#two steves

Chapter 22:

Tiny Treasures 

“Stevie was extremely comfortable, both hands occupied by Steve and Bucky, Buck tenderly caressing Stevie's hair and face.

‘Here's your first child, a beautiful daughter!’ the obstetrician exclaimed, lifting a squalling, dark pink, squirming baby up for everyone to see.

‘Oh God!  Thank you!’ Stevie breathed, breaking contact with his husbands to hold his arms out for the little girl.”

starsinshadows asked:

❛ we’re on our own now. ❜ [Steve Harrington!]

     “Alright Harrington, you’n me. You’re the expert so- the hell do we do now?” He’s got to be dreaming. This is a nightmare he’s going to wake up from with a cold sweat and he’ll shower, grab a beer, and head to the track. Clear his mind and prep for the next class, plan the next meet, get ready for a new season of events. Except every time he takes a moment to close his eyes and steady his breathing he opens them to the same sight. Steve “The Hair” Harrington covered in sweat and dirt and- whatever the hell else is caked in his hair.

Me: it was one of the Chrises.

Friend: which one?

Me: ahhh... I think the one who played in the superhero movie.

Friend:...

Me: you know, the guy with the blonde hair and blue eyes

Friend:...

Me: the one who plays a captain that destroys a plane

Friend:...

The woman was explaining the backstory of Captain America to her mom in remarkable detail and saying how at the end of the movie he is essentially cryogenically frozen in the ocean and then thawed out in time for the Avengers. Her mom was adorable too, making all these cute ‘no way’ noises and asking questions. It was so sweet, I almost died. 

Anyway, she knew her stuff, clearly saw the MCU movies, knew the character. I was impressed. 

...until

She randomly proceeds to speculate how time travel would work in the Wonder Woman movie (they clearly hadn’t seen it yet). And I’m like that’s weird, but I’m a stranger listening to your private conversation, so who am I to judge?

Then she says “We know Steve can’t really die at the end of Wonder Woman since we see him in all the present day movies.”

And I realized she thought Diana’s Steve and Steve Rogers were the same character played by the same actor! 

For Holly

Once upon a time there were two old men. Their names were Steven and Stephen. Stephen was the more attractive of the two, as “ph” is a more sophisticated spelling. PH always had better luck with life than V. V usually went by Steve and worked as a mechanic who charged too much. He preyed on people’s ignorance and only gave discounts to men he found attractive. He also had a collection of taxidermy rodents.

PH also preferred the company of dudes. His long time boyfriend, Charles Beaverton XIV, had spent his youth working in country clubs and as a result of whoring himself to the highest bidder, the two were able to afford a luxurious lifestyle without ever having to lift a finger. Steve lived in his car, which ironically did not run.

One day, PH and Charles were driving to the supermarket and their jaloppy broke down. “Mmm yes we should’ve ridden the horses, my good man!” Charles neighed. “Oh goodness!” Exclaimed PH, “Not to worry, old chap, it seems there’s an auto garage just over yonder!”

PH and Charles sauntered over to the shady garage, grasping each other’s gentle, moisturized hands.

Steve saw two hot homosexuals skipping gayly to his garage. He greeted them with open arms, which disgusted PH and his lover. They found Steve to be unwashed, uncouth, and a tad frightening. “Hey dudes, what can I do ya for?” The lovers looked at one another, unsure how to answer. “Yer car ok?” “Mmyes. Well, no. Rather our vehicle is in dire shape, good sir. We would very much appreciate your services. We have more than a pretty penny to exchange for your trades.” “Huh? Oh. I see that there ve-hicle. Hold your horses.”

The lovers watched as Steve waddled over to their car. They could see his asscrack and it turned them on. They held each other’s boners and stared into each other’s eyes. “Shall we?” asked Charles. PH just blushed in response.

When Steve returned to the garage, he found two naked men greeting him with their perfectly groomed cinnamon coloured asses. He tore off his trousers to reveal the only part of him that wasn’t hairy as fuck. “Gimme that puddin’!” He exclaimed. Together they formed a train. Steve decided to not make the lovers pay for his work and the lovers decided to keep Steve as their third.