#unebranche

Dragon Girl? That’s my favorite red! :D

Stay safe. <3

i-will-not-be-caged replied to your post “i’m going home tomorrow /stares at the news i’m going home tomorrow”

Good luck, hun. I just got back from Texas and I'm soooo glad I don't have to be there now.

pringlesaremydivision replied to your post “i’m going home tomorrow /stares at the news i’m going home tomorrow”

<3

thanks, guys <3

Animal rights have nothing to do with it, Iago was an is a dangerous little shitbag who would turn on me the moment it suited his purposes and I knew that. I had to constantly berate and physically abuse him in order to keep him subservient to me, and even that didn't last long.

Truly a conniving, deceiving little douchemango.

Man I miss that little fucker.

ELLEN! I have missed you! Judging by all the gorgeous photos on facebook and instagram, I would say that you are having a great time studying abroad. It makes me jealous every so often until I realize that I will soon be heading over these -- LESS THAN 90 DAYS! -- but still. I guess it is the principle of it all.

Back at the front, things are getting rainy and windy. I can't believe it is almost November! We only have two more weeks of class before Thanksgiving Break, and then that next friday begins our finals. I am starting to get a little freaked out...if not sheerly because we've yet to have a Bath Meeting yet. Yikes. When did ya'll first meet? I hope it was sooner down the line than ours.

I also registered day. I know. It's some pretty exciting stuff. I am pretty excited about my classes! I will be taking the standard fair of classes -- Cross-Cultural Learning, PE, Bible Elective -- but the rest of my classes are online. I will be taking Young Adult Literature and Latiin American Literature (Ay, Carumba!). Looking at our class itinerary, I will have, like, five days weekends. Is that normal? I forget how your schedule panned out over there...?

ALSO SHERLOCK PREMIERES OVER HERE ON JAN. 19. AND THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY FOR DOCTOR WHO IS RAPIDLY APPROACHING. AND THOR COMES OUT ON FRIDAY. Just needed to get my nerding over with. 

And to address the final aspect of this note's title, I will explain my panicking. Suffice to say that a few things have happened back at home with my family that has made my anxiety ramp up a few notches...which in turn makes me even more weary about studying abroad. I think it's the  anticipation that's really doing a number on me, but I am still unsure. I can't wait to here about what all you've been up to though. I know the vlogs have fallen short lately, but hey, we kind of expected that. 

Enjoy a week of rest after crazy traveling. I have a test for Adv. Comp. that I should probably take a look at, but the motivation I need is still evading me. Les Mis started tonight, so Emily is officially a show-week zombie until next monday. 

I had two tests this week.

And I work two jobs.

And an internship.

And volunteer at the YMCA.

And my camera is being stupid.

Given the title, I feel like what I am about to write is about to be fairly transparent.

Because I want to be a writer.

Technically, I guess I already am. I think I earned that recognition after finishing my first novel. Or I hope so at least.

But I think being a writer means more than careful attention to word count, cups of tea over revisions (for the twelfth time), and tears of anxiety when OH MY GOD I HAVE A DEADLINE DUE TOMORROW.

I want to be a writer because I want to point out meaning in everyday life.

I had a long conversation about this with Emily, talking about a potential manuscript that I've been working on and my NANOWRIMO works that I produced this summer. 

As you can relate, Ellen, I never feel like I am good enough. I don't feel like I am properly explaining ideas or settings to my audience. I never quite get to a point where I look at a piece of my writing and feel content.

There are so many stories that I want to tell. There are so many freaking genre stereotypes that I want to challenge. There are so many archetypes that I want to play with.

And I think I lost sight of that for a while, especially this summer. Sure, I was writing, but I forgot why I was doing so. 

While success would be wonderful, and fans would be freaking fantastic, I don't so much care about that as I do this one thing: I want people to come away from a book of mine or even a play and questions themselves. Because the best kind of writing makes you rethink things. It makes you question your comfort zone, and most importantly, it makes you ask yourself questions about your own life.

And for that reason (and a million more that I can never seem to verbalize, which is also really annoying), Ellen, I want to be a writer. 

~ M