#usermar

It was like time slowed in that moment and Remus felt squeezed into the tight space that was the three of them. Sirius, somehow attuned to his slowed pace, turned to see what was delaying him and finally saw his brother standing on the curb. He wished he could float away from his body and watch them both at once, instead of turning his head back and forth to read their expressions. He wanted to catch every flicker, every tense thing that passed between the brothers.

If he weren’t so attuned to Sirius, Remus felt that he would have missed the slight shake of the man’s head that finally occurred after what felt like hours of stillness. Regulus’ mouth pressed into a thin line and he closed his eyes for a beat longer than normal. Remus wondered why. For once he felt like he didn’t really know Sirius at all. What had happened between them? What were they saying to each other without the need for words? Perhaps it was something he, as an only child, just couldn’t understand but in this moment Remus felt like Sirius had been keeping something significant from him.

“You should go. Quickly. ” Regulus’ voice was hoarser than the last time Remus had seen him. It was the voice of someone who had matured, perhaps sooner than he had wanted to.

Before either of them could ask what the boy meant, a group of Slytherins came out of the shop behind Regulus. Remus recognized them instantly as a bad lot of kids. Ones who had been picking fights more and more recently with anyone slightly different from them. Sirius’ hand suddenly felt very hot in his and he knew they were in trouble.

Regulus had tried to warn them.

ii.

For about three hours, their Hogsmeade visit was perfect. And while running into his little brother hadn’t exactly been Sirius’ idea of a great first date with Remus, he wasn’t going to complain. Part of him missed Regulus and was happy to see him. Part of him even wished that Remus hadn’t been with them so that he could ask his brother how he really was.

His stomach twisted as he realized how fucked that was. Sirius didn’t want to hide things from Remus. He wanted to share everything with the man who was his best friend and hopefully more. He vowed that as soon as they talked about the shit that was going on between them, then he would open up about the mess that was his relationship with Regulus.

“You should go. Quickly. ”

By the time Sirius understood what Regulus meant, it was too late.

Any other group of Slytherins and Sirius might have felt okay. Safe, even. They still might have jeered at him, but because he was some sort of blood traitor not because he was holding a boy’s hand in the middle of Hogsmeade. Plenty of Slytherins were like him. It was the one thing he felt he had in common with many of them.

But these Slytherins weren’t the safe sort. They were the mean, cruel, and prejudiced in every way sort.

“What have we here?”

“Isn’t this your brother, Reg?”

“What is he? A blood traitor and a fairy too?”

In this moment, as their jeers became worse and they inched past Regulus who stood as still as stone, Sirius glanced at Remus. His eyes were hard and his mouth set in a thin line. He was still gripping Sirius’ hand, tighter even than before. He could have let go, Sirius thought almost in awe that this man was willing to be with him even if it meant facing this gang of Slytherins.

Spit landed before Sirius’ boots and he saw a wand being drawn out of the corner of his eye. He knew he should reach for his own, but Remus was still holding his dominant hand.

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” Boomed a voice from behind them. Sirius gasped in relief as James Potter stepped between them and the Slytherins. Always so dramatic with his heroics, but this time Sirius was grateful.

“Move along now, all of you before we report this harassment and get you all detention for the next month.” Lily’s voice was behind him and Sirius knew his friends had surrounded them. They must have been wondering why Sirius and Remus hadn’t made it to Zonko’s yet and come looking for them.

The Slytherins muttered some more nasty words at them but moved along relatively quickly. Sirius was almost amused at how easily they scattered at a Prefect’s threat of detention. But he saw them grab Regulus and pull him away too and felt a spike of worry. He hoped his brother would be alright with them. Regulus already got enough shit for Sirius’ choices. Even when they weren’t getting along, Sirius hated seeing him hurt.

After the group turned a corner and were out of sight, a collective breath was let out by everyone in their group. James wrapped an arm around Lily and Peter patted Remus’ shoulder. Remus didn’t seem to notice though, he was too busy staring intently at Sirius. His green eyes sparkled and Sirius wanted nothing more in that moment than to finally kiss him.

“Thanks for the help,” Remus finally muttered.

“Merlin are you alright? What did they do to you?” Peter asked.

“Nothing really, we’re fine.” Remus raised his eye brows as he said it, as if asking Sirius if that were true. He nodded slightly, agreeing with him but also forming a plan of his own. A plan to get away from their friends and be alone with Remus.

“I think we’ll just head back to the castle for the rest of the day though,” he said. The others only protested a little, wanting their friends to enjoy their day but understanding that the ordeal they just went through must have been tiring. As they walked back, hand in hand, Sirius thought that he was hardly tired.

But he had some things in mind that might tire him out eventually.

iii.

“Are we going to talk about it?” Remus asked as they made their way up the stairs to the dormitory. Although the nice weather meant that the Common Room was deserted, they had still bypassed it in favor of comfort and privacy.

“There’s a lot of things we need to talk about, which are you referring to?” Sirius sounded like he was in good spirits, which made Remus feel better. More confident.

When he had stared at Sirius back in Hogsmeade, he had wanted to convey that they get away from there. Find somewhere to just be alone together, like they had both wanted all day. He had wondered if it was mere coincidence that Sirius suggested they leave, or if the man had gotten and agreed with his message. It seemed to be the latter.

“Perhaps we should talk about what just happened first,” he said as he walked into their shared room and Sirius shut the door behind him.

“Those Slytherins were just bored and looking for people to harass.” Sirius shrugged as he toed off his muddy boots by his trunk. Remus watched as he then pulled off his thick sweater and the shirt underneath rode up with it. He wished it could just come off too.

“Yes, but,” he said slowly as he unbuttoned his coat and tossed it to the side, making eye contact with Sirius all the while.

“But?”

“This might be something that we have to deal with often if we, you know, keep doing this.”

They had slowly gravitated closer and Sirius was less than an arm’s length away from him now. Remus wanted to reach out and hold his hand again. He felt so useless without it. As if holding Sirius were what he had been made to do. Merlin, James was rubbing off on him.

“What is this?” Sirius was fixing his hair, pulling it back with an elastic that he definitely stole from Marlene. Remus noticed that he was looking at anything but him and he let out a frustrated huff at the man’s stubbornness. Before he could lose his nerve, he took Sirius’ face in his hands and forced him to look him in the eyes.

“You know what this is.”

Remus could tell that his voice was hoarse and he wanted to kick himself. Was it too soon to show so much raw emotion? Too soon to convey how much he loved this man? But Sirius’ eyes darkened and a small smirk appeared on his face and Remus felt that perhaps it wasn’t too soon. It was just the perfect time.

“Maybe you should show me.” They were bold words, but Sirius could only whisper them. Remus’ heart thudded in his chest and he let his thumb drift toward Sirius’ lips. Sirius’ smirk only grew as he did so and it drove him crazy. Just crazy enough.

“Fine,” Remus sighed. Sirius quirked a brow and started to laugh at him, but Remus cut it off with a kiss.

Sirius’ lips were soft against his as Remus kissed him slowly. For the first few seconds it was like any other kiss Remus had had. It was sweet and careful with his hands still gently cupping Sirius’ face. But as the seconds passed, they slowly came to life.

Tick. Sirius’ tongue traced Remus’ bottom lip.

Tick. One of Remus’ hands tangled in Sirius’ hair as the other pulled them flush together.

Tick. Sirius moaned happily into his mouth.

Remus pushed Sirius back until their legs knocked against a bed. He didn’t care which; his or Sirius’ it didn’t really matter when they shared them every night any way. Sirius hands roamed his body, lighting a fire in their wake and Remus reveled in the heat, even the rough callouses on the man’s hands were a pleasure. Sirius let Remus push until they were laying on the bed, Remus on top but pulled away slightly so he could take Sirius in. He was breathless and smiling and his cheeks were flushed. Hovering over him, Remus realized Sirius Black was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Tick. Remus was lost.

iv.

They hadn’t closed the curtains fully so the sun shone in more than usual. They had barely left the bed since yesterday afternoon when Remus had pushed him into it. Not that Sirius minded. He had wanted this all year. Remus kissing him, sometimes lazily and sometimes urgently. Remus running his hands up and down his body and through his hair. Remus whispering in his ear that he was wonderful and brilliant and every other flattering adjective he could think of. They had spent their evening snogging, laughing, and, finally, talking.

“I want to be with you,” Remus had whispered. He was laying on his back as Sirius sat beside him, slurping a bowl of soup Peter and James had brought back from the Great Hall. Remus had already devoured the sandwich they brought him, hence his lounging.

“You saw today what being with me gets you.” Sirius was almost surprised that he had said it. But he still hadn’t been able to shake the confrontation.

“I thought we already covered that it’s something we can deal with, if this is what we do it for.”

Sirius stared at him curiously. He used to wonder how much he felt between them was imagined out of hope that Remus shared his feelings. The look on the man’s face and the things he was saying now, however, told him that he had been wrong to think that. Nothing was imagined, everything was mutual. He smiled slowly and set aside his now empty bowl. He leaned down beside Remus and kissed him slowly, head tilted and thumb brushing along his jaw. Sirius knew he’d never get sick of him.

“I want to be with you too,” Sirius said.

And that was that. Something had finally clicked into place between them and they fell asleep for the first time as SiriusandRemus not just Sirius and Remus.

Sirius leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Remus’ forehead to wake him up. He watched him intently simply because he could now. It no longer mattered if Remus caught him. In fact, he wanted Remus to catch him. Wanted to see what the man would do when he saw how much the sight of him pleased him.

He drank in the slow way Remus blinked his eyes open. The way the morning sun emphasized the freckles on his face and the golden hues of his hair. The way he smiled when he saw Sirius watching him.

“Wait until James finds out we snogged each other before he could snog Lily,” Sirius finally said.

“I could hear the snogging perfectly fine last night so I already know, thanks!” James’ irritated voice filtered through the curtains and Sirius’ eyes widened in surprise.

Remus only laughed. His laugh was the kind that people wrote poems about. It lit up the room and Sirius happily basked in its warmth. When Remus leaned over to kiss him, a smile was still there and Sirius couldn’t help but smile back. They finally pulled away from each other, grinning like idiots, each happier than they had ever been before.

“Took you long enough though,” James said, almost as an afterthought.

Sirius rolled his eyes but he had to agree. It had taken them long enough. Perhaps, too long. But he pulled Remus close to him and vowed that the wait was worth it. He was never letting go.