#tw pstd

Use the ghost of a dead character

This was actually the first entry I wrote for the event. It was like I got possessed by something. You could even say I was possessed by the ghost of someone. Just kidding.

Anyway, for day 17 you get more Toki trauma. Can be sort of read as a follow-up of yesterday's entry though it's not necessary to read that one beforehand.

Toki opened his eyes and he was in that goddamn basement again. He couldn’t count the days he had been stuck in there. At some point, they had started merging into each other. It was like it was one, huge, never-ending day. 

And he was chained, and he was bleeding. And his whole body hurt so much but Magnus’ words hurt even more.

“Nobody is coming for you. Nobody cares about you, Toki.”

@ofmymanymuses​

(If you try to say that im saying rando post makers are abusers or are abusing me, i diagnose you with no brain cells. That aint what im saying and youre not gonna twist my words for your gain.)

Keep in mind, you are on a FANDOM centered social platform, not a political centered social platform. Mayhaps consider that this event can be very triggering and terrifying to everyone, yes even the white people you hate. Its understandable that anyone, but especially individuals with fragile mental health/ anxiety/ptsd/etc, would not want to be involved with this event.

You are vaild if you dont want to participate in this event for any reason. I personally no longer can due to the act of police violence being incredibly upsetting and triggering of my paranoia. Youre not a shitty person or " helping cops" by not reshareing someones donation link, yes, you are a bystander and not helping either side ( unless you have previously stated you are on the side of blm), but you arent killing anyone or silencing anyone.

Keep in mind i am 1000% on the side of blm. Im mixed myself (not black but indigenous) and this post is NOT to delegitmize this cause or any attempts at stopping police violence or assisting protesters. Its also not to say you can be angry about police violence and racism, thats resonable. Its simpley to call out the irritatingly wrong approach so many people have to this event and resources that comes off as manipulating at best and ableist at worst.

a/n: sorry i’ve been so absent with my writing lately. but here - to kick off my birthday weekend, some goddamn pain !!!!

the last time you had been in a hospital willingly, your grandma had died in front of your eyes.

you had been about seven or eight, young but old enough to remember.

the doctors and the nurses were just too much for you.

the beeping & the flat lining.

the calls of every kind of medicine your small mind could handle.

their shouts and the breaking of your grandmothers ribs just to try and bring her back to life.

you didn’t want to burden your parents, or your siblings with your problem, so you rode it out like you did with everything else.

but well - that didn’t help you in later years.

especially when your father died. that was one of the most traumatic experiences you had been through.

so every time you stepped foot in a hospital - even a medbay - you would freak out.

heavy breathing and suddenly becoming light headed.

your stomach would drop to your feet and you would want to cry.

to scream.

but then there was carol.

god of course there was carol - she’s the one that would always accompany you to the hospital, to the medbay.

would hold your hand - her grip almost painful when you would start to pull away.

she knew why you were scared. why you didn’t want to go.

but you had needed help - the attention.

so she would always be there.

to place your face into her shoulder if you needed blood taken.

to play with your hair if a cut needed stitching up.

to place soft kisses to your cheeks, making sure that she cleaned the tears when a bone needed to be set.

you knew that joining SHIELD would come with this hazard, but having carol there with you.

having carol look after you.

made the hospital not so daunting.

made sure that your panic attacks were met with her voice.

with her presences and more importantly…