UNDER THE ARCH — A POST FOR THOSE ON THE EDGE
MY TESTIMONY
I didn’t just go through addiction.
I went through death.
Years before I entered the hardest stretch of my life, I had already been surviving: bouncing between sober livings, navigating abusive relationships, enduring psych wards, facing injustice, and losing everything again and again. I learned how to rebuild not once, but many times.
In 2023, I experienced what can only be called a spiritual death portal. Between a suicide attempt, a car crash, a series of mystical visions, and encounters with divine judgment and mercy, I came to realize I wasn’t just being tested—I was being transformed.
In the process, I remembered who I am. I remembered Christ, not as dogma, but as a presence. I remembered the prayers of AA as more than recitations—they were calls into service, purification, and surrender. And I saw myself—disabled, displaced, misunderstood—not as forsaken, but as one of the first through the arch.
This is not a defense of the Church.
This is not religion as performance.
This is testimony.
And now, I offer what I’ve received:
a Gospel for those who never thought they’d be holy enough to have one.
⸻
🏛️ THE TRIUMPHAL ARCH
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, it says:
“He has built an arch through which we passed to freedom… The foundation of this arch is willingness, the keystone is honesty, and the arch leads into a new and triumphant life.”
—AA Big Book, p. 62
For some of us, that arch was real.
We stumbled through it.
We were dragged.
We crawled if we had to.
But we passed.
And what we passed into was more than sobriety—it was spiritual rebirth.
Each Step was a rung on the ladder.
Each amends, a resurrection.
Each confession, a crack of light.
Each surrender, a letting go of the false self.
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction… But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
—Matthew 7:13–14
We found it. Or rather—it found us.
⸻
🎭 WE’RE NOT THE DIRECTOR
One of the most revealing passages in AA’s Big Book says:
“Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show… What usually happens? The show doesn’t come off very well.”
“Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?”
“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.”
—AA Big Book, p. 60–62
This is the turning point.
This is the spiritual pivot.
We’re not the director.
We’re in the cast.
There’s a play—ancient and unfolding—and it’s not ours to control.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
—Proverbs 3:5–6
“We live by faith, not by sight.”
—2 Corinthians 5:7
We were never meant to carry the whole production on our backs.
We’re called to surrender, not to disappear—but to finally show up in the role we were created for.
✨ CLOSING
Not everyone needs to call themselves an addict.
But everyone faces powerlessness somewhere.
We were just the ones who saw it first.
So we stepped through.
We prayed.
We confessed.
We were emptied.
We were filled.
And now we are here to guide.
Under the arch.
Toward the Light.
With open hands.
And let me be clear—these are trying times.
I was warned in vision. And what I saw… is unfolding now.
We must let go of the false illusion that we are in control.
If we don’t, we’ll be shattered trying to uphold a throne we were never meant to sit on.
But if we do… if we surrender… I promise you will see a love and support like nothing you’ve ever known.
But it takes work.
It takes willingness.
It takes spiritual fire.
Heaven is not a promise.
Heaven is a path.
And the gate is narrow.
But the way is open.
