Some days were better than others but the flash of the fighting pits that morning put him enough on edge that in the end, he’d sided with staying in. Even if skipping out so much left him with a lingering sense of guilt, it was better than shooting someone because the pit told him to.

And hey, Bruce was right after all, he’d always wanted a dog so he might as well enjoy it while it lasted.

So he makes himself dinner, something good, from scratch that he can keep on hand for after patrol snacks on other days. He digs through his kitchen and settles on fajitas, easy but delicious and good leftovers. He takes Titus on a third walk that evening just before he eats and then he feeds him just before dishing himself up dinner.

He watches Titus fling one of his toys around a little while he eats and thinks maybe he’ll take him to a dog park the next day instead of just walking around the block. The whole point was that he needed the exercise wasn’t it? He was friendly and it was something for Jason to do in the middle of the day when he’d normally be knee deep in research for a case. So he reads up on local ones and finds one not too far away that’s an off leash park where he can throw the ball for Titus and get him some decent exercise. The demon will probably even be happy about it.

When it’s nearing the time he’d normally be leaving for patrol he peruses his bookshelves, picks out an old favorite, makes himself a mug of tea and lays out on the couch with the new blanket draped over his lower half and reads. Tries not to think about the people on the streets that might need him, that he could be leaving without protection while he’s lounging somewhere comfortable and warm.

It feels lazy, after everything he’s done and been through.

But he’s not Batman. He knows his limits, he knows when he should back off and take a break and so that’s that. He doesn’t think about it.

He tries to absorb himself in the story, and manages a little, until about ten minutes later when there’s a heavy shift in weight on the couch and Jason looks up from his book to find Titus carefully picking his feet around his legs.

“What do you think you’re— Oof-“ His breath wheezed out of him in a rush as Titus’ full weight came down on his gut, all balanced on one small foot. “You’re crushing me, what are you doing?” Another two steps and the dog was suddenly settling down, shoving his hands and book out of the way, Titus whole body resting on top of Jason’s. Nose reaching all the way up to his collar bone, front paws tucked in next to his head, the rest of him a solid, heavy weight down his front with lower legs resting between Jason’s. He gasps out a laugh and wishes his phone was within reach, he’d get another picture to send to Damian.

Titus huffs out a very soft growl and Jason settles a hand on his head, scratching at his itchy ears while he turns his head from side to side and whaps his tail against the soft leather of the couch.

“You do this to the kid too? You’re bigger than he is, you’d break his ribs.” Titus only lets out a pleased little grumble at the ear scratches before Jason finishes with a pat to the side of his neck and attempts to find a comfortable place to settle his book and read with the dog on top of him. It’s an oddly comfortable weight, even if his bony little elbows are jutting into his rib cage and his lungs feel mildly compressed. The little warm puffs of air on the backs of his hands when he finally sets the book in front of Titus’ nose, uncomfortably close to his face, are kind of...nice too.

Jason hadn’t gone to sleep before 2am in he could even remember how long, but it was just nearing midnight when he’s starting to nod off. Titus weight and body heat making him weirdly drowsy. The words on the page blur in front of him multiple times before he finally slips a bookmark in the page he could last actually remember and set it on the coffee table next to him. Then he rested his hands on either side of Titus head and closed his eyes, letting himself just fall asleep. He’d regret it later when he woke up in the middle of the night with his neck killing him or Titus crushing his sternum while getting down off the couch, but for the time being, he felt oddly relaxed.

He was drifting off before he knew it.

The dream that night is not a new one. Not that they ever are, but it does start more abruptly than he’s used to.

He opens his eyes in the dark and he’s blinking and blinking and the air around him is hot and stale and Jason has no idea where he is or how he got there, but it’s cramped and he can’t move his arms above his head and his heart is pounding so loud it’s all he can hear. There’s not enough air, his elbows keep slamming into the sides of the box he’s in and he’s crying, panicking, in seconds. Clawing at the barrier above him until his nails are torn and bleeding. His only rational thought comes when he manages to slip his belt off, when he starts tearing at the exposed wood of the coffin with the buckle, mindless, angry, terrified, it’s all he can do to keep moving so he doesn’t just lay down and die again.

Splintered chips of wood cut up his hands but the sting is nothing compared to the frantic adrenaline pumping through him. All at once the weakened wood gives way and then Jason is sputtering and coughing up soil that’s collapsing in -

Something cold and wet touches his cheek and he’s blinking his eyes open to a dimly lit apartment and Titus’ big head right in his face. He noses at his chin and whines and Jason groans, shoving away Titus’ face and feeling his skin crawl, he tries to push the dog off and Titus goes without complaint, jumping to the floor with only one well placed kick to Jason’s bladder.

He lays there, staring at the ceiling and counting his breaths. Titus licks his hand and Jason jerks upright, startled, and swallows. The dog sits down on the floor but presses himself to the side of the couch, shoves his head in Jason’s lap and he focuses on that, on the soft, velvet like fur under his fingers when he rubs them across the bony head.

“I’m fine.” He whispers to the dog, like Titus is worried about him or something. “Thanks for waking me up.” He can just see the whites of the dog’s eyes flash when he glances up at him, like he’s really listening. “The rest of that dream is….not good.” He draws in a deep breath, feels like his lungs are still compressed and counts himself an idiot for not realizing sleeping with a weight on his chest would drag up those particular memories.

“My fault.” He feels boneless. “Sorry I scared you.” Titus lifts his head and gets a solid lick to Jason’s face before he manages to jerk back, gets a face full of dog breath that has him suppressing a gag. “Christ.” He shoves his snout the other direction, feeling a slightly hysterical laugh bubble up in his chest. “You are really something, you know that?”

Jason sits there for a little while longer, letting his breathing even out and scratching at Titus’ ears and down his neck. His bladder is dying for a relief and he finally levers himself up off the couch and shuffles to the bathroom, listens to Titus’ claws clicking across the linoleum of the kitchen floor when he goes for a drink.

Lucy carefully slipped the covers off and sat up. There was no way she was getting back to sleep now, her heart was racing, she could hear the sound of her blood whooshing in her ears. When she’d swung her legs over the edge of Alex’s bed her bare feet touched something warm, it was the sweater Alex had been wearing that day, the one she’d practically torn off the other woman in a heated moment trying to get the other woman's warm skin. There was another loud noise outside, and logically Logically she would have known it was probably some stray animal knocking over the trash cans, but in her frazzled mind, it was something more sinister. Lucy hit the deck with a soft thud and shimmied her way into the space under the bed. There was just enough room for her to do so. While she did this she reached out and grabbed the sweater pulling it close to her, shoving her nose into it and trying to breathe in Alex’s sent to calm her nerves.

Her eyes shut tightly, she took a deep breath in from her stomach and exhaled slowly through her nose...

I’m Lucy Lane,

I’m in National City,

I’m at Alex’s apartment,

We had dinner and mind blowing sex

Now, I’m hiding like a fucking coward

Because of noise outside. normal nose of a city.

Shit, Lane, she’s going to think you are fucking nuts.

Lucy felt the weight of the mattress shift and Alex quietly called out to her. She quietly cursed to herself.

“Are you okay, Lane? Where are you?” Her voice was always so sweet. Alex pulled the chain of the side table lamp illuminating the room, invading her dark quiet place.

“Um, down here...” She covered her face with Alex’s sweater, dying inside just a little.

“What?” Alex slid half way over the edge of the bed and peered under it and sure enough, there was Lucy hiding, hiding in her sweater of all things and under her bed.

“Oh, there you are!” Alex had said it to her as if this was the most normal place in the world for the Agent to find her. “I was worried you’d left...I mean it’s okay if you had wanted to leave, but um here you are.”

“Alex...” Lucy groaned. It wasn’t the time for sorting themselves out, wasn’t the time for wondering what her staying in Alex’s bed when the sun came up meant. She needed her bestie right now, not her...whatever the hell they were to each other.

“Hey, I’m right here,” Alex reassured. She slid off the bed completely, lying on the floor next to her.

“So, what brings you here?” Alex’s voice was still soft. She knew it wasn’t poking fun at her, actually, it was rather cute.

“Street Cleaner...” Lucy reluctantly admitted. She pulled the sweater down from her face just enough so Alex could see her eyes.  She never had anyone join her like this before.

“Oh, I understand now. Those assholes are really noisy, huh? I can go shoot the driver for you if you want?” Alex smirked at her, it eased her spirits a little. Agent Danvers had a smile would melt anyone’s anxiety.  

“No, that won’t be necessary, Danvers. Hmm, you could put me out of my embarrassed misery though... ” She sighed. Honestly, right now she wished the dust bunnies under the bed would march to life and drag her back to their Queen as a sacrifice.  

“Please don’t be embarrassed. I understand, okay? I’m highly trained at this. I’ve had to talk Kara down from panic attacks. She had a lot of strange hiding places we were kids, too. Thunderstorms are her real Kryptonite, The bangs remind her of what it was like when her world was crumbling apart. She still has trouble with them and the nightmares but she’s got Lena to take care of her now. ” It sounded like Alex was a little sad but she was sure there were many other ways that Alex was looking out for her Super sister.

“Uhh that’s sweet but it’s kind of hard not to be while hiding under the bed of the girl I’m into…” Lucy bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to be her sharp and snappy self but right now she was too damn tired, and Alex was trying to comfort her while her mind had been playing its usual tricks on her. “What about you? Do you have nightmares?” This was already the most vulnerable they’d let themselves be together,

Both of them being stubborn and tough, it’s what they had to do to survive and to protect.  She might as well let her own guard drop so she could ask questions and distract herself from the hellish visions that came when she closed her eyes. 

“Yeah, of course, I have nightmares. I think it comes with our line of work, not that everyone would willingly admit that but I do. Blazes of gunfire, explosions, hostile out of control aliens, not being able to get to Kara in time...my Dad...my Mom-” Alex trailed off. “Is there anything you need from me right now?” Alex reached under the bed, sliding her hand across the cool floor, she didn’t touch Lucy but just offered her hand in a show of support.

“Yeah, I get that and that sounds a lot like my nightmares except...I don’t know sometimes I wish the General would get taken hostage by aliens so he can see the smug look on my face when I have to rescue his stupid old ass.” Alex snorted at the dreamy way in which Lucy had said it. She bit her lip when Alex offered out her hand but she slid her own on top of it, then inched herself closer to the other woman.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s hard to deal with nightmares, and getting triggered. Do you uh, did you ever go to therapy for it? To talk about the trauma?” She squeezed Lucy’s hand. “I mean you don’t have to tell me that...if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, I have. I’m not that stubborn I know when I should get it taken care of. I’ll schedule another appointment to check in with the mental health team at the DEO while I’m here. But I think this is just a trigger...most of the time I sleep with earplugs, that helps to block out the noise most of the time. It’s so fucking unpredictable though, I’m usually fine, maybe it’s the intense stress of the job lately. Do I need anything from you?” Lucy hesitated.  What kind of question was that? It sounded weird to her for some reason. She looked into Alex’s brown eyes, there was some concern there. She was surprised. It wasn't a pitying look, one of fear, or confusion. There was no desperation from Alex to help fix or change the situation instead Alex had given her understanding and asked her what she needed. Alex was staying in the moment with her. It was so stupidly simple, and it was working...

“Just, just pull me out and hold me, okay?” Lucy closed her eyes, exhaling a breath she hadn’t known she was holding in.

“Of course, I will.” It hadn’t taken long for Alex to reach in and pull her out, it was only when she was fully wrapped in Alex’s arms did she let go of the sweater she’d been clutching onto for dear life. Alex brushed her mussed hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. Soft lips feathered a kiss to her forehead.

“I’ve got you...”

Lucy relaxed into the other woman’s arms, holding onto the other woman tightly, they were still laying on the floor but neither of them cared.

“Thank you, Alex...” Lucy mumbled into Alex’s shoulder.

~~~

In the morning she found herself in bed again, she had no recollection of Alex picking her up and putting her there. The smell of rich dark roast coffee wafted through the air, mixed with something sweet, waffles? Lucy stretched then searched the floor for the first item of clothing she could find. She pulled on Alex’s sweater and the memory of last night’s little episode hit her in the chest. Damn it...did it have to happen while I was here? Lucy got out of bed and padded across the large open room to where Alex was cooking in the kitchen.

“Morning, Danvers,” Lucy cleared her throat and sat down at the kitchen island. “Smells good...”

“Morning, Lane. The green mug is yours, are you hungry?”

“Oh, so you’re going to feed me, too? I thought all you can fuck was our prime directive?”

“Lucy...” Alex sighed, she could see her wince. Maybe that was a bit too much. That was the way it was between them either too much or not enough, they were struggling as of late to find a happy medium. What is wrong with you? You can have a normal conversation, she's your best friend.

“Sorry, it's a habit...” She clamped her mouth shut and peered into her mug as if it was suddenly going to tell her what it was she should really be saying.  

“Of course I'm going to feed you, Major Dumb Ass. Just because we're sleeping together doesn't mean we stop being friends. My Mom taught me to feed who ever in my house.” Alex chuckled shook her head and took a seat next to her.

“Okay, I deserved that.” Lucy laughed, she set down her mug next to her plate picking up the fork instead, digging into her fluffy waffles. How did Alex know exactly how much butter and maple syrup to put on them for her? Had Alex really been playing that much attention?  

“Listen, about last night...” She watched Alex shake her head and cut her off.

“Don't worry, I won't tell a soul...” Her eyes were on her own plate instead of on Lucy.

“No, Alex, that's not what I was going to say. I know you're not going to say anything to anyone or hold it against me. I was going to say thank you, it meant a lot. No one...no one's ever really just been with me through it before not like that...you didn't...you didn't try to fix it.”

“It's the least I could do. I wasn't just going to leave you there like that. Like I said It's not the first time I've been around someone and helped them through it.” She shrugged and munched on some bacon.

“Alex? Alex look at me?” Lucy set her fork down and set her hand on Alex's forearm. Finally, the other woman looked at her. Lucy could sink into those brown eyes.

“You know that I'm okay, right? And what you did for me wasn't just something to shrug off. It really matters to me...you, you matter.” Alex set her hand on top of Lucy's.

“You're really good?” Alex's brow furrowed.

Lucy nodded. Alex pulled Lucy's chair closer then tugged her in for a hug.

“You matter to me too.” Alex's voice was low and a little raspy.