#trsr angst

you feel too nervous to answer but are grateful that your friend is calling you at this time, so you answer and bring the phone to your ear.

"[y/n]! hello? i was wondering if you wanted to go to our favourite dessert place today-"

a sob that you couldn't hold back bursts out, and you break into tears again. Junghwan stays silent and only speaks up when your cries seem to have slowed down.

"[y/n]... are you home right now? is it okay if i come over?" he asks.

you nod even though he can't see, and then croak out a 'yes'.

"don't hang up on me though, okay? i'm coming right now, but stay on the phone with me 'till i get there," Junghwan tells you.

you can hear rustling as he rushes to get changed. you hear his footsteps and you hear him lock the door. his breaths grow heavier as he runs all the way from his house to yours, non-stop, for seven minutes. listening to him breathing calms you down, and by the time he's at your doorstep, you feel somewhat okay enough to open the door.

the first thing Junghwan does once he steps inside and takes off his shoes is hug you. he hugs you tighly for a good few seconds, burying his head into your neck and holding you close.

when he pulls away, he looks at your reddened eyes and puffy face, pushes you towards the bathroom and helps you wash your face. you almost start crying again because of how kind Junghwan is to you, but you hold it in.

he takes you by the hand towards your livingroom couch, sits closely next to you and doesn't let go of your hand, still.

"[y/n], do you want to talk? about anything at all?" he asks, his eyes full of sincerity.

you take a deep breath.

"Junghwan... i feel so lonely and unloved. i feel like i'm unloveable, like i'm incapable of being loved, like i'm doing everything wrong, like there's no future for me and no point in anything. but at the same time, i don't know how i feel. nothing makes sense and i just want to disappear," you blurt out, looking at your feet.

Junghwan takes a few seconds to process your words before speaking up.

"[y/n], every human is capable of being loved and deserves love. your existence is enough, is worthy enough of you being loved. you existing is... what makes you important and valuable," he says.

"why does no one love me, then ?! why... i don't know if i'm anything to anyone..."

"people do love you. maybe just not in the way that you imagine or desire, but people do love you. your family, your friends, me, we all love you and are thankful for your existence. you mean the world to us."

his words calm you down and you feel all of your muscles loosening up.

"and one day, i'm sure, you'll find exactly the love that you're looking for. for now, though, use our love to keep powering through, even if it's not the love you want," Junghwan continues.

you look at him and smile, and he smiles back at you. when you pull him in for a hug and wrap your arms around his neck, his face turns red. he's thankful you can't see him, nor hear the way his heart is racing right now.