When Self-Doubt Is a Source of Stress
Have you ever felt so nervous to speak up in a meeting that you are unable to focus on listening and instead are stuck in your mind rehearsing over and over what you are going to say? When your boss asks to speak with you, do you automatically start catastrophizing that it must be because you messed up on something and are finally being found out as a crappy lawyer, doctor, project manager, etc.? When someone asks for your expertise, do you ever start panicking and then quickly refer them along to someone else you see as far more qualified than you? Have you ever felt scared to take on a new responsibility because you think you are at high risk of failing at it? Do you worry that you don’t live up to your public profile?
These anxieties are awful. They hold onto us until they become habits, keeping us hostage from our potential. They make us miserable and keep us from enjoying our lives. At some point, enough is enough!
This year, I adapted my live workshops on confidence-building into an online course: “Owning Your Value: 10 tactics to bust your self-doubt, step into your true value, and be your best self.” I surveyed the folks who signed up for the course as to their reasons for enrolling. The topic that came up again and again was anxiety. These very accomplished and capable individuals were sick and tired of the chronic stress and anxiety they felt as a result of doubting their abilities, and enough was enough! Some were tired of putting tremendous preparation into a project only to feel overwhelmingly unprepared when it was time to go public with the project. Some were tired of trying to make themselves small behind a podium when the spotlight was on them. Others were sick of consistently applying to the jobs that felt easy instead of the jobs they truly desired. The behaviors varied from person to person, but the fear, stress, and anxiety they experienced did not.
I’m challenging you today to pause the next time you feel anxiety like this, and ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Is your fear something about failure, being found out as unqualified or inexperienced, making a fool of yourself, or losing the confidence of your friends, coworkers, clients, etc.? If so, there is a decent likelihood that your anxiety (like that of the folks in my class) is caused in part by Imposter Syndrome, which is the belief that you are unqualified for the work you are doing or want to be doing combined with a fear of being discovered as a fraud.
Contrary to what many believe, realizing you have Imposter Syndrome is actually a positive step forward because Imposter Syndrome is very addressable through specific mindset shifts and practices. As my Owning Your Value students experienced (their pre- to post-course self-assessment revealed a significant decrease in anxiety levels!), and as I have experienced myself, you CAN significantly decrease your anxiety when self-doubt is at its root! The key is to first identify self-doubt as a source of your stress.
If you suspect self-doubt/Imposter Syndrome as source of your stress, feel free to reach out to me to get some help in addressing it.
