#usermar

Remus didn’t mind when he wasn’t chosen as Head Boy.

Things already felt hard enough without the added stress and besides, now he would have more time to spend with Sirius.

He rested his head on his boyfriend’s—it was still so weird calling him that and yet, it felt oh so right—shoulder as the train sped closer to Hogwarts. He would have to leave soon to attend the prefect meeting, but for now he would stay here, happy and content.

Sirius pressed a kiss to his forehead and they sped on toward their final year at Hogwarts.

Toward one final year of bliss. Before the pain of a war would tear them all apart.

ii.

The first month of school went by faster than ever and Sirius was happy it was finally a Hogsmeade weekend. He and Remus had decided that they would stay in, sleep late and take advantage of an empty dorm room.

They had yet to go all the way—as Peter called it, complete with eyebrow waggling. But oh how Sirius longed to. He thought maybe with the others gone to Hogsmeade for the day, this could finally be their chance.

He pressed a kiss to Remus’s bare shoulder, relishing the softness of his skin against his lips. Remus turned his head and smiled at him, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

Sirius loved that look.

“Morning,” he said.

“Not quite. I think it’s already noon,” Remus groaned as he stretched.

“What can I say, I like being in bed with you for as long as possible.” They hadn’t spent a night apart since returning to Hogwarts. Even after the last full moon, Sirius had snuck into the hospital wing and stayed with him. Remus had been so pale, so tired, and still he had been cracking wise ass jokes so good Sirius’ sides ached with laughter the entire time.

Remus rolled on top of him suddenly and Sirius gasped. The mischievous smile on his boyfriend’s face sent shivers down his spine and he curled his hands into the waist of Remus’ pants, pulling him closer.

“I can think of some things that would keep us in bed even longer,” Remus whispered into his ear. Sirius’ back arched as Remus began kissing that spot on his neck. His hold beneath Remus’ pants to the bare skin of his hips and tightened. Remus knew what that spot did to him. It drove him crazy with pleasure but it also tickled.

“Enough,” he hissed before twisting his head to capture Remus’ mouth with his own.

Sirius often felt like snogging Remus was like drinking firewhiskey. It was warmth and pleasure and he couldn’t get enough of it.

The curtains on their bed were yanked back suddenly and they nearly jumped apart. They were comfortable with James and Peter catching them occasionally after they had been officially been together for nearly five months now. It was just bound to happen. But still some warning would’ve been bloody nice.

Sirius glared up at James, assuming he was about to hear once again about how James was worried about making a move on Lily. Instead his friend’s face was serious. That made him pause and he propped himself up on his elbows.

“What is it, mate?”

“Both of you get dressed, we’re having a meeting up here in ten.”

Then he was gone, leaving Sirius and Remus to ponder what was going on.

It better be bloody good for interrupting us.

iii.

Remus lay in his bed that night, mind reeling from what they had learned that day. After he and Sirius had dressed, James came back with not only Peter and Lily, but Marlene and Mary too. It had been odd, seeing all the girls in their dorm. He thought he noticed James looking between his mess of a corner and Lily nervously and found brief amusement in it.

Then Marlene shared the information she had with them.

“I’m good friends with Frank Longbottom, he used to help me with my herbology assignments,” she started. “We haven’t seen each other since he graduated last year so we met up for coffee in Hogsmeade this morning. He told me he’s joining an organization to fight You Know Who. When I found Lily and James and told them about it, they thought we should all meet here to talk.”

“It’s called the Order of the Phoenix,” Lily chimed in, “Dumbledore runs it.”

“Who else would,” James said.

The seven of them had talked about it for hours. What was happening outside of Hogwarts, what it might mean to join the Order. Whether Dumbledore would even let them join. It was a lot to take in. Remus wanted to fight, he really did, but a cold nervous fear had settled in his chest. What would it be like to fight a war with his condition? He didn’t voice his fears, even though he could feel Sirius’ increasingly concerned stare the entire time they talked.

Remus was still staring at the canopy above him when Sirius finally slipped into bed. He knew instantly from the way Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around him and pressed his face into his hair, inhaling deeply, that Sirius had decided to join.

“Remus, I—”

“No, don’t talk about it right now. Just sleep with me.”

So they did.

iv.

They didn’t talk about it again. Sirius thought maybe they would talk about it on Halloween. Or even on his birthday for Merlin’s sake. But Remus remained quiet about the Order, always walking away whenever any of them brought it up. It was driving him crazy.

The night before they left for Christmas break, Remus slipped into bed with a sigh and wrapped Sirius up in his arms. Sirius’ agitation nearly faded away as Remus kissed him and lazily ran his hands up and down his back.

They had had sex for the first time on Sirius’ birthday. It was kind of cheesy, he thought, but finally letting themselves belong completely to each other was the best birthday gift he had ever had.

He could tell Remus wanted it tonight by the way his teeth tugged at his lower lip and his hand slipped into his pants. And that’s when the realization appeared in Sirius’ head that they both wanted something. If Remus wanted him, Sirius was getting some answers first.

So he snuck his hands between their chests and gently pushed Remus away. The pout on his face was hard to resist but he was determined, dammit.

“I want you to tell me what you’re thinking about the Order,” he said sternly. A cold mask descended over Remus’ face and he rolled onto his back. Sirius thought for a moment that he might just stare at the canopy until he fell asleep and not say a single word.

“It’s going to be different for people like me, Sirius,” Remus said finally.

“For half-bloods? Remus the resistance is full of people like you, Lily is—”

“Monsters like me.”

“Oh.” Remus snorted at Sirius’ pathetic response. Of course that was what this was about, though. It always came down to this. Sirius understood, really he did. But it pained him to see how much Remus could hate himself for being who he was.

“Do you want to fight the Death Eaters?” he asked finally.

“Of course I do, but—”

“Then there’s no buts. We’re all joining the Order when the school year is over and that includes you.”

“I don’t know if it’s going to be that easy for me, Sirius.”

“Nothing will be easy, it’s a bloody war out there.” Sirius drew Remus back to him and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “But we’ll be together. And we’ll have Prongs and Wormtail, and don’t forget about the girls. They’re downright frightening, those Death Eaters should just quit now.”