#tw panick attack

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

TW: hospital setting, mention of past torture, angry outbursts, paranoia

Villain had gone back to silence. Hero had almost cried hearing Villains voice again after so long, and an apology at that... but now he was back to laying stiff in bed, his eyes clenched shut and his jaw clenched. Like he was trained to just sit, to barely exist.

It wasn't fair. Whatever Whumper had done to Villain to make them like this had to have been horrible. Four fucking years Hero searched for their partner to find this. Four years of torture and pain Villain had to endure.

- Victoria is constantly exhausted, she’s less vibrant and passionate as she used to be. Very quiet and reserved. Which soon effected her grades and her parents became more harsh with their punishments and with what they say to her. To say her self esteem was at an all time low was an understatement

- she’d have frequent panic attacks in the bathroom if her grade was less then a 100%. Being the best was no longer a title she held proudly, but something she needed for her parents to love her and her will to live. It was like the need to breath to her.

- Victoria could usually be seen sitting with Eileen, mostly because her and Eileen were on good terms since the two of them were villains and the fact that nobody else would want to sit with her. Eileen was good company to have.

- Becky took note of her deterioration over the years, it was nice not having her gloat in her face all the time, talk down to anybody or get angry at anybody saying they were the best at something (Though they would get glares, but Victoria was just to tired to actually confront them). Which is probably why she hasn’t checked in on her till now. But one fateful day as Becky went into the bathroom to freshen up, she heard Victoria sobbing her eyes out in a stall.

- Becky contemplated on turning into Wordgirl in hopes that Victoria would better listen to her, but she decided that its better coming in as an equal then as a hero.

- Even though Victoria was hesitant and even annoyed that Becky showed concern to her (anybody who was the best wouldn’t need pity) but even her stubbornness and pride were fogged in the pure panic she was in. She got an 30% on a english paper. Victoria showed it to Becky as if it was her death warrant.

- It was a paper where she really didn’t understand what the purpose was, I mean why should the color of the curtains matter?? Even with proper punctuation and a good layout, she didn’t write about the subject the teacher wanted her to. (Which was the wording in the details and meanings in an already complicated book) So the best she could do is a 30%.

- Becky (while not encouraging) asks why Victoria just use her recorder and make the teacher give her a good grade. Victoria replies that it broke, that the recorder was so old and she used it so much when she was little, it wore out eventually. It was a toy recorder after all. (Plus Mr Big Industries discontinued it)

“My parents, they will kill me if they see this grade! They get mad whenever I get a 90%, i don’t know what they’ll do to me if they see that i’m useless enough to fail.”

“Victoria you’re not useless at all! You’re one of the most, if not the most talented person I know. I never thought i’d have to remind you of that.. By the way, if this is a ploy just for me to compliment you-“

“It was never talent, Beckface. It was never taking a break from being the best, it was constant all nighters, it was classes for everything 24/7. If i’m not the best at this dumb assignment, if i’m not the best in my class- Hell, if i’m not the best in my school. Then i’m just a walking lie.”

- Becky, unsure on what to do or what words will actually get through to her, asks if Victoria would like to sit with her and her friends at lunch. Saying they’ll help her with the paper so she can resubmit it (Violet was a poet so she’s good at finding the hidden details in text) and that they can help her hide the paper from her parents till then. Victoria agrees, anything was better then facing her parents.

- I want to end this on a happy note so- Over time, she did manage to get away from her parents and get therapy (her and her brother both) 👍.

Fact is, Enjolras's panic attacks don't come with trembling nor fastened breathing. He shuts down, completely, turns pale and as cold as ice and can't stand being in the open.

The first time Grantaire witnessed it, he'd just came home from a shift at the bar. It was late and he was sure Enjolras'd be long asleep, so he guessed something was off when he heard the TV still on. But the couch was empty and Enjolras was nowhere to be found in their living room.

He found him in the kitchen, sitting on the floor in the corner of the room with his back plastered to the wall, knees up tight to his chest and a lip bitten so roughly it was bleeding. What had him fear the most though was Enjolras's look, empty and distant, pupils so tight they could barely be seen.

He was beside him in an instant, wanting to comfort but so afraid to touch, drawing back immediately when Enjolras flinched at the brush of his fingers. Grantaire's eyes settled on the grip Enjolras's had on his own wirst, so tight his nails were biting his skin, even more strongly after Grantaire's touch.

His heart in his troath, he sat down beside him, well in his sight, speaking as soft as he could, calling him back slowly, oh so slowly. Tender and careful, until Enjolras found his focus back, tense shoulders crumbling down and trembling lightly, blue eyes blinking into awareness and melting with tears.

"Grantaire", he breathed, a pained gasp that had him falling within Grantaire's awaiting arms, and he let himself be held and lulled, Grantaire's warm breath and his soft aftershave grounding him gently.

He trembled under Grantaire's caresses, as cold as he'd ever been, nodding his permission when Grantaire asked to pick him up.

Burrowed into Grantaire's chest, his voice was just a whisper. "I can't talk about it yet", he said, "but can you hold me close?"

With a smile and a tender kiss on his head, Grantaire let him down on their bed carefully, bundling him up with their softest blanket.

He laid down beside him, holding him close, but Enjolras was restless still and his breath had Grantaire worried all the more, "What's wrong?"

Not talking, Enjolras prodded and tugged to find himself under Grantaire's body, sighing in the croock of his neck.

"Like this", he mumbled, more calm and relaxed that he'd been until then. Careful, Grantaire let his weight settle down on him, fingers brushing the tangled curls, "Alright?"

You have failed to meet the conditions of peace I have provided.

A message from Apolotopia has reached my nation.

You understood the consequences, yet you let your people betray you.

I hate to do this, but I'll do what I have to do. I'm sorry.

-President of L'Apoloburg

... w-what?

*And suddenly, every last string of hope they had left vanished in an instant, vanished like idea of a better tomorrow, vanished like the dream that maybe- maybe one day he could hug their sibling once again, vanished like the naive though that he'll wake up and this would've been all just a horrible nightmare. Vanished.

Before he could notice, tears began to burn her cheeks like a cruel reminder of pain. A!Tommy's vision blurred, his throat closed, and his now limp body was just a pathetic curling ball on the dirty floors of the cavern. Sobbing. Choking on air that refused to come. Alone. He never wanted a war, never wanted to hurt anybody, they just wanted their home back... their family back.*

No... nonononononONONONONONO NO-

W-what did I-I d-do wr-wrong...?

I-I thought... I t-thought I did- *A hiccup escaped his trembling lips.* Did everything r-right.... I-I...

I don't w-want this... I-I don't want thisIdontwantthisidontwantthis I DON'T WANT THIS!

In addition to this post I made a while back talking about Elijah's depression, I think it's best to add on about his fears and anxiety as well.