#trollpasta

PART I: rollbots lost episoad Spin the Killer

I is was HUGE fan of rollbots when i was a kid, it was my favotire show ever, everyday after school i would wach it on the tv and i loved it so much. My favotire charcater was always Spin and i wanted to be just like him when i growed up. Oneday after shcool my mom took me to a garage sale at our neibors house, he was selling lots of old stuff, i was bored. I looked around and saw some old webkinz plushies, but i didnt want them because wekinz is for babys anyways. Suddnely i see a amazing sight, i see a dvd case with a familar round red charcater on it… it was a rollbots dvd!!!! I broght it to mom and sayed “mom can i buy this plz!!!!!!” mom sayed “NO” and i sayed “PLZ!!!!!” before mom could say no again the neibor comes over and says i can have it for free. I sayed “REALLY!!!!!” the neibor sayed “yes”, i was so so so happy!!! I went back home with my mom and i went to my room, i put the dvd into my mini tv, the menu had all the episoads! But thing that made me confusde is was that there was a extra episoad at the bottom of the menu,it was called “Spin the Killer”. Thats weird i thouhgt… I thouhgt the tittle of the episoad was just a glitch, I decided to wach the episoad but i shold not of wached the episoad! The begining of the episoad was just like any other it had all of the charcaters i know and love, but was diffrent was the theme song had words now. But not normal words… scary words! The words sayed in the song were “Killer spin is coming!” “You hide now! He come for you!” “Time to die!!!” i was creeped out. After the theme song it shown Flip City than it zoomed into the charcaters. Captain pounder was talking to Penny about what they were going to do today, penny sayed something about doing training to fight Vertex and the bad guys. What was weird thing was that her voice was all echoy and stuff. Suddnely Spin busts down the wall, he is holding an knife. I thouhgt that was weird because Spin is a good guy! Spin than says “Hello friends! Or should i say… GOODBYE!!!!” His eyes goes hyper rellistic and Spin then stabbes Captain pounder with his knife, black oil goes flying every where! I was so scared! Penny screams and trys to run away but then Spin pulls out a chainsaw and chasing her. Lance then come in and sayed “Spin what are doing!!!!” Spin then slice penny in half with his chain saw, covering every one in oil and sending metal parts everry where. Lance got chain swa away from spin, but Spin then pulled out a gun and sayd” You cannot stop me weakling!” Spin shoot Lance in the face, there was a hole on his four head that leaked oil. I thouhgt i was gonna throw up… Suddnely Spin looked staright at me and sayed “YOUR NEXT SAM…” the episoad ended right there. The dvd went flying out of tv and nearly cut my head of! I toke the dvd and smashed it into one millon pices, put the pices in a shoebox and burryd it in the back yard. That episoad was so scary that i didnot sleep for two days. If you see a rollbots dvd at a yard sale, DONT WACH IT!!!!! You will be scared for your life……

PART II: RollBots Lost Episode: “Spin the Killer”

I had a horribly traumatic memory from when I was a child. It involved my all-time most beloved TV show. It was a show called “RollBots,” and I watched it every day after I got home from school. The rich themes within the narrative captured my heart at a tender young age, and the characters were all well-rounded and three-dimensional; as if they were real people I could meet. Far and away, my favorite was Spin. The heroic leader of the noble bots, his mission was to keep Flip City safe from the clutches of Vertex and his army. When I was but a mere child, I greatly admired the round, red bot, and I wanted to be just like him one day. Heroic, noble, and having shoes the size of my head.

When I was about six or seven, I’m not exactly sure, I was at a yard sale with my mother, and I happened across a DVD of RollBots. The individual who was hosting the sale offered me the DVD for free; not a cent did I owe. At that moment, I felt like I was the luckiest child alive. Luckier than a five footed rabbit with fur made of four leaf clovers. Oh, how my little heart did backflips within my chest; the endorphins rushing from my brain to every other part of my tiny body. It was a high that I, in all of my years, have never been able to replicate. Not with mushrooms, weed brownies, mushroom brownies, or any other intoxicant substance. However, my RollBots related ecstasy was not meant to last.

An utterly wicked sight awaited me when I put the DVD into my TV, one that would haunt me for decades to come. A truly accursed episode of my beloved cartoon; an episode that felt as if it had crawled from the depths of the fiery underworld itself. It was as if the pixels on the TV screen were dyed from the tears of orphans, the polygons making the characters’ models carved from the calcified remains of man’s arrogance. It was not an episode of my dearest cartoon show, nay; it was a foul hallucination woven by Lucifer himself.

To this day, I haven’t, and don’t think I can, forget the sensations I felt while watching it. The sweat from my forehead seeped into the panda eared toque I wore, the wispy golden hairs on my arms stood on end, and my eyeballs went as wide as wide could go. They were like emerald colored satellites; in that they forcibly received and converted the data from the cursed episode and sent it to be branded onto the inside of my cranium. If I were to have my head cut open, the image of Spin with a knife would be found on my cerebellum; no doubt about that.

At the same time, I’d found myself at odds with my disgust, for I was deeply fascinated by this episode. I’d had an insatiable desire to know more about this episode, and who could have possibly created such an abominatious affront to Canadian CGI animation. Countless hours were poured into scouring the bowels of the internet for any information on the episode, and countless hours proved to be fruitless.

My biggest breakthrough yet came when I returned to my childhood home. When I looked out into the backyard, the memory came back to me; the memory of destroying the DVD, as if I were Hercules slaying the Hydra for the benefit of the world at large. I had sacrificed my childhood innocence by subjecting myself to such a rancid episode, and so I destroyed the only copy I knew of to prevent any other innocent souls from being snuffed out by that foul thing.

The shattered remains of the plastic disc cried out to me from their, what I assumed at the time to be, permanent, resting place. Like a moth to a flame, I found myself drawn to the voice. I got the shovel from the shed, and I dug into the earth in search of Pandora’s shoebox. Beyond the everpresent weeds, the forgotten plastic bits of toys, and the unmarked graves of hamsters long past, I found the patch of ground where not just the DVD had been laid to rest, but my own childhood innocence by proxy. The shovel tore through the soil and tossed it to the wayside as I made my way down.

The sight of the withered shoebox filled my head with emotions I thought were only perceptible to the mantis shrimp. An overwhelming sense of relief washed over me, in knowing that I hadn’t imagined the whole incident after a particularly nasty sugar binge. At the same time, I felt a strong sense of hatred for the DVD that ruined my life. I scooped up the shoebox with the gentle hands of a mother carrying her firstborn child, and I brought it with me back to my new house. Far away from the memories of the past, and into new horizons.

Once I arrived at my humble abode, I set the shoebox down on my desk. I knew what was to come from such an unholy process. Tonight, I was to take the shattered corpse of the DVD, and reanimate it. Super Glue would serve as the sutures to my very own monster, and I was to make myself into a proper Frankenstein. The task was a delicate one, so I couldn’t afford to let my emotions take me over like I did all those years ago. It was mind over matter; and I knew that logic and reason would triumph over the irrational fears of a young child. I channeled my rationality into my hands as I applied glue to every edge of the pieces of disc, unifying them once more.

20 grueling minutes passed me by, as if the time had been late for school and had rushed out the door with toast in its mouth. I looked at my finished handiwork for the first time, and I shed a single tear upon seeing the disc whole once again. It was time to face my childhood fears and play the disc one more time.

I delicately inserted the disc into the DVD slot, the euphoria of which was comparable to a night of passionate romancing with your mother. The inner workings of the machinery within my TV did what was required of them, and they read the disc without fault or error. The familiar episode layout appeared on the TV screen, and taking caution, I hovered the remote’s cursor over the last entry; the episode to end all episodes.

“Spin the Killer.”

I brought down my thumb against the play button on the remote with the same passion and fervor of a judge bringing down his gavel after sentencing a serial killer to the electric chair. I braced myself for the episode which was to come. I braced myself for all of the old wounds which were to be opened by the re-exposure to the cause of them.

To my surprise, the screen was completely blank. The TV screen was as dark as a moonless night. No stars, no sun, no galaxy. Nothing. I looked at the empty void portrayed on the screen with wide, spherical oculars. The more I observed, the more I began to see. The faint image of a red-hued sphere began to creep out of the shadows within the TV, icy blue eyes peeking out from the darkness like a tiger about to pounce on its prey. A grin crept across the round face of the red sphere, bright white teeth shattering the monotonous pitch black with their glow.

“Hello, Sam,” A voice spoke from behind me. I whipped my head around to see what the source of the voice had been.

“Or, should I say, goodbye,” the voice spoke again. This time, I knew the exact source of it. The moment I turned around, I was met with the vicious visage of the red robot that had shattered my childhood dreams.

It was Spin, live in the flesh (er, metal?), standing in front of me. In his robotic right hand was a Teruyasu Fujiwara knife, the stainless steel blade reflecting the light above in an odd fashion due to its rough-hewn texture. At that moment, I knew the last thing I would see in my short life would be the juxtaposition of the slightly bumpy texture of the blade with the delicate calligraphy on the side.

“Spin… it’s you,” I ejaculated.

“Who else would it be?” He announced as he held out his mechanical arms in a triumphant pose.

“But… Why are you here? How are you here?!” I interrogated. “You’re not real! You’re supposed to be a cartoon character!”

“I have my ways, dear,” Spin answered with a scoff and a crossing of the arms. “I’m here because I have something to say to you.”

“What is it?” I furrowed my brows in confusion. The robot cleared his throat before speaking once more.

“11 14 11 24 24 33 31 53 22 14,” he beeped in a series of mechanical whirrs.

“What does that mean?” I questioned.

“Here,” he answered, handing me a sheet of paper. “Use this.” 

I carefully inspected the document he handed me. This is what it looked like.

“This makes no sense,” I articulated confusedly.

“It’s actually really simple,” Spin began. “You take the numbers I just said and run them through the cipher.” His black tipped finger pointed at the first tile of the square.

“I said 11, so that means you look at the square with 1 on the top and 1 on the side. Then I said 14, so now you go down to the one with 1 on the top and 4 on the side. Keep doing that until you’ve figured it out.”

“Oh, that makes more sense,” I articulated, knowledge-havingly. I decoded the cipher using the numbers Spin had beeped. Once I figured out the hidden message, all of the color left my face.

“Oh, my God…” I let slip, even though I’m a stone cold atheist. I believe in science, thank you very much.

“It’s true,” Spin hummed. “And I intend to do it to you, too.” He pointed the tip of his knife towards my colorless face.

“But… why? What did I do to you?” I fell to my knees and pleaded with the red sphere.

“It’s more about what you didn’t do,” He began. “You forgot about me.”

“I did?”

“Yes! You did!” Spin’s rather large sneakers squeaked against the floor as he paced around in front of me. “You stopped watching me and my friends. One thing led to another, and all of a sudden, no one was watching me anymore. No one even remembered my name.”

“No one? Not a single person?” I asked.

“No one. They were all busy playing Webkinz!” He shouted with a stomp of the foot for emphasis. “It’s like no one even cared about me.”

I bit my lower lip, realizing the error of my ways.

“It was horrible, being forgotten,” the bot continued. “It’s like I meant nothing to anyone. Not even you.”

“Me?!” I sputtered.

“Yes, you! Being forgotten by you was a fate worse than death. Worse than the heat death of the universe. Worse than pulling a hangnail too far! And do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I loved you.”

“Excuse me?” My jaw went slack as I did a double take.

“I looked forward to spending those after school days with you. I loved putting on a show to entertain you. You were my favorite human. I saw so much potential in you, and I wanted to mold you into someone I could be proud of. But you just… left.” The sadness was evident in Spin’s sapphire eyes, but behind the dual walls of blue was a burning hatred. 

“So I came to a decision,” Spin decided as he slowly approached me. “I’m going to kill you. Just like I killed everyone else. And what fun I’ll have doing it.”

Without warning, the robot swung the knife at me. I narrowly dodged it, the tip of the blade grazing ever so slightly against my cheek. I took several steps backwards, bumping against the TV that I’d forgotten about.

“Don’t make this difficult, Sam,” Spin taunted as he approached.

Seeing an opportunity, I kicked the robot in the face and bolted out the door to my room. I practically flung myself down the stairs, momentum working both for and against me in my plight down the flight. Once I had reached the bottom, I scrambled back to my feet and booked it for the front door, the sound of squeaking shoe rubber following closely behind me. I quickly shut the front door and locked it, my hands trembling as I fiddled with my keys. The tip of Spin’s knife penetrated the wood of the door, which was my cue to run for my car; a 2004 Vauxhall Astra that sat parked in the driveway of my house.

I flung open the car door, got into the front seat, and pulled the door shut once more. I slammed the keys into the ignition and peeled out of my driveway faster than a bullet train, not bothering to fasten my seatbelt until I’d made it out of my neighborhood. Before I could think about where I could go next, a single antenna rose in my rearview mirror, followed by a pair of navy blue eyes.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” I screamed as I lost control of my vehicle. I swerved into a wooded area and flipped the car over several times. The various objects within were sent flying; a travel mug full of days old coffee that I’d forgotten about popped open and splashed its contents all over the walls of the car. Broken glass pierced my skin, like the shadow version of having my ears pierced at Claire’s for my eighth birthday. Time seemed to stop, but also play in fast forward at the very same time. Such a paradoxical predicament would not go unnoticed by the universe at large, and so the car finally settled down in a wooded ditch.

I clamored out of the wrecked vehicle, battered and bruised from the experience, yet unharmed deeper than a superficial level. I rested on my hands and knees, trying to process all that had just happened. Numbers crunched in my head as I tried to reverse engineer the trajectory of the car and calculate the probability of my survival, but none of the numbers made any sense; not even to my intellectual self.

The area around me was an absolute mess. Copies of my resume from job interviews of the past lay scattered on the grass below. The cup holder between the front seats had popped out, revealing a cartoon shark imprinted on the bottom (I had always wondered where the hidden shark was on this particular model). Glass shards littered the ground like the workshop of an amateur mosaic artist. The car itself, my trusty steed in my quest to rid myself of the red robot, lay upside-down like a turtle flipped on its back. I shed a small tear upon seeing my prized Astra in such a sorry state.

My thoughts were interrupted by one of the rear doors opening, and a somehow completely unharmed Spin stepping out.

“Wow,” he remarked. “That was quite a ride, wasn’t it? Now, where were we?”

The red robot slowly approached me, knife still in hand. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming surge of emotions all in conflict with one another. Fear of my impending doom, rage at the betrayal of my childhood hero, thoughts of what I would say to my relatives if I had the chance, and who I would meet on the other side. But at the forefront of all of them, one emotion stood strong and true.

Logic.

I knew Spin was no match for my intellect. None of his dirty little tricks could even hold a candle to my divine wisdom. Not even one of those tiny candles that are put in jack o’ lanterns. Not even a candle made by the world’s smallest candlemaker for the world’s smallest candelabra. All of Spin’s candles were the smell of a body shop, while mine were the smell of cold hard facts.

So that was exactly what I decided to use to my advantage. I stood up and adjusted my collar before speaking.

“Fine, then,” I spoke. “If you want to kill me, then kill me. I’m ready for you.”

“Well, alright then,” Spin responded. “I just might have to take you up on that offer.”

“Yes, indeed,” I declared back. “But I have just one thing I want to say first.” 

“Oh?” Spin asked, bemused. “And what would that be? What are your final words?” I grinned with delight, as he’d fallen straight into my trap.

“THIS! STATEMENT! IS! FALSE!!!” I bellowed at the top of my lungs. Spin seemed taken aback by my outburst.

“Is… is that true?” He asked again.

“Yes!” I shouted. “It’s true that this statement is false!”

“But- but- that doesn’t make sense!” The robot took a step back, dropping his knife and clutching his head in confusion. “How can it be true if it’s false?”

“It just is,” I retorted with a confident smirk.

“N-no! It can’t be!” Smoke began to seep from Spin’s circular head. “It’s just not right!”

Those ice blue eyes, which moments ago had instilled fear into my heart, now had a look of utter terror on them. The frightener had become the frightened, it seemed.

“How does that make you feel, smart boy?” I asked the round robot, who at this point was now in a desperate frenzy. The circuits in his head were in overdrive, trying to comprehend my prior proclamation.

“This is… this is…” He stammered as his eyes jittered in place. “THIS IS ALL WRONG!!!”

Without warning, the robot’s head burst into flames, shards of metal being sent in all directions. His metal arms were blown off to either side, and the flaming remnants of his lower half fell to the ground; knees first, followed by the lower half of the head.

I looked on at the display in front of me, and I couldn’t help but smile. I had slain the beast with nothing but my wits. Such a feat, I believed not even the cosmos itself would be able to replicate; not even in billions of years. I had proven to myself, and the world at large, that once again, facts and logic prevail over all adversity.

Once the fire had died down, I knelt down at Spin’s lower half, removed his large sneakers, and put them on myself. I then began to walk out of the woods in search of the nearest gas station.