#undercooked analysis

Also, I forgot to mention I wrote & directed a one-act play last year. Recording of our read-through here: https://youtu.be/AKfFBZso35o

Other stories:

Watching Drew Die (non-fiction): http://www.qulitmag.com/watching-drew-die/

La Cueva de la Cabra: https://addtocartmag.com/2023/02/27/la-cueva-de-la-cabra/

The Room in San Carlos: https://www.hauntedwaterspress.com/the-room-in-san-carlos/

The Women Who Wear Black Hats: https://bangalorereview.com/2023/03/the-women-who-wear-black-hats/

Podcasts/Readings:

La Cueva de la Cabra: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEF_fMcrMU4

The Room in San Carlos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntlcFfc-kcY&t=4s

Many thanks to anyone who takes the time to read these.  Much love,

With Allen temporarily out of commission thanks to a blizzard, David and Kaela sneak into a story that's both Disney and Ritualpasta on a whim. How will this one stack up on both fronts? And will pulling double-duty help it avoid being stuck in the cliches of both categories?

Analyzing a horror story as always.

INKTOBER DAY 25

holy fucking shit

JTK REBOOT LIT TURNT FAM BAE SKWAD FIDGET SPINNERS 420 BLAAAAAAZE AKA the Jeff The Killer Story Allen wrote while heavilly medicated.

The year was 2753.

The immortal warrior Jane looked over at the sea of JTK-5000 Killbots that had been sent by the evil emperor. They all had wide mechanical grins and were made of white metal, wielding laser kitchen knives. Jane reflected on how things got to this point. She closed her eyes and remembered a simpler time...

The rules of polo are complicated and not at all worth getting into, but I found myself drawn to the lifestyle for all of the obvious reasons. The polo glamour, the polo glitz, and all of the world-renowned polo stars.

My name is Jane T. Kyler, I'm as plain as plain can be. I have green eyes, purple and blue hair, and super rad boobs what guys like. I'm a young lady but I think that I'm finally ready to have a man do sex on me even though I am so shy.

Of all the of stars of polo, none shone as brightly as the man known only as El Jefe. It was amazing to watch El Jefe's mastery of whatever it is that polo players do. I know theres a horse involved and a... mallet? Is it just croquet on a horse? Holy shit this stuff is really kicking in.

Anyway, as I watched El Jefe I felt funny in my front parts. I was feeling especially sexy about him and when he noticed me he tossed me a piece of paper with a drawing of a pee-pee on it. I knew I was going to be sexed harder than any girl had ever been sexed before.

I met him in private and he told me his name was Geofredo Asesino. He was super attractive like all polo players ahd to be to play polo, which it turns out is basically soccer played with long mallets on the back of a horse so far as I can tell from some light googling. He was so sexy and I was so sexy and all of a sudden our mouths were pressed together and I was touching his whole weiner.

Like Garfield the cat there was a strong hunger inside of me but this hunger was not for lasagna. Like that orange-striped cat hungered for pasta cake, I hungered for having a guys thing in my special place on top of a horse. We did that despite the protests of the horse.

I had earlier questioned the logic of lighting so many candles when there was so much hay about for the horses, but I was too shy and beautiful to bring it up to Jefe. Our fuck-undulations knocked over the candles while he was all up in my business in the good way. We humped for 20 min. and came together.

It was so hot, in both the sexy sense and in the sense that the stable was on fire. It burnt his face up bad and somehow etched his face in a permanent smile and now we kill people.

Then a skeleton popped out.

Of my vagina.

Holy fuck Hydrocodone isn't fucking around.

Anyway, back in the present and Jane has killed off several of the JTK robots but now finds herself backed int oa corner. Suddenly, the room becomes full of visible video distortion and all of the robots explode. Jane can make out two figurers in the darkness looking at her. Both of them are very tall.

"Who are you?" Jane asks, hyperrealistic blood streaming out of a small cut on her cheek.

The man stepped from the shadows.  He wore a nice suit. His white featureless face had an eyepatch over where an eye would be on a face that had features.  His partner beside him spoke for him. He was a tall man in an LA Lakers jersey wearing a gas mask with an enormous grin on it.

"This is Mr. S and my name is Freddy O'Neal but most people know me as Forenzik.  We're forming a group called the Paranormal And Supernatural Termination Alliance or P.A.S.T.A. and we're looking for members. If you want the position, you're in." Forenzik says.

Jane considers the gravity and franchise opportunities of what has been offered to her.

"I'm in." She says.