

“The biggest library you’ll ever see.”

Valentine was completely correct. An entire wing of his manor was dedicated to his vast collection of books, ranging from historical records to smutty romance novels.

You tried to avert your gaze from the more… erotic covers but he notices they caught your eye. “Interested? I have a good selection of romance novels. You can take whichever ones you’d like to read to your room and keep them.”

That was rather kind of him, and it confused you slightly. How could a man that was supposedly as cold as him allow a stranger to take books from a collection he so obviously adored?

The shelves were free of dust, some older books fixed with new bindings to keep them from falling apart. The vampire must have spent a lot of money on the upkeep of his novels, so why were you allowed to just keep any you so pleased?

“Master Valentine, the phone is working again.”

The two of you glanced up at the servant as he walked in, carrying a rotary phone. You weren’t sure if those even worked anymore, and you only used one before when your grandma was alive.

“Ah, thank you Francis. (Name)…”

He tilted his head towards the phone, his expression back to being neutral. “Call your father, talk to him about your thoughts on the marriage and… tell him you have my consent to end it if you must.”

His words left you standing there in a daze as he left the room to give you privacy. You blinked, trying to regain your composure before you took the phone.

“Father… it’s me, (Name).”

The man on the other line huffed. “I thought you went and run off somewhere. Good to see you’re with Valentine, as this is his number after all. Tell me, do you like your future husband?”

You weren’t exactly sure anymore. Regardless, you sighed and continued. “Father, I told you I don’t want to be in an arranged marriage, can’t you-“

“I didn’t say you had any choice in this, little girl,”

You froze at that, recognizing the belittling tone of his voice. Though you didn’t hate your father, he wasn’t someone you enjoyed being around because of how he treated you like a pawn for his business affairs.

“Without marrying into the Valentine family, our business will go under. He’s willing to make some trades and deals that will have us set for life and pay for your sisters’ college funds. I sent you to college, didn’t I? You wanna repay me by putting your father in debt?”

You didn’t reply, your face falling as he sighed on the other end. “Do whatever you have to do to make sure this marriage goes through, or don’t bother coming home.”

You handed the phone back to the servant, silently carrying your books to your room as you tried not to cry. It seemed like you truly had no other choice now. After being so adamant about not wanting to marry him, would Valentine still even want you?

I mean, who would? You didn’t even like yourself, with your fat thighs and tummy that was too big. What could you even offer him in return?

With a glance at the romance novels, you blinked before getting an idea. They were all aimed towards women like her, with plump female protagonists. Perhaps… he had a fetish of some sort?

You went to dinner with your plan in mind, wearing the elegant red dress provided to you by the servants. Perhaps you could seduce him…

Valentine’s eyes followed your figure as you walked into the dining room, with an expression you couldn’t quite read. His grip on silverware tightened to the point it bent in his grasp

“You look… nice.”

Your plan was working so far, but you had to remain coy for it to keep going. “Thank you, Valentine. I didn’t want to look like a mess if I’m eating with such an important man.”

His eyebrow raised, but he didn’t question your sudden change in attitude. Instead, he sipped his drink, his red eyes following the curvature of your body before landing on your plump thighs.

Soon, you finished eating and left, giving him a little smile before you did. It left him feeling confused and… oddly aroused.

~

Valentine leaned back in his chair, glancing at the portrait of his deceased lover that hung atop the fireplace in his office.

You looked just like her, the same hair, same eyes, and the exact same, perfect figure he had always adored.

In his time, women with soft, plump bodies were considered the beauty standard, and it hadn’t changed for him. His pants tightened as he thought of you in that red dress, how your fat tits were barely within the expensive fabric.

He wanted to see you in even finer clothing… and perhaps none at all.

‘No, I can’t think of her like that…’ he thought to himself, rubbing his temple. ‘I don’t want to get attached…’

As he began to start signing the endless paperwork on his desk, a knock on the door caught his attention. Valentine could already pick up your scent through the door, so he straightened himself up in an attempt to hide his erection.

“Come in.”

You stepped into his office, still dressed in that red dress, though your heels were gone. Instead, you walked towards him barefoot, your eyes on his.

“You seemed stressed today…” you murmured, walking behind his desk. Before he could ask what you were doing, you reached around his chair.

Your hand moved down his chest and under his suit jacket. His skin felt cold, and you hoped he could still get it up being undead and all.

“I can help you relax, you know? Take it… as an apology for being so rude.”

At this point, the only worth you could find in yourself was making use of your body, but in his eyes you were showing him affection and care.

Was it truly okay to relax while your hands worked to unbutton his pants? It had been so long since he felt the touch of a woman, and you were his love, his everything…

Valentine let out a shaky breath as his cock sprung forward, precum dribbling from his tip as your hand held onto his length. He hissed, holding onto your arm as you stroked him slowly.

“I… could be a good wife. I might not have the most experience, b-but I’ve read plenty of novels. I can make you feel good…” you murmured against his neck, your cheeks flushed with both embarrassment and arousal.

Watching his chest rise and fall rapidly as he panted and moaned with each jerking motion made you feel a certain something… but you didn’t give in to it. You were here to pleasure him, that was it.

“A good wife, hmm?”

He sighed, his eyes half lidded as he looked back at you, noticing your warm cheeks and pouting lips. Oh, how he wanted to feel your lips on his while you jerked him off. Every single day he imagined something like this whole touching himself, desperate to feel his lover against him again.

He came in your hand, panting as your thumb blushed over his pink tip. You brought your cum soaked fingers to your lips, shyly licking the excess liquid away as you stepped back.

“… I hope you feel better now,” you murmured, glancing towards the door. You did what you were supposed to do, you got him off and now you should leave.

Part of you didn’t want to, but you turned towards the door anyways, unable to look him in the eye.

“Where are you going?”

You stopped when you felt his hand on your wrist, keeping you in place. “… I did what I was supposed to, and now I’m going to bed.”

“… supposed… to?”

Valentine's undead heart clenched in his chest. Did you think that all you were to him was something to use? You didn’t get understand his feelings for you.

“My father… he said I have no choice but to marry you. It’s… not that I don’t like you. I just…”

He watched as tears fell down your chubby cheeks. “I’m afraid you… won’t want someone like me.”

Without further warning, the vampire lifted you up and placed you on his desk. You blinked in surprise, your face heating up when he tore the expensive red fabric of your dress from your chubby frame.

“I guess I’ll have to show you then… I can be a good husband to you.”

He didn’t care anymore. Valentine loved you, and didn’t want to see you upset. He pried your thighs open, kissing down your soft belly, paying extra attention to the soft fat of your tummy before placing a kiss on your damp panties.

“V-Valentine, you don’t have t-“

His fangs scraped against your thigh, making you go quiet. “Shh, I’m going to make you feel good, alright?”

Your panties were tossed to the side so he could get to your bare cunt, his tongue immediately pushing inside of you. His fingers flicked your clit, and he looked up at you with pussy drunk eyes.

No one had ever touched you like this before, much less buried their head between your thighs! Your mind was already fuzzy with pleasure, and your clit twitched against his lips.

His fingers replaced his tongue so he could focus his mouth on your clit, and you could feel something building up in your belly with each curl of his digits.

You came once, but he wasn’t done. As you felt fireworks going off in your lower belly, he latched onto your clit and added another finger, continuing to pump his fingers in and out of you through your orgasm.

Even when you touched yourself in the past, you had never felt such pleasure. Suddenly, you started to squirm, feeling embarrassed. “S-stop, I’m gonna-“

Your pussy gushed, squirting fluid all over his pale face. You just squirted for the first time, and on your betrothed of all people!

There was no time to be embarrassed, though. The vampire between your legs was too busy licking his glistening lips as he stroked his cock, ready to be inside of you.

“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this, my love. No idea at all…”

You were too blissed out to question his words. Valentine had no intention of telling you that you were his reincarnated love… at least not yet.

He pinned your wrists above your head, peppering kisses along your neck before biting down gently, marking you as his.

His cock pushed into you, the slick dripping from your cunt making it easy to begin moving immediately. This was heavenly to him, being inside of the woman he adored after thinking he’d never see you alive again. Nothing would take you away, he couldn’t bear it.

“You’ll stay with me, won’t you?” he said through muffled whimpers, his hands gripping the fat of your hips. “I can’t let you go… you’ll be my wife, I’ll t-take good care of you!”

He lapped the blood from your neck, groaning into your sweat covered skin as he felt you clench around him.

Valentine came inside of you, his body feeling warmth for the first time in centuries. This was how he was supposed to feel, absolutely in love.

Your future marriage was saved, and you now knew that Valentine was fond of you, though for now… you weren’t sure why.

As you laid next to him, he decided to love your human self without guilt.

After all, you said you’d always return to his side.

~

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———————

The air in Ferid's chambers was devoid of life and cold. For months you've existed in his life. You weren't a mere livestock attached to a feeding machine. You were his favourite human. The chosen little pet. It was a position that came with uncertainty, comfort and an unpredictable owner. He played with his food mentally and physically. He thrived on the chase, tears, blood, defiant sparks of anger, disobedience, the sweet warm flesh of your skin where his fangs sinked in, the feeling of your soft lips on top of his. So many things he absolutely adored of you. He loved breaking you piece by piece until the idea of never being able to escape wrapped around your shattered mind as you started embracing the being you'd spend the rest of your life with, started touching him gently, heart swelling with love for the monster of a man he was. Truly, how far can one break? Perhaps it was time.

Ferid had been in one of his masochistic moods, red eyes with black slits in place of pupils glittering with chaotic boredom. When you tried to pull away from his embrace, exhausted and overstimulated, an airy melodic laugh made its way into your ears as you were pinned to the velvet chaise by him. He wanted to see your face with tear streaks on them, he wanted a fearful reaction out of you to satisfy his own twisted desires. You thought he'd use his fangs to inflict pain on you, but owing to unusuality you saw him pull out a silver dagger. "Perhaps a little artistry would remind you not to make mistakes, my love?" he chuckled as he ran the tip of it over your collarbone. His strength faltered under the mist of his twisted amusement. It sliced through your skin, parting your sweet flesh and blood. He had pressed too hard, it wasn't the shallow scratch he intended to imprint, it was a deep gash that immediately welled with dark blood, spilling over both sides of your shoulder. The white hot pain seared through you as you let out a scream so raw, it made his senses freeze and his smile faltered. He stared at the wound in awe as his sarcastic glee turned into genuine shock. For a vampire who prided himself on precise control of movement, he had made a clumsy brutal mistake, and that too, on the one he loved. He firmly slid his thumb across the wound in a swift movement in an attempt to cool down the burn, but the damage was done. Not just to your flesh, to your spirit as well.

A day has passed and the wound was bound tightly, ointments of finest quality smeared underneath it. The physical healing was irrelevant to the healing of your mind. You sat still on the edge of the massive four poster canopy bed, staring at the wall tapestries blankly, the bandages on your collarbone peeking out of the sheer fabric you were wearing. You barely even seemed to breathe, you looked lifeless. Ferid stepped into the room, the heels of his boots clicking softly against the carpeted floor, his uniform immaculate as his silver hair cascaded down his back in a neat ponytail, swaying behind him as he came towards you. His customary grin was plastered on his face as he vigilantly observed you. "Good evening, little lamb" his voice playful yet soft as he set down a silver tray with pastries and tea beside you. "I brought you something to help restore your strength. You lost quite a bit of blood, thanks to my...little clumsy moment yesterday" he slid his gloved fingers through his hair, waiting for a retort of some sort. Usually you would glare at him, hurl an insult or turn away from him. You slowly turned to look at his eyes, ignoring the delicacy placed beside you, your hollow gaze piercing through him, "Thank you, Lord Ferid" your voice flat, no spark, no nothing. Just the voice of a ghost.

His smile twitched as he placed a hand on his hip, "Oh? 'Lord Ferid'? We're being formal today are we? Come now, where is that temper of yours? Aren't you going to throw a pillow at me? Tell me you hate me?" slyness of a fox in his voice. "I don't hate you" you said softly, your gaze drifting back to the tapestry displayed on the cold walls, "You are a vampire. I am human. You do what you please with me. It's my fault for forgetting that. Forgive me, sire" The words were devoid of anger and bitterness, they were spoken like an objective fact and it terrified him. He stepped closer, invading your space as he reached out and placed a hand on your cheek, cupping it and forcing you to look up at his towering form. You'd bite his finger any other day or distance yourself. Now you simply let him tilt your head. Your face relaxed, eyes of vacancy, looking into them was like looking into an abandoned house. "Stop that" he murmured, his voice losing its playful edge, "Look at me properly" he demanded. "I am looking at you" you murmured back. "No you aren't, you're looking through me" he said as he let go of your cheek, an unfamiliar discomfort and irritation pricking his insides. "I apologise, alright? Is that what you want to hear? The great Ferid Bathory admitting his mistake of poorly controlling his strength? It was an accident" you let him finish, "You don't need to apologise. You own me. If you want to cut through me, that's your right. I understand my place now". 'I understand my place now', the words echoed in his mind as a suffocating knot formed in his stomach. He had spent months trying to break your rebellious spirit, wanting to tame you. He didn't want any of this. He didn't want a mindless doll. He wanted a vibrant expressive human who found something worth staying for with him, whose blood rushed with passion for him. By letting his cruelty go too far, he didn't break your rebellion, he broke your soul.

Days blurred into one another, you ate when told, slept when told, offered your neck and anywhere on your body for him to feed on when demanded. You became a shell of the person you once used to be. You didn't wince anymore at the sharp pain of fangs sinking in your skin, you just stared at the ceiling waiting for him to finish. Feeding on you had become an unfulfilling chore, your blood tasted of iron as it had lost its sweet vibrant rush of life that always made him crave more of you. Ferid couldn't stand it anymore. Your silence was defeaning and your dullness a constant mocking reminder of his failure of control.

One evening he entered the room, finding you sitting on the velvet lounge, eyes on your lap, fiddling with your fingers. He walked over and picked you up without a word as he carried you to the bed, where he sat leaning on a mountain of pillows and placing you on his lap, facing towards him. You didn't struggle as you let yourself be moved like a ragdoll, straddling his lap, head resting limply on his shoulder. "I brought you something" his voice softer than usual, his theatrical tone at bay as he wrapped both arms just below your chest, pulling you closer. He held up a rose to your vision. "It's quite rare to find these in the underground city" you glanced at it before expressing appreciation towards his gesture, "Thank you, its beautiful" you murmured, tone still void. "Do you want to hold it?" "If you want me to" you replied. Ferid slammed the rose into the soft mattress, his patience snapping in half. He gripped your shoulders painfully, forcing you to look at him. His aristocratic composure was cracking into pent up grief and fury, "Enough! I cannot take this anymore!" he snarled, his fangs flashing into your sight. "Scream at me! Cry! Curse my name! You're acting like a corpse and I did not keep you alive just to have a corpse sitting around in my manor" You looked at him, raw frustration twisting his handsome features. Months ago this would've had your heart hammering against your ribs as panic flared through you. But you were eerily calm about everything, almost as if none of it affected you. "I have nothing to say, Ferid" you whispered, using his name without honorifics for the first time in days. "You wanted me to learn my lesson. I learned it. When I fight back or defy you I always get hurt in the process. I won't do it anymore. I'll be whatever you want me to be. Just tell me what you need" an unprompted tear slipping from your eye as it rolls down your cheek leaving a trail of wetness behind, a leak of exhausting grief. The sight of the single tear and your dead voice pulling the strings in his heart.

Slowly the anger drained from his posture as his hold on your shoulders softened, thumb rubbing soft circles on either side. He removed his gloves as he wiped the stray tear with the tip of his finger, licking away the salty solution with one swipe of his tongue. His touch was shockingly tender and devoid of the malice that accompanied him. "This isn't what I wanted" he whispered as he gazed into your face, eyes full of gentle sorrow. He pulled you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you once again, burying his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling deeply. He was trying to piece back the expensive porcelain vase he broke. "I'm sorry" the words came out muffled on your skin, he had never meant a sorry in his entire life but right here right now, he was in a dilemma on how to express the fact. "I'm sorry, doll. I went too far. I acted out because I'm a monster who forgets his limits and how fragile you are." you stayed rigid in his hold, his breath tickling your skin as you felt his distress and heavy heart. "Ferid..?" you whispered, confusion in your throat as you've never seen him so vulnerable and soft, it was uncharacteristic of him. "Don't be a doll" he pleaded softly, arms tightening around you as he threaded his fingers into your hair, gliding in a soothing manner. "Be angry with me. Hate me for the rest of eternity if you must, but please..not this. I miss everything about you, the way your eyes light up when you defy me, your smile, everything.. I promise I wont ever use a blade on you for my own twisted pleasure. I wont hurt you like that again" he whispered as he pressed his fingers deeper into your skin. He pulled back to look at your face, his eyes pleading and stripped of all its masked. He brought his face down to your bandaged skin, pressing his lips there ever so softly, peppering kisses on the healing wound as if trying to heal his harm. "Let me fix this, tell me what you want. I will do whatever it takes to comfort your desires" he whispers against your skin, "Just don't look at me with those empty eyes again, it aches terribly even for someone without a heart and soul. It feels as if something is clawing at my chest the more distant you become" he finished, seriousness evident in his voice.