Rewrote this three times, but finally just ended up summing it up to this (bc otherwise it’s full of triggering stuff and would’ve been long af)
Tw : allergies, gaslighting self, meds
we’re allergic to sensitive to pretty much everything, constantly sick, and have horrible chronic pain that were in denial about bc we think it’s not “bad enough” when really it is that bad. And we’re freaking miserable and as we’ve grown older, our issues have gotten worse and worse. They’ll only continue to get worse and most issues are permanent. So we’re kinda just. Fucked. We take pain meds, but have issues taking pain meds and don’t usually take them until long after we need them and don’t always take enough, so we’re constantly miserable. It’s getting harder and harder to sleep. We’ve gone to the doctor multiple times over the past 3 ish years. We’ve been prescribed meds and physical therapy and have been diagnosed with scoliosis (not bad enough to need surgery, but bad enough to need meds and physical therapy and make be fucking miserable). Due to various things in childhood, most of the issues are now permanent and we struggle to accept the fact that we are in as much pain as we are in bc we constantly gaslight ourselves into downplaying it.
so. Yeah. In short, stuffs gonna keep getting worse, doctors have found some stuff but don’t have explanations bc they blame it on our weight instead of taking our issues seriously even tho we’ve had them our whole life, chronic pain is a bitch, we’re constantly in pain and we’re always sick and there’s very little we can do about any of it. And we’re just. So done. With all of it. And so.. upset that a lot of this stuff could’ve been avoided, prevented, or fixed in our childhood but wasn’t… so we’re stuck with it for freaking life and most of it will worsen and has worsened with age
legitimately same here, but instead of scoliosis we have a defect in the base of our spine since birth thats caused our spine to twist and shit through development causing a hell of a lot of shit with so much more on top of that.
wishing the best for both our bodies, im glad i have someone to relate to but at the same time im not cuz this shit is not something id want anyone else to be dealing with
even the body's family hardly believes we're disabled even with the proof, which caused a lot of internalizes ablism and self-gaslighting.
you are enough, youre going through more than enough, what youre going through and your condition is beyond bad and you deserve help and support, as much as you can get, youre worth it and more /g
i hope someday this can get fixed or bettered for both of us, i hate the idea that its only going to get worse as time goes on truth or not
also, if it'll help any, definitely get aids. esp a mobility aid, as soon as i got my walking stick my fear of moving around/falling/dizzy spells etc lessened, it really helps to have the support no matter what ppl say if you want one get one and use it. that goes for everyone out there, if you think something will help you, in anyway make things easier for you, i highly encourage you get it. /srs
sending you guys all the god damn love cuz you deserve it <2
