#tw rejection

this is entirely @ariesbilly’s fault, i saw their post and couldn’t stop thinking about this

(once again i’m not figuring out the canon timeline and what has/hasn’t happened. i’ll do that if i ever actually write this — also i’ve never run away from home so idk how accurate this is but you know what it’s fandom so sue me)

- billy graduates high school with a small sum of money he had managed to keep from his father (doing odd jobs for people and picking up extra shifts his father wouldn’t know about when taking his money for “being expensive to raise”)

- he leaves in the middle of the night with only his clothes and a few things he couldn’t bear to part with. he had stood in max’s doorway for five minutes trying to decide if he wanted to say goodbye. ultimately, he couldn’t do it

- he survives by staying at cheap, sketchy motels and doing odd jobs for people he meets

- he sells his car then gets a new one about a month into his journey so his father can’t use it to track him. he wasn’t sure if he was but he didn’t want to chance it

- his destination? california (he remembers his mother telling him she would never be able to leave that state, he was holding onto hope that was still true)

- it takes him six months to get there

- he finds the cheapest apartment he can and instantly starts looking for stable work

- it’s a few more months before he gets the chance to ask around about his mother

- he doesn’t know how to feel about how easy it is to get information to find her. she had remarried. had kids from her new husband’s previous marriage and a few they had together

- everyone he talked to about her only had good things to say. if asked he said he was the kid of an old family friend

- he had found her. found out where she lived. where she worked. where her husband worked even. but for some reason he can’t get himself to go to any of those places to talk to her. to confront her

- eventually she comes to his place of work, wanting to know who this kid asking about her is. she recognizes him instantly and billy once again doesn’t know how to feel about that

- he takes his lunch break then they go to a diner a few blocks away

(my phone crashed while i was writing this so excuse me if the dialogue isn’t that good — it never is my second time writing it)

- it’s silent between them until after the waitress brings their drinks then takes their food orders

- billy looks up at his mother, a million questions running through his mind. he isn’t even able to pick one to ask before she is speaking, “billy, you have to stop this.”

- it takes him a good ten seconds to form the words, “stop what?”

- “stop asking questions about me. stop trying to come back into my life.”

- he slams a fist onto the table, "i am your son! and you're trying to push me away? again!"

- "push you away?"

- "you left me. abandoned me with that abusive excuse of a father. why? to start a new family? one that isn't broken?" his mother stayed quiet. "did you even try to see me after i begged you to come back?"

- “by the time i did, your father said you didn’t want to see me.”

- “and you believed that?”

- “billy, please. people are staring.”

- “i don’t fucking care! how could you say that to me? how could you leave me there? and now, how can you just sit there and reject me?” his last question was quieter than the rest. his gaze fell down to the table, he couldn’t look at her any longer

- “i’m sorry but i moved on years ago and you should do the same. we’re better off apart.”

- billy didn’t even know how to comprehend her words. he had dreamed about this day since she left. them reuniting and fixing their relationship. it would take time but never once did he think she would kick him out of her life for good. he slowly looked back up to her. he could see it in her eyes that she didn’t want to see him

- “fine.” he gets up, blazing past the waitress coming back with their food. his mother doesn’t even try to stop him, doesn’t even call out his name

- he doesn’t make it back to work that day

- he does make it home, despite the tears streaming down his face. he doesn’t fully remember the drive or even getting up to his apartment. but there he is, standing in the middle of the tiny living room with fucking tears streaming down his face

- why didn’t either of his parents love him? why was it such a crazy thing to want from the people who brought you into the world?

- he feels so numb

- and a few days later he would decide to move on like she told him to. he would accept the closure and work on starting a new chapter of his own

Will  i still be a ghost that no ones see

Will  i still have crush who don’t like me back

Will i still be unattractive 

Will i still be in medium size 

Will i still feel like giving up

Will i still be seen as weird 

Will i still be seen as undateable 

Will i still be as the quiet girl

Will i still be seen as the girl who was body shamed 

it's something like that!! yeah!

George has never really been the one for commitment in the au, so he's always going about things and going around, seeking something each time! but it's truly just him worrying about the thought of being left behind or rejected that really makes his commitment issues spike.

Hope you feel better soon!

Wow fr you guys are being so sweet with these asks it’s really nice :)

Warning for a particularly violent initial reaction (and rejection), including Vaniglia getting shot by Mista

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