hyunsuk

daddy kink - I don't think I even have to explain anything. It's so obvious he has a thing for that. He literally gets turned on every time you call him ‘daddy’. That’s definitely his favorite nickname to call him in bed because it not only implies his dominance but also includes his caring nature. That obviously means he’s a soft dom.

praise kink - He would praise the fuck out of you. I think he talks a lot during sex in general, and most of that are praises. And he’s definitely calling you ‘babygirl’ (since he’s the daddy, duh). He’s caressing your cheek softly while calling you all sorts of sweet nicknames, saying how good you're making him feel. He also likes when you tell him that he’s doing a good job.

spanking - Usually on the days when he’s a little more rough. I’d say he’s more of an ass guy as well. He would grab your ass whenever he gets the chance, so he’ll make that chance for himself by fucking you from behind. I think he’d love to spank you once in a while he’s taking you doggy style. Sometimes he likes to roleplay that he’s disciplining you by doing so.

jihoon

degradation - In every way either by calling you degrading nicknames or his actions. He loves ruining you while having sex. Seeing your fucked up expression, smudged make up, red lips, teary eyes, flustered cheeks, it turns him on sooo much.

bdsm - Using all sorts of gadgets: ropes, whips, vibrators, clamps. Very much connected with his degradation kink. Besides that he uses his favorite gadget - his strong hands - to hold you in place, choke you or pull your hair. He won’t do anything that might be out of your comfort zone though, he’s very strict with that, and reminds you about your safe word once in a while (you don’t do it tho cause you’re a freak too).

boob play - He’s definitely a boob guy. Even when you’re not having sex he always has his eyes on them, and when he gets a glimpse of your cleavage he’s basically undressing you with his sight. When you do have sex he loves to play with them with his hands, or mouth. I think he’d absolutely master the skill of making you cum by just playing with your nipples.

yoshi

domination - Don’t get fooled by his cutesy and innocent idol persona. This man is definitely a domination freak. He would command you to get undressed, to get on your knees or touch yourself and he would sit back and watch, palming himself through his pants. Same as Jihoon he would also love to look at you while he fucks you, to see how much he’s ruining you. He would also like to pin your hands above your head.

rough sex - Hard and deep thrusts. Raw if he feels like being a little risky. No matter the position, he’ll always make sure that his pace is rough. If you’re on top and you won’t keep up to his preferred tempo he’ll just grab your hips and start thrusting harder from under you.

hair pulling - It makes him feel even more in control. Especially when you’re kneeling in front of him, sucking his dick. He won’t force you to take him deeper, but he will hold your hair tightly to remind you that he’s still the one who's in charge here.

junkyu

experimental - I bet he watches lots of porn and whenever he sees something out of his usual stuff he does with you, he would ask you to try the thing that he saw. It can be a position or a gadget he never thought of using on you. He definitely learned to make you squirt that way.

quickies - He loooves them. In between his midday naps, when he has a short break from practice, when he wants to take a break while working on his music, just really whenever he gets horny. His favorite position to do it would be with you on top, holding your hips tightly and controlling the pace, making sure that you feel his every inch inside your pussy.

boob play - Your boobs are his favorite fidget toy. Even when you’re just cuddling with each other, his hand would instinctively go under your shirt to play with them. During sex he loves every position which allows him to hold them in his hands. Of all places to cum he loves cumming on your boobs the most.

jaehyuk

possessive sex - I think he’s pretty vanilla but he will make sure that you know you belong to him during sex. He loves marking you, leaving hickeys on your neck or boobs, leaving bite marks. He wouldn’t say it out loud but while doing so he’s imagining how everyone that looks at your marks will immediately know that you’re his and it turns him on a lot.

doggy style - Fucking you from behind, holding you tightly, one hand on your shoulder, the other one on your hip. He would also slap your ass once in a while, hoping to leave another mark on your body (sometimes he really does). I think he doesn’t say much but when he’s pounding into you like that he may whisper that you’re his little slut.

handjobs - He really enjoys being taken care of like that. Especially when you’re showing him your boobs, he likes how they bounce a little when you’re stroking him. If he’s feeling generous he will also finger you as a reward.

asahi

multiple orgasms - He might not look like one, but he is a really good fucker. Thrusting into you at a perfect angle, making you feel his every vain from the inside. He knows exactly what he’s doing and he’s doing it right. Combine this with the fact that he’s most likely to put your needs and pleasure first. The result is that he will always make sure you’re cumming at least three times.

cunnilingus - On top of fucking you with his dick good he also fucks you with his tongue just as well. He would eat you out like he has masters in it, seriously no other man could take care of your clit better. When he adds his fingers it’s guaranteed your squirting all over his face.

light choking - The grip on your neck is not the strongest, it doesn’t have to be. He puts a little pressure on it, just enough to make you a bit lightheaded. His thrusts become more intense then. He loves seeing how your face glows with pleasure when he’s doing it to you.

doyoung

teasing - I bet this man is such a tease in bed. He would drag out the foreplay for a painfully long time. He won’t stop until you’re literally begging him to finally fuck you. Seeing you all desperate is a big turn on for him.

dirty talk - I think he also talks a lot when you’re having sex. His favorite part of dirty talk is giving you thousands of different nicknames. Depending on his mood he would either call you his ‘sweet angel’ or a ‘dirty whore’ and you never really know which one you’ll get.

cum play - It turns him on sooo much. That’s why almost always he would like to finish somewhere on your body. His favorite places to do it are your face, mouth and tits. When he cums in your mouth he tells you to keep your mouth open to make it slowly drip down your chin. If it’s on your tits he would spread it on them and then make you lick his fingers clean.

haruto

deep throating - I think he’s the type which has his needs and fulfilling them would be his main priority. As soon as you take his dick into your mouth he would start pushing your head to take it deeper. It always makes him make these deep groans.

mirror sex - Seeing how hot both of you look while you fuck turns him on a lot. He probably imagines you guys are filming porn. Sometimes he really wants to do that but always hesitates cause it would be too much of a risk. He also likes to hold your chin up to make you see that too.

overstimulation - Your legs shaking, he already made you cum twice. Yet he doesn’t stop pounding into you, hand keeps on circling on your clit. All he does is grinning confidently while watching you fall apart. Just because, cause he likes to fuck with you like that. Besides, he’s not stopping until HE is fully satisfied.

jeongwoo

foreplay - I feel like he’s the type to take his time with you. He would do his best to make it feel special every time. He would start by passionately making out with you. Then take your clothes off slowly. Bonus points if you’re wearing some sexy lingerie underneath.

mutual masturbation - I think he might be into it. He may initiate it instead of regular sex sometimes or incorporate it to his foreplay game. He would let you set the tempo and try to synchronize his fingers in your pussy to the rhythm in which you're stroking him.

positions - He would want to try all kinds of different positions with you. All because he wants to find out how he can make this the most pleasurable for both of you. His favorites would definitely be the ones in which he can hold you close to his chest, to feel how your body is burning up under his touch.

junghwan

thigh riding - You asked him shyly about doing it one time, cause you saw it somewhere on the internet and wanted to try it. You were holding onto his strong shoulders and looked at him with this blissful expression, surprised how much pleasure this simple friction was giving you. He liked it so much he's asking you to do it once in a while now.

size kink - It's no secret that he's a big guy (yup, down there too. don't ask me how, I just know) and he definitely likes using it to his advantage. He manhandles you and you obviously fold when he does that. When he does dirty talk it's usually about how tight you are.

You always dreamed of getting married when you were little, and when you first met Junghwan, you knew he would one day be your husband. But you were still young and navigating your adult life. You didn’t have things figured out, and you certainly couldn’t predict what the future would hold. The one thing you did know, though, was how much you loved Junghwan. Although it felt like yesterday when you were still sitting next to each other in your high school math class, scribbling notes on your graph paper instead of paying attention, you had come a long way the past four years.

You used to impatiently anticipate your adult life back in high school, wishing for your complicated teen years to come to an end quickly. But now that you were in the midst of it all, you could only reminisce how easy everything was back then. There was no pressure to pay the bills and no long work hours that left you exhausted mentally and physically after. Even figuring out what to eat every night had your mind dizzy at times. And you knew Junghwan worked twice as hard to make everything easier on you. 

You weren’t sure what time it was now, and you frankly didn’t care either. It was the weekend, and both of you were off work, which was a luxury you hadn’t had in weeks. It was always one of you that had an early morning shift, even if it was Saturday. But with work the last thing on your mind, the only thought in your head right now was your husband. Simply being able to call him that still made your head spin a bit. A dopey smile grew on your face at the thought and you reached out your hand to grasp Junghwan’s wrist, making his head turn to yours, finally realizing that you were awake.

“Good morning,” you said, staring at him with that lovely grin he would never get tired of seeing on your face. 

“Afternoon,” he corrected, smiling just as widely as you. His hand squeezed yours as he settled on the side of the bed. “I made us breakfast. Or is it lunch? Either way, care for some french toast?”

He grabbed the plate stacked with steaming pieces of fluffy toast, drizzled with maple syrup and berries, and you sat up, salivating at the sweet smell. 

“I burned a few pieces,” he admitted regretfully. “But I’ll eat those ones.” 

“I can barely tell they’re burnt,” you pointed out, finding his thoughtfulness endearing regardless. The first bite of warm cinnamon toast, tart berries, and sweet syrup bursted with flavour in your mouth, and you hummed in satisfaction. 

Junghwan stared at you fondly, committing everything to memory as if the moment was too precious to let it slip away from his grasp. He was always taken by your beauty, whether it was a slow weekend morning or the day of your wedding. You always looked like an angel in his eyes. Your messy hair, bare face, and baggy clothes did nothing to take away from your excited eyes at eating his food, and it warmed his heart knowing you would be there next to him for the rest of his life. You would be a team through all the highs and lows of life. That was marriage, after all. 

2013. 07. 10

“Junghwanie? What’s wrong?”

Jungwhan could barely look up at you. You watched the boy’s shoulders slump over as he sat on the wood surface, feet bleakly swinging in the air. Dirt and grass littered and stained his knees and elbows.

“Some older kids took my soccer ball—they called me a twerp, too.” Tears welled up in Junghwan’s eyes. It made your heart sink. You jumped up to sit beside him as Junghwan sniffled, snot running down his nose. “Jeongwoo’s trying to get it back for me.”

Your eyes narrowed, watching the older boys further down the field. Two of them kicked the ball between them, while a third held your twin brother by the head in a rough noogie. Seeing it all made your blood boil, your fists shake. Your mom told you about bullying before; how you should never do it, and how you should always help others if they’re being bullied. Your fists balled up tighter and tighter. You needed to help Junghwan. 

You glanced down at your tiny fists. What could you do? You couldn’t do anything. You were just a weak kid. 

An idea spurred in your mind. You scooted closer to the boy beside you. Fiddling with the pink, frilly fabric, you slowly slid off the elastic hung snug against your wrist Maybe you couldn’t fight off some scary middle schooler, but you could at least do this. 

“Here,” You hovered the pink scrunchie in front of Junghwan, a small smile lining your lips as you faced him. “You can have this. Maybe this will cheer you up.”

Junghwan’s eyes widened. “Your scrunchie—isn’t this your favourite?”

“I know, but it makes me happy—hopefully it makes you happy, too!” A grin stretched across your face. 

Junghwan gulped, head still hanging low. His face flushed into a deep red as his eyes flit back and forth between you and his feet. The redness spread onto the shell of his ear as he hid his face beneath his dirtied forearm. 

“Thanks, y/n.” Junghwan finally smiled, your chest sinking in relief. 

2024. 08. 20

“Did we leave anything in the car?” Jeongwoo’s exhaustion spilled through his voice as he cradled his neck with both hands. 

“Don’t think so,” Sweat beaded from his temples as Junghwan hunched forward, gently dropping the cardboard box at his feet. He straightened up, using a forearm to wipe his forehead, pushing back his hair in the process. Junghwan turned to you, an awkward smile lining his lips. “Did you see anything, y/n?”

“Nope.” you pursed your lips, fiddling with a loose piece of tape on one of Junghwan’s miscellaneous boxes—a box you sat on as you unloaded Junghwan’s belongings into his new dorm. 

“Thank fuck,” Jeongwoo heaved a very sigh before plopping onto Junghwan’s new bed, treating it like his own.

So Junghwan—your brother’s best friend, and the youngest of you three—was on his way to begin a new chapter in his life; university. And now, Junghwan was moving to an entirely different city in order to attend university; your university, to be exact. 

He was moving away from his best friend, and moving closer to you—a peculiar set up, considering how far you two had drifted within the past few years. 

So Junghwan was a staple in your life during your childhood. It was you, him, and your brother against the world. The three of you didn’t need anyone else as you went on your daytime adventures to the neighbourhood playground; spending your measly allowance on snacks and sweets from the convenience store down the road from your homes; running away from the dreaded reality of chores and homework. 

Even if the boys were closer, it didn’t stop you from cherishing your friendship with Junghwan; You’d always tag along whenever Jeongwoo would visit his house, you'd bring extra snacks to school just for him. He felt the same, always welcoming you with a warm smile. You babied him, spoiled him silly. He was a year your junior, after all—how much he contrasted against your mischievous, prankster brother didn’t help, either. He was the only one of your brother’s friends you genuinely cared for. 

Once you entered highschool, however, the distance between you two only grew. Junghwan talked to you less, reserving all his attention to girls in his class and your own brother. Soon enough, the childhood trio you grew up with began to dissolve, fade away—leaving the infamous duo, and you in its wake. 

You decided to just shrug it off, opting to focus on your own life, your own friendships. Maybe he got tired of you. Maybe it was just a part of growing up.  

Maybe you were just the girl who babied him too much.

Which brings you back to the present, in which you were helping Junghwan move into his university dorm. Not because you were friends, but because you so happened to be the only one in the area. 

“Think I’m gonna head out.” Jeongwoo abruptly huffed out, shaking you back to reality. In one swift movement, Jeongwoo slid his car keys off the wood of the desk and looped them around his finger. Rising up at the foot of Junghwan’s mattress, Jeongwoo spun the clanking metal around before catching it with the rest of his hand. Junghwan followed suit, arms automatically up and out for your twin brother. 

You watched as the boys hugged and said their goodbyes. You couldn’t help but smile at the heartwarming sight. For second, it made you forget about this very very awkward set up. 

“Bye, loser,” Jeongwoo hummed into the crook of your neck as you hugged your brother goodbye. You glanced up, your eyes making contact with Junghwan’s frame. Your eyes trail up, noticing Junghwan’s eyes flit away from what looked like your direction, and his adam’s apple erratically bobbing up and down. You furrow your brows, taking note of the redness spreading over the curve of Junghwan’s ear. 

With a slam of the door, Jeongwoo was gone—and only then did your entire body freeze. 

You and Junghwan stood stagnant in the middle of his cramped dorm room. Awkward silence filled the air—filling your lungs and suffocating your chest. That's what you told yourself, anyway. You totally weren’t finding excuses to not talk to the boy you haven’t talked to in years. Totally. 

Only now have you gotten a proper chance to really look at Junghwan; really capture how much he's changed since you last saw him. This was probably his third growth spurt by now, with the way his figure towered over you. You studied the way his chestnut hair fell gently below his eyes, and how it was parted not at the middle, but slightly to the left. You caught a few glimpses of his broad shoulders—his built frame peeking through his campus sweater. You pinched yourself. Who cares if Junghwan grew up a little?

You cleared your throat. No. No matter how awkward all this was, how rocky your history was; you still needed to be strong, reliable. Junghwan was still your junior, after all. 

“So, you excited?” you wanted to slap yourself. What kind of question was that?

“Yeah,” Junghwan hummed a chuckle, maybe out of pity. You weren’t sure. “A little nervous, though.”

“Why? ‘Cause of classes?” You were just trying to make conversation, but maybe a part of you was concerned. Old habits die hard, anyway. 

Junghwan paused for a few long seconds, rubbing the nape of his neck. “Right. Classes.”

Your eyes furrowed at his weird, hesitant tone, but you brushed those thoughts away. You shine a bogus smile his way—the brighter the smile, the more convincing the lie. “Well, you can always ask for help!”

Junghwan hummed another smile—this time softer, more fragile. More genuine. His eyes never daring to let go of your frame. It made you insanely self aware of your own skin, your own being. You were being read like a book; though you doubt it was much of a page turner. You instinctively shield your torso with your crossed arms.

“It’s good to see you again, y/n.”

You stammered over his words, his very unexpected words. “Oh, uh, you too.”

Another blanket of silence fell on top of you, giving you ample time to reset; to compose yourself from the mess you were becoming. You cleared your throat, eyes darting straight towards the window. Junghwan, meanwhile, tucked both hands in his back pockets, eyes doing all they can to avoid your line of sight, as he sucked in air through his pursed lips. 

“I guess I should head out, too—”

Junghwan pivots to you, hurried. 

“Actually—I do have a favour to ask.”

“He asked you for a campus tour?” Your friend Winnie asked before popping a comically large cheeto in her mouth. Her munches and crunches filled the air of your shared apartment as you sunk into the couch—utterly defeated. 

“And I said yes,” You whined into the fabric of your throw pillow. 

Winnie only giggles, popping another chip and munching happily. “Girl, relax. You’re literally the only person he knows right now. Better to go with you than be lost on the first day.”

You grumble. You hated how level-headed she was. “But everything’s gonna be so awkward. We haven’t talked in years—”

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward,” Winnie shrugs. 

You could only groan. Winnie was right, you were being dramatic. So what if So Junghwan suddenly trudged back into your life, after leaving without a trace. You should be totally normal about this. 

You slap yourself back to reality as you roll your limp body over, finally catching your breath after covering your face with the pillow. You flit your phone open, fiddling with the first arbitrary app you come across. Winnie does the same before her voice peaks up again. 

“So, what about Eunhyeok?”

Your ears barely drown out the looped audio of the internet video plastered on your phone screen as your mind draws to a blank. “...Who?” 

Winnie’s eyebrow cocks to the sky. “Eunhyeok. The guy from social econ last year? Mr. ‘first talking stage in forever?’”

Your eyes widen. Right. Your mind has been so occupied with the new school semester starting and helping Junghwan move cities that you completely forgot about your date next week with Kwon Eunhyeok —a guy you only shared 

one (1) class with before finding him on a dating app last month. You heave a sigh, leaning back on the plush of the couch as more weight has been added to the boulder of burden on your shoulders. 

“Don’t tell me Mr. "Freshman’s’ got you all distracted, now.” Winnie teased, a stupid grin contaminating her face. You roll your eyes. “Oh, shut up.”

“My girl’s the main character of a love triangle, ooh!” Winnie pestered, belting a laugh as you groaned in response, making your way towards the kitchen. You swing the fridge door open, letting the cool air refresh you as you reach in to grab a can of soda. Maybe that would alleviate the burning rush of your cheeks. 

Would it stop your erratic heart beat, too? 

“Over here is the campus gym,” Winnie jutted her finger towards the building on her right, large windows showcasing the different gym equipment scattered all over the floor. Her arm then pivoted, pointing straight towards the open bed of grass, basking in the afternoon sun. “This is the field—it’s supposed to be where the teams practice, but really students come here when they wanna skip.” 

You and Junghwan, at opposite ends of Winnie's shoulders, laugh timidly. You knew you had to give Junghwan a tour today, but you also knew you needed some kind of assistance. It was the only way you'd come out of this alive, sanity unharmed. So, you let Winnie take the lead, letting yourself hide in the sidelines. 

“That being said, I better not catch you here!” Winnie jabbed a finger towards Junghwan’s chest, to which he responded by holding up both hands in surrender, eyes flitting back to you for a split second. “Yes, ma'am!”

“Hey, y/n!” a voice closely trailed behind Junghwan’s boom of a voice. The voice was faint, as if it was carried and coddled by the wind. Filtered through the breeze. Nevertheless, you could tell it was coming from the direction of the field. Your head shot up towards the air, your eyes landing on a small huddle of guys at the centre of the grass. The one in the middle rolled a soccer ball between his foot and the grass, while the other two kicked at the grass, hands shoved deep in their pockets. As you walked closer to the field, the man in the middle began to look more and more familiar. It was Kwon Eunhyeok. 

Eunhyeok had a cheeky grin plastered on his face as he waved his hand in a ‘come here' motion. “You wanna play?”

You couldn't help but furrow your brows. You've never told him anything about liking or playing sports—because you definitely didn't. “Um…”

“It's 2v2, but we need one more player. Wanna join?” 

You hugged your shoulders, looking around aimlessly. Though really you were just looking for an apt escape. “I dunno—”

“I'll do it.”

Everyone’s heads snapped towards the timid freshman, who’s voice had finally spoken up after staying quiet for an abnormally long time. One hand lazily in the air while the other fiddled with belt loops in his pants. Silence swiftly fogged over the group as the boys looked at each other. 

“You don't have to,” you tried to butt in. You didn't want to bother him with this, nor did you even want to stay out here any longer.

Besides, the idea of Junghwan and Eunhyeok interacting shot a weird feeling down your stomach.

“I’ll be fine,” Junghwan shot a quick yet soft smile at you, and you gulped; his eye smile suddenly making you feel the need to drink water. Slowly, Junghwan slid off the straps of his backpack and dropped it onto the grassy field, his black zip up hoodie quickly following suit. You unfortunately took note of his newly revealed short sleeves—not too tight, yet not too loose—and, now, you really wished you had some water on you.

When you snap back to reality, the boys make their decision, welcoming the freshman into their group easily. “Alright, man. Let’s play!”

The breeze was cold against your skin. 

You sat dead centre of the vast campus quad, knees tucked in against your chest, your chin hammocked on your knuckles as they clung onto your kneecaps. You weren’t exactly sure why you stayed to watch those boys play soccer. Heaven knows you didn’t enjoy it, and Winnie wasn’t even around anymore. Instead, she was allowed to hide away in the safe haven of her evening class. Lucky.

You glance up, eyes latching onto Junghwan, who was currently locked in the game. His back was hunched over as he clung onto his knees, sweat pooling on his shirt. 

You weren’t exactly sure why you stayed, but something in you told you to stay—and your body obeyed like a puppet to its strings, apparently.

Junghwan doesn’t wait long. A few seconds later, he’s back with the main group, tossing the soccer ball and pushing the tall blades of grass beneath it. Nevertheless, your eyes linger— stupidly so. They linger as his hair flies against the wind, brushing entirely away from his face. They watch Junghwan’s broad shoulders practically shining through his supposedly loose t-shirt, the way his back tensed beneath each and every movement. You watch his muscles flex as he ran to the ball. You gulp. Has he been working out that much since you last talked? 

A huge smile swipes across his face, his eyes lost in the crescent moons of his eye smile. Your heart skips a beat. 

You choke. You didn’t find Junghwan attractive, did you? 

You wonder where that cold breeze went. It would’ve been helpful in calming down your skin—which was currently being lit on fire. 

“HEADS!”

The boom of Eunhyeok’s voice shook you to reality *thank god*. The ball had seemingly lost control, soaring through the air like a deadly shooting star. Everyone else had already run to take cover. their arms enveloping their heads in makeshift helmets. All except one; Junghwan, who was now standing still in the middle of  the field, facing you. Too bad the ball was, in fact, heading in his direction. 

THWACK!

The ball struck head first against Jungwhan’s, well, head. The taut rubber smushed Junghwan’s nose, definitely bruising something. It sent the poor freshmen straight to the ground, blades of dead grass shooting up into the sky upon impact. 

The boys only stood around in shock, only taking a few steps towards Junghwan’s body. You, on the other hand, sprinted towards him. You weren’t sure why, but it felt like second nature. You helped the freshman gently sit up into a sitting position, immediately scanning his face and head for prominent and dangerous injuries. Aside from some scratches and light bruising along his cheeks, there was nothing. You rolled out a sigh of relief. 

“Hi,” Junghwan peeked through his fallen bangs, voice soft and timid.

“Hi,” your lips curled into a smile without realising, your mind suddenly forgetting all your recent qualms of late. “I have a first aid kit at my place, should we stop by?”

Junghwan sucked air through his teeth sharply, eyes crinkling shut as he winced from the pain of the ointment. You felt his large hands cling onto your wrists, desperate for you to stop the torture. However, you could tell Junghwan was still restraining himself from using his full strength on you. 

“Ouch!” Junghwan yelped. Again. 

“How does this hurt more than the ball?” 

Junghwan pauses, cheeks suddenly turning rosy. “It burns, okay!”

You only sigh. “I’m almost done, anyway. Just stay still.”

You bickered back and forth. It was odd. This was the most you talked to So Junghwan in over 3 years—but it all felt natural. You weren’t sure why.

After Junghwan finally decided to comply, you finished the last of ointment application, and sealed each wound with a bandaid. Wiping off the excess with a tissue, you let Junghwan go. 

Except he didn’t. He stayed there, face inches away from yours as you sat on the plush of your bed. Your knees rested against his hip; it was the only way you could balance without the use of your hands. You felt his breath graze against your cheek; short and shallow. It reminded you to breathe. Junghwan gazed up at you, his eyes glistened amidst the ebony skyline shining through your bedroom window—never daring to let your eyes go. 

That familiar odd feeling whirled in your stomach again. 

After clearing your chest, you both bounce away from each other, eyes finally severing their connection. Your feet hung off the edge of the bed while Junghwan rested further back on his outstretched arms. You watched as his hand tensed and relaxed, crinkling the fabric of your bedsheets. 

“There,” you muttered meekly. “You’re all good.”

Junghwan stared blankly, grazing a light finger across his newly patched up wounds. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” you purse your lips. 

Long gone was the laid back, relaxed feeling you had earlier. You stood up from the bed, dragging the bedsheet down slightly before packing up the first aid kit and hiding it away in your closet. 

Even now, you're still the girl that babied him too much. 

Junghwan hung his head low, fiddling with his thumbs before slowly lifting his eyes back up to face you. He hesitated for a bit, lips parted before he remembered to take a breath. A deep breath. 

“You still take care of me, huh? Even after all these years.”

Your eyes grow wide at Junghwan’s words. What was he talking about? Was he referring to all those times back when you were kids? Those moments you swore to forget. Those moments that came hurdling back into your stubborn little brain the moment Junghwan enrolled in your university. 

You purse your lips before uttering softly. “I thought you forgot about that.”

Junghwan softly grins, “How could I?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, your heart bouncing beneath your ribs. It makes a nervous leap, getting stuck in your windpipe. What did he mean by that?

“Well, it’s been a while” You kept your eyes on the evening skyline, each apartment light shining like a star in the night. Nevertheless, you watched Junghwan through your peripheral vision. You watched as his eyes finally let go of your frame, his head once again hanging low. 

“It really has,” Junghwans voice didn’t reach past a whisper. 

The room was enveloped in—you guessed it—awkward silence. You’d think you’d build some kind of immunity to it at this point, but that wasn’t the case. You still managed to suffocate. You turn to fully face Junghwan, whose expression turned flat, stoic. He stood up from the bed, bedsheets leaving an imprint of his frame. 

“Maybe we can restart?” He asks

You blink, gulping once more. So Junghwan—the boy you spent your whole childhood with, the boy who disappeared from your life without a trace. The boy you babied too much. So Junghwan wanted a second chance. 

Your mind thought it was crazy. Too bad you never listened to it. 

“Sure.”

“You’re going on a date?” Junghwan asked, sipping on a juice box he insisted he’d pay for as you trudged your way home. Well, your home, to be exact. Junghwan also insisted he’d walk you and Winnie home after all your classes. Seems like Junghwan was taking this second chance thing seriously. 

“Yeah, and guess what?” Winnie chimed in, as preppy as usual—she was always like this when it came to your love life, though there wasn’t much to report. “It’s with that Eunhyeok guy—the one from the field the other day. You remember him?”

Suddenly, Junghwan’s face turns serious, stoic, as his eyes trail the sidewalk. He sipped until bubbles popped inside his straw. “Yeah. I do.”

You were sandwiched between their two figures, quietly sipping your soda. You raise your hand and wave it frantically. “Can we stop talking about it? It’s not a big deal.”

“Tell me you’re at least a little excited about it?” Winnie tilted her head, her bangs falling over her long eyelashes. You bit your lip, glancing over at Junghwan, whose wide eyes suggested he was curious about this, too. 

“Yeah, I—AH!”

Your undone shoelaces saved you the burden of having to lie. The strings scattered across the pavement, landing right in front of the area you were going to take your next steps. The front of your sneaker had clung onto your other shoe’s laces, causing you to trip on your own two feet—like an idiot. You only wince, squeezing your eyes shut to brace for impact before you hit the ground. 

You’d hit the ground. Any day now. 

But you didn’t. Instead, you felt a force envelope your shoulders and back. Your head hung in the air, your eyes meeting a distorted view of the clouds above. You tense your neck, scouring to find this mysterious force that had caught you out of thin air. A part of you wishes you didn’t. 

Nevertheless, you open your eyes to a worried Junghwan. His arms cradled you against his chest, a hand tightly gripping your bicep. He’s got you hanging in thin air, in a way that resembles tango dancers at the end of their performance. His face was inches away from yours, puffs of his air blowing onto your cheeks—your very warm cheeks.  

“You alright?” Junghwan asked, rather hastily. 

Your mind drew to a complete blank before you could respond. “Uh, um—yeah. I’m good.” 

Junghwan heaved a sigh of relief before standing you up straight—lord knows you were too dazed to do it yourself—and loosening his grip around your shoulders. He avoided your gaze, face painted a blaring red as he dipped down to your feet. Junghwan proceeded to loop his fingers around your loose laces, tying them into pretty double knots; safe and sound. 

“Be careful, okay?” Junghwan gazed up at you, his adam's apple bobbing up and down and his eyes shaking. Your heart was quaking in the confines of your rib cage, like a feral beast trying to escape. You weren’t sure if it was from the near fall from your trip, or if it was from your heart being utterly, terribly, stupid. 

The library was, uncharacteristically enough, loud. 

It was the table beside you, lined completely with utter buffoons of freshman. They had the audacity to play a chaotic card game amidst you and other university students who were desperately cramming for their midterms. They didn’t have a shred of remorse, either. Not even bothering to glance around at the students who were currently giving them death stares. The louder they’d holler or slap their hand on the table, the closer you were to seeing red. 

You grumbled in your seat, thumb clicking at your pen profusely as you held it centimetres before your noticeably blank notepad page. 

“Woah okay, don’t kill them, please,” Junghwan’s voice was laced with worry, understandably—you did consider it for a bit. Junghwan sat beside you, his once laid back figure now hunched forward, his big hand clung onto your tensed wrist. The warmth of his skin was enough to calm you down, apparently. Your head pivots back to Junghwan’s direction, your eyes immediately linking up with his. His face glistened under the golden hour sunlight, acting like the spotlight in a theatre with how it only shined on him. You watched his hair burn a bright auburn, his eyes carried in them a swirl of stars. 

You gulped at the sight, completely forgetting about those annoying freshmen. Or anyone else, for that matter. 

“Whatever,” your hand slips from his grasp quickly, though your skin felt a twinge of coldness, loneliness, after the fact. You clear your throat. “How do you deal with them? I think I’d lose my mind.”

Junghwan gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. A finger tapped at the headphone set that hung snug around his neck. “With these. They’re noise cancelling.”

You turn your head to the front, avoiding Junghwan’s gaze after staring at his oddly chiselled jaw for longer than wanted. “Lucky.”

You glanced back at the rowdy table, still stagnant and unmoving from their loud and aggravating presence. Sure they were still ear piercing, but now you could barely hear them over your beating heart, pounding so loud you could hear it in your ears. 

You sensed some rummaging behind you before you turned around, curiosity getting the best of you. Your eyes are met with a sweetly grinning Junghwan as he pulls off his headphones, adjusts their size, and gently slides them on your head. His hand slides off your head, but not before running a finger through your hair. His smile grows wider. “There, now you can focus.”

Your heart skips a beat as your eyes widen. “What—what about you?”

Junghwan ever so softly flicks your nose with his finger. “Quit worrying about me, already. You deserve to study in peace.”

“Oh,” You gulp again, heart still pounding in your chest. “Thanks.”

You did not find So Junghwan attractive. 

You knew it was redundant to say, but you just wanted to make it clear. So Junghwan was just a friend; A friend you had hung out with more than your other friends in your year, by now. You would study together, walk home together—Junghwan insisted the walk back to his dorm didn’t bother him—and even eat out together. You two even developed a new bond over finding new cuisines to try. 

But all that eating out eventually led to near empty wallets, so you suggested an alternative for this afternoon; cooking. It was high time Junghwan learned how to cook for himself, anyway. 

The two of you stood shoulder to shoulder as you guided the poor, lost freshman on how to properly cut vegetables. The final boss? The yellow onion. 

“What happens when it stings too much?” Junghwan whined, one eye practically glued shut while the other peeked open ever so slightly. Though, that eye was too busy swelling in tears. You giggle as you watch him. 

“You’re just supposed to deal with it, really.” You only shrug as an ailed sound emits from Junghwan’s mouth. 

Soon enough, all the torture food preparation was complete, and the two of you pivoted to face your apartment's kitchen. You heated a pan on the stove, drizzled on oil, and got to work. Junghwan’s head perched over your shoulder, silently watching. 

Thankfully, your silence wasn’t awkward anymore. It was comfortable, easy. You didn’t think it possible, but you and Junghwan were slowly going back to how things were; going back to being best friends. Sparks popped in your chest at that thought.

“Oh—your date’s tomorrow” Junghwan analysed, eyes flitting back and forth between you and the calendar on the corner of your fridge. “How are you feeling?” 

Though a part of you was thankful for the reminder, you couldn’t help but groan. You were already tired of Winnie’s constant berating concerning the first man to go on a date with you since your failed talking stage in your first year—did Junghwan really have to do the same? “I dunno, haven’t given it much thought.”

“Alright, you player,” Junghwan teased, jabbing your shoulder. Maybe he was spending too much time with Winnie; she could be a bad influence on him. “Just another guy on your roster, huh?”

You roll your eyes to the sky—or, really, the exhaust fan above your stove. “Oh, shut up. Don’t act like you and my brother weren’t with different girls every month back in highschool.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Junghwan scoffed. 

“Don’t play dumb,” you jabbed back as you flung your spatula, unaware of the pieces of vegetables flying in the air. “Just ‘cause we didn’t talk, doesn’t mean I didn’t see things!”

Junghwan lifted his hands in the air, like a criminal caught red handed. “I swear! I didn’t do any of that.”

You turned to face him. “Then who were all those girls you'd hang around with on campus?”

Junghwan scratched the nape of his neck. “They were just friends… I’ve actually never dated, or even kissed a girl before.” 

You gulp. Had your perceptions all been wrong? You were positive the reason why Junghwan stopped talking to you in the first place was to make room for more girls in his life. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” Junghwan fiddled with the hem of his apron. “I just never knew how it worked—too lazy to learn.”

You turned off the stove, your brain switching onto a particular idea. It might’ve been sick and twisted, but maybe it was just what you needed. 

“What if I teach you?”

Junghwan’s eyes practically spilt out of their sockets. You didn’t blame him; what you said was crazy. But you had your reasons. You needed to prove that you didn’t find So Junghwan attractive; that you didn’t wanna cross the boundary of best friends with him; that those past moments of your heart slipping up were none other than random flukes—a way for your heart to tell you your love life was too stagnant. 

“You sure?”

You stared up at him, gulping. “I’m no player, but I’ve had my fair share of kisses… maybe we can practise.”

Your words dwindled to the end once you realised how crazy you sounded. Gosh, if you didn’t know any better, you sounded like you were hitting on him. Your stomach churned at the thought. Your cheeks flared up in response. But it didn’t matter, Junghwan was your friend. You were doing this for a reason. For clarity. For closure. 

You did not find So Junghwan attractive. 

Junghwan was almost as red as the tomatoes in your frying pan. “O-okay.”

You were kissing So Junghwan.

Or more accurately, Junghwan was kissing you. 

As you stood in the middle of your living room, basking in the afternoon sunlight, your lips melted into one—easily, you observed. You also observed how soft Junghwan’s touch was. His hand trailed from the shell of your ear after brushing your hair away from your face, to cupping the side of your cheek. The graze of his fingertips sent chills through your skin. His fingers lifted your head ever so slightly, combating your towering height difference. His other hand didn’t even flinch as it stayed at his side; in fear of crossing an unwanted boundary. An odd swirl spun at the pit of your stomach. Your heart tripped and face planted on its two feet. Multiple times.

Wasn’t Junghwan supposed to be bad at this? 

Overwhelmed, you couldn’t muster much movement on your end. All your measly mind could think of was to cling onto his broad shoulders, which were hunched over to reach your frame closer—practically enveloping you. You hated how gentle he was, considering how strong you knew him to be. It was doing weird things to your mind. You clung onto the fabric of his sweater; desperate and confused.  

What was Junghwan doing to you?

After what seems like centuries, your lips finally plop apart. Your figures hesitate to move apart, your breaths both short and shallow—he quite literally took your breath away. Your eyes naturally link with his, a red string of fate hanging in the balance. You really hoped Winnie wasn’t gonna come home anytime soon. A sudden chime of someone’s phone catapulted you back to reality as you jumped away from him. Your eyes avoided his gaze like the plague as your cheeks burned so hot you could cook more of that dish you made earlier. And don’t even get started on your heart beat, your erratic, animalistic heart beat. 

Maybe your little test wasn’t so smart, anymore.

“You–uh,” you stuttered out like an idiot. “You’re pretty good…”

You glance back at Junghwan, who’s red stained cheeks and ears, paired with eyes practically glued to your wooden floor, suggest that he was just as much of a mess as you were. At least there was that. Junghwan clung onto the nape of his neck like a life force. “R-really?”

So Junghwan was the death of you. “Y-yeah. You don’t need my help.”

Awkward silence, your old friend. 

“I–uh,” Junghwan’s voice didn’t reach past a whisper. “I should probably go.”

“Okay,” you replied, grateful for the leeway he was giving your heart. Though, an empty feeling began crawling up your chest, too. You watched as Junghwan scurried out the door, the boom of it shutting barely overpowering the crazy thumps of your heart beat. 

So Junghwan was so cooked. 

He stumbled out of your apartment complex, dazed and confused. His heart clawed profusely at his ribcage, like a feral animal—just itching to jump out and splat on the road. He clenched his chest, lost at a shortness of breath. He thought back to your kiss; your supple lips locked against his. He thought about how you melted into his chest, how your skin felt so warm, it was like he was dreaming. Maybe he didn’t wanna wake up. Scratch that—he wasn’t just thinking about all that. The image was tattooed in his brain, forever. 

He’s done it. He’s officially gone too far. 

Junghwan wasn’t supposed to expose himself so…idiotically. He planned to be more composed, untroubled. Was he just supposed to confess his life long crush on his best friend like a loser? 

You were the love of So Junghwan’s life, the apple of his eye. He’s loved you since you were kids. He loved everything about you; from the way you lit up any room with your smile, to the way you’d always put others before yourself every chance you got. You had him wrapped around your finger; anything you did gave him butterflies. He’s always believed he hit the jackpot the moment he met you.

He also believed he absolutely fumbled that jackpot the moment he distanced himself from you. The more time he spent with you, the more he realised you’d never love him back. You were too busy babying him. In your eyes, Junghwan would never be your equal. So, by the time he entered highschool, he opted to give up. 

Foolishly, he thought he could still keep your friendship as he tried to get over you. Quickly, however, he learnt that it wasn’t possible. Your constant, beautiful presence always sent a punch to his gut, a guilty feeling squeezing at his heart. So he finally decided, it was time to end your friendship, once and for all, even if it meant hurting you in the process. Lord knows it tore his heart into pieces, too.

It also didn’t even work. 

Junghwan didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse that he got accepted into the university you happened to be attending. Sure, maybe he was the fool for applying there in the first place last fall, but still. The one thing he did know was that he’d lose his mind the moment he’d see you again. He knew he’d combust the moment you’d look at him with your beautiful eyes one more time. 

Nevertheless, something in his resolve had switched. His chest puffed out, his heart beat faster. With the years of distancing himself from you behind him, Junghwan was a changed man. And he was going to prove it to you. 

Or he was, until he completely fumbled the bag just now.

Trudging home with heavy shoulders, Junghwan rummaged in his sweater pocket, fingers easily finding what it needed to. He pulls out a pink, frilly scrunchie, grazing the soft fabric between his fingertips. The elastic could barely fit over just two of his large fingers, but that didn’t stop him from taking the scrunchie everywhere he went. 

It was the scrunchie from the day he first fell for you, after all.

“Fuck,” Junghwan huffed.

“Sorry I’m late!” Eunhyeok’s voice peaks in your ears, causing you to look up from your phone. He walks up to you, holding a lazy but apologetic hand up in the air. You glanced back at your phone quickly; the time was 3:58—around 30 minutes past your originally discussed meeting time.  

“No worries! I just got here,” You lied anyway. That was custom for first dates, apparently. 

You were meeting up with Kwon Eunhyeok for your very important, once in a lifetime—according to Winne, anyway—date. It wasn’t that you weren’t excited for today. The idea of going on a date for the first time in what felt like ages did excite you, slightly. You allowed yourself to get dolled up a little, too—dawning your favourite maxi shirt and a bow that completely your half up-half down hair look.  

It’s not like you weren’t excited for this date—there were just other things that stubbornly occupied your mind at the moment. 

You didn’t expect Junghwan’s kiss to stay so vivid in your mind for so long. You allowed yourself maybe 30 minutes to properly freak out about how good he kissed you; how he kissed you in a way that made you gut wrench, your head spin. How he kissed you in a way that makes you rethink everything. You were only allowed 30 minutes for all of that. But when you woke up this morning with So Junghwan running in your mind, you knew you were fucked. 

You thought back to the past month with So Junghwan. The boy you grew up with, your brother’s best friend. The man that, in the past month, showed a completely new side of himself, and it was making you go crazy. 

Were you on a date with the wrong person?

“Where we headed first?” Eunhyeok asked, his gaze locked on something behind you as he shoved both hands down his pockets. You gave him a quizzical look. “I thought you said you’d plan everything? I didn’t give it much thought…”

“Oh—right.” Eunhyeok’s voice grew quiet. He picked at his lips, swiping at his phone screen. “Well, I’ll look up some places, I guess. ” 

You wished you could roll your eyes right now. 

After stopping underneath a well shaded tree to look for nice places in the area, the two of you finally went on your way. While your time was eventful—you visited a variety of places, including the trendy and overpriced coffee shop, the park, and dinner at a place he couldn’t stop talking about—you couldn’t muster up any feeling of excitement. Sure you had fun, but this seemed like nothing more than a simple platonic day out. And judging off of Eunhyeok’s laid back, borderline bored attitude, you could guess he felt the same. 

Besides, you still couldn’t shake Junghwan out of your mind. 

The sky was painted a deep orange as you and Eunhyeok walked to the train station. Ribbons of white and pink scattered across the sky, twinges of blue laced at the corners. It was beautiful. You wished Junghwan was here to see it. 

You and Eunhyeok said your goodbyes as you hopped on your respective trains. You weren’t getting a text back from that guy, you knew it. And yet, that didn’t seem to bother you. 

Junghwan was seeing you today. 

Though, it was gonna be painfully one sided—because he wasn’t going to meet with you, no. Instead, he was joining a very hyper Winnie in stalking your date with that Eunhyeok guy. 

To say Junghwan was sceptical about Winnie’s insane and creepy idea would be a deep understatement. FIrstly—and more prominently—he wasn’t even sure if this was legal, let alone a good thing to do. What if someone saw him? Or worse, what if you saw him? Lord knows he's anything but ready to see you after the kiss that stole his breath. Nevertheless, he tagged along. That Eunhyeok guy rubbed him the wrong way, and it was an excuse to see you in a cute outfit. 

“You sure this is a good idea?” Junghwan whispered, face practically smushed into the decorative bush outside the train station. 

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Winnie whisper-shouted back, her whole figure enveloped by the same bush. “I think I see her!”

Junghwan’s heart pounded in his chest, though he wasn’t sure if it was from being caught by the cops, or by you. God, what if you thought he was some weirdo after this? He’d pass away, actually. 

He took note of what you were wearing; the maxi shirt that made you look like a princess, and the hair bow that completed your royal look. It warmed his heart knowing you still liked hair accessories just as you did as a kid. 

Gosh, you looked beautiful.

Junghwan’s eyes latched onto a figure of a dude slowly jogging to you. His words were inaudible, but the view of your smile in response was enough to make Junghwan’s blood boil. What was so funny? Junghwan gulped. He knew he was funnier, there was no doubt about it. You didn’t even need to go on this date in the first place. 

Winnie adjusted her stance, causing a branch from the bush to move. The Eunhyeok guy’s eyes snap towards his direction as Jungwhan freezes like a deer in headlights. Was he fucked?

Eunhyeok’s eyes linger in the air before finally reaching Junghwan’s. Like an idiot, Junghwan stared back. He was fucked. 

Eunhyeok’s eyes finally flit back to you, mumbling something inaudible again before the two of you walk away. Jungwhan and Winnie follow suit, Junghwan’s heart still pounding in his chest. 

—

“So, how's Junghwan?” Jeongwoo’s voice chimed through the phone. You purse your lips. As if you haven’t been thinking about him enough. You clear your throat, gracing your twin brother with a response. “He’s, uh, good.”

There was a pause on Jeongwoo’s line. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, no, it’s all good.” You realise your double usage of the word ‘good’ makes you sound even more suspicious. 

“What, you guys kiss or something?” Jeongwoo teased, his peculiar words sending your heart into full attack mode. Your heart leaped from your chest, your eyes spilling from your sockets. Your mind flits back to the image of Junghwan, his hand snug against your cheek as he stole your heart like a ruthless burglar.

“WHAT? NO!”

“Jesus, calm down,” Jeongwoo whined. “I was only joking, relax!”

You stayed silent. 

“Unless something actually happened?”

No. Nothing happened. Only So Junghwan, who came crawling back to your life after years, turning into a whole new person, and was turning your world upside down. Junghwan didn’t do anything—he just manages to swirl butterflies in your stomach with his handsome smile and chivalrous ways, make your heart skip multiple beats with his cute jokes and even cuter habits, take your breath away as he kissed you like a man who's been starved to near death.

Nothing happened. You just fell in love with your—and your brother’s—best friend. You heave a sigh. It felt freeing—finally admitting to it.

But it didn’t matter. He was still your best friend. You would die before you told him the truth.

“I gotta go, Woo.” Overwhelmed, you suddenly mumble into the phone. You barely hear his confused reaction as you click the phone off, chest sparking with adrenalin you haven’t felt in awhile. You trudge to your bathroom, in desperate need of a splash of water to refresh yourself and your mind. 

You can’t tell Junghwan. No matter what.

In the corner of your eye, however, you see Winnie skip up towards you a bright smile on her face. 

“Hey,” Winnie twirled a strand of hair between her fingers. “Found a couple packs of beer in the pantry. You wanna drink tonight?”

“Sure” You shrug. You definitely needed it after the month you had.

“Great! I’ll invite Junghwan, too!” Winnie cheered before skipping away. 

Great. 

Junghwan didn’t know you were a light-weight. 

But here you were, sprawled out on your living room couch, with a rosy face as multiple (3) beer cans scattered over the floor. Your head barely grazed his thigh, your hair spreading across his lap, each strand following the creases of his jeans. Junghwan couldn’t help but smile; you were the cutest drunk person he's ever seen.

Maybe for tonight, he can forget about fucking up any chance he had of staying your friend.

“Oh god,” Concerned, Winnie hid her mouth behind her hands as she looked over at you. She looks back up at Junghwan. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t think she’d get like that.”

Junghwan waved a lenient hand. “It’s all good.”

“She’s probably still grovelling over Eunhyeok. Poor girl got ghosted.” Winnie muttered. The mention of his name left a bitter taste in Junghwan’s mouth, but at least he was out of the picture. Winnie shot up from the couch, shuffling to the kitchen. “I’ll see if we have anything to fix…that.”

Junghwan pursed his lips, gazing at how your eyelashes swooped beneath your eyelids so beautifully. There’s nothing to fix. Even as a drunk mess—you were still perfect.

Winnie soon disappeared into the pantry, and Junghwan felt some shuffling at the edge of his thigh. He glanced down, watching your figure shift around your area of the couch. You began by slowly turning over, your cheeks squished against the backrest. You then murmured something completely incoherent—like a baby saying their first words. You melted Junghwan’s heart into a lovesick puddle as Junghwan gently brushed the hairs away from your face, taking care of you in any way he knew he could. 

Maybe Junghwan let his guard down too soon. 

You proceeded to messily crawl up a bit, resting your head on Junghwan’s lap. Junghwan’s skin ignited at your touch. He gulped, bullets of sweat running down his forehead. What were you doing? Were you trying to kill him?

You flopped over so that your flushed, rosy face was facing up at him. “Junghwanie.” 

Junghwan blinked. “Yeah?”

“Mmm I think I’m in trouble,” you mumbled some more. Junghwan knew you were just speaking gibberish, but a part of him couldn’t ignore you. 

“I think I’m falling for you.”

Junghwan choked. 

“There’s something about you lately… you’re so caring and sweet—but like more than before. And then we kissed, and it made me more confused. No one’s kissed me like that before…”

You fell asleep before Junghwan could compose himself, your soft snores filling up the living room. He could only scoff. While the walls of your apartment closed in on him, his heart jumped in and out of his chest, and reality as he knew it began to shatter—you were peacefully asleep. 

Junghwan gripped at his chest, which was bubbling up with adrenaline. You liked him back? He had a chance?

“I like you, too,” Junghwan whispered back. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“I’m back!” Winnie chimed in, catapulting Junghwan back to reality. 

No, no, no. This wasn’t good. None of this was good. 

I think I’m falling for you. 

Your words from last night replayed in your mind, as if your raging headache from your hangover wasn’t enough torment already. You were pacing back and forth on your living room floor, fingers picking at your lips and eyes quaking side to side. Your heart was popping out of your chest, sweat beaded from your temples. 

Few sips of alcohol and you were off, ruining life long friendships with a single drunken love confession. How stupid were you to let yourself slip up like that? 

“It’s probably fine, y/n” Winnie watched you from the couch, very worried. “You probably didn’t say anything too bad.”

“No.” you mutter, regrettably “I remember what I said.”

“Well, why don’t you go to him?”  Winnie shrugged. How could she be so nonchalant about this? “Talk it through. Who knows? Maybe he feels the same way?”

You stop in your tracks, holding in a scoff. There was no way. He was your childhood best friend. But Winnie was right about one thing. You needed to clear things up. 

You needed to see Junghwan.

“y/n?” Junghwan’s voice was overwhelming with confusion as you stood in the quad, visibly dishevelled and still in your sleepwear. You were lucky you remembered to put on proper shoes. What’s worse? Junghwan wasn’t alone. He—and by proxy, you—was surrounded by other students, presumably his friends. You forgot he hung out with people aside from you. 

“Can we talk?”

“Uh, sure,” Junghwan stuttered before whisking you away, one hand at the small of your back. His touch made your stomach swirl. The two of you stood along the side of the nearest campus building, his tall frame casting a shadow over you. 

“Oh yeah, almost forgot,” Junghwan’s eyes lit up, brows shooting up to the sky.  Slipping his bag off his shoulders, he pulls out a smaller bag before handing it to you. “Made some food for you. Hopefully it helps with the hangover.”

“Thanks,” you gulp. Only Junghwan would think of something like this—something that would make your heart melt to the ground. Nevertheless, Junghwan remembered you’d have a hangover, which meant he remembered how drunk you were last night. 

“I’m sorry about what I said last night!” You suddenly blurt out, head hanging low. “I wasn’t thinking right, clearly, and—”

“What?” Junghwan’s voice was shaky, worried. “You’re taking it back?”

“You’re one of my best friends, Junghwan. What I said wasn’t right. I don’t want to ruin what we have, especially right after I got you back.” You gulp, your words turning sour and bitter on your tongue. Each sentence broke your heart into pieces. You were placing a wall between you and your chance at happiness, after all. 

“What about what I want?” Junghwan’s voice suddenly grew deep and firm. He slapped a palm onto the brick wall behind you, encasing you in his frame. Chills ran down your spine.“You’re too busy babying me and protecting me, did you forget I get a say in this, too? What if I wanted to take the risk? What if I wanted to make the jump to be with you?

“What are you saying?” you muttered like an idiot. 

Junghwan looks to the side, nervously hiding his face beneath the back of his hand. The shells of his ears grew red. His other hand fell from the wall before reaching into his pants pocket. He pulls out a pink frilly piece of fabric—fabric you recognized instantly. “Last night, the girl of my dreams; the girl that gave me her favourite pink scrunchie, told me she liked me back, and I want nothing more than to take her in my arms right now.” 

Your cheeks flush in heat at his heart fluttering words. Questions ran through your mind like runners in a marathon as your heart beat faster and faster. Junghwan wanted to be with you? You weren’t living in one sided nightmare? Junghwan was willing to risk your friendship for you? Your chest heaved as you clawed at the brick wall behind you—anything for that sense of reality. 

“Did you mean it? What you said last night?” Junghwan’s eyes flit back to you. 

Your heart made one final, courageous leap across your chest. Fuck it. 

“Yeah. I meant it all—I like you, Junghwan. I like you so much.”

The pressure on your shoulders began to float to the sky. This was what it felt like to stop lying to yourself, huh?

Like clockwork, Junghwan pulls you against his chest, his face melting into the crook of your neck. You cling onto his shoulders, grip maybe too tight for your liking. You didn’t want him escaping your grasp anymore. He was gentle, still, but you couldn’t help but notice a sense of urgency in his touch. As if he was waiting all his life for this. “I like you too, y/n.”

You pull away from your embrace, your eyes immediately linking to the sight of his lips. Call yourself selfish, but you needed to kiss the man in front of you. Right now. Judging by the almost ravenous stare from Junghwan’s eyes, it seems he felt the same. 

As if you were starving, you hopelessly clung onto the collar of Junghwan’s shirt, finally linking your lips onto his—genuinely, this time. You move your arms to cling around Junghwan's neck, and his arms loop around your waist. His lips tasted of a weird fruit medley—maybe it's from the gum you gave him last week—but it didn't matter. Sparks still popped against your skin, excitement shocking through your whole body. Junghwan raised a hand snug against the back of your head, protecting you from the brick wall as he leaned in further, deepening your kiss. It made your heart melt into a lovesick puddle beneath your feet. You cling onto the fabric of his collar. Junghwan knew just what to do to take your breath away. 

Slowly, you pull apart, breath shortened, chests heightened, and eyes both full of love. Junghwan keeps his gaze on you, and only you, as he brushes a hair behind your ear. 

“Promise you’ll let me take care of you now?”

Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. “I promise”

“Gross,” Jeongwoo winces as he studies the decorations on your apartment fridge—specifically, the photo of you and Junghwan, drunkenly asleep and cuddling on the couch. Safe to say, this was the last thing he expected to see on his visit to see his best friend and sister. 

“Shut up—it's cute!” Winnie, the obvious culprit, beams. 

“I tried getting her to take it down, okay,” You argue, fiddling with your boyfriend, Junghwan’s, fingers as his arm rests on your shoulders in a casual side hug. 

“Don’t act so innocent,” Jeongwoo narrows his eyes at the sickeningly sweet couple, jabbing a finger at you and Junghwan. “You guys are too damn clingy.”

Junghwan takes this opportunity to wrap his other arm—as well as one leg—around you. He looked like a big and goofy koala, but that didn't matter to you. “And what about it?” 

You giggle behind Junghwans arm, which was covering practically half of your face. “Yeah!”

“Yuck,” Jeongwoo’s cowers behind his shoulders, and the two of you laugh triumphantly. Your brother and Winnie quickly retire to another part of your apartment, probably to get away from you two. But that didn’t matter. You gave up at Junghwan, his eyes already gazing down at you lovingly. Heat creeped onto your cheeks. 

“Don’t mind them, baby,” Junghwan says with a pout.

You hum in response before Junghwan’s hand pulls you closer by the jaw, linking your lips with his in a sweet kiss. Even now, So Junghwan managed to take your breath away. 

“I know, baby.”