Hi, here you are! You did send me this ask a while ago, and I’m sorry. I am usually just trying to be responsible about how I frame my responses since I know a lot of folks take what I say firmly to heart and that matters to me....but then sometimes I get stoned and forget about that intent and the ask entirely.

Firstly, let’s talk about bottom dysphoria and thank you for bringing this up so we can address it— we need to speak about how it is not inherently ‘feminine’ to receive pleasure or become submissive. These are not ‘non masculine’ traits—these are just things we do as silly hairless apes trying to touch each other’s naughty bits! I know that is hard to internalize, though, because Society, for one, and Conditioning, for another, and the combination of the two is lethal to most folks, not just trans folks. Everyone experiences the loss of self when society waggles it’s weird collective finger at what we find pleasurable. It’s not okay. We have to find a way to say ‘hey fuck you’ to that finger waggling, and also to that voice inside that may speak on behalf of that conditioning—because neither has your best interests at heart. You know who you are. Don’t go to the dark place where someone yells at you that you’re wrong. You know what light is, and light is not a lie.

That applies to sex just as much as it does anything else, and I hope you all know I’m saying it to all of you.

When it comes to bottoming as a masc person, I would lovingly and warmly invite you to take a look at how cis gay men have treated it for centuries—it’s hot. Gay men have a great approach to bottoming, and it’s safer to draw our masculinity from our own community than it is from the heterosexual one, wouldn’t you agree? Look at all the freedom you see in 70s heavy leather art—Tom of Finland was truly on some shit, my dude. He understood maleness in a way that transcends beyond gender sometimes, and sometimes just absolutely wallows in it. BDSM erotica in our community was a freedom to Be that was beyond a pride flag, and beyond a coveted status in the white wide world. It was Us. You can find that same freedom! But look within, and not without! Look at our history, our culture. It’s not their way, it’s Ours. You can be a sexy masc bottom in this culture, oh my god, can you ever. You need to see and believe and experience that truth, because it’s all around you. There are sexy trans masc bottom boys on Tumblr! Go find and follow them and begin to feel like you can copy what they do, at first, until you start to find your own feet with it. It’s just like anything—you have to practice it. Take a strap that you like and focus on packing with it while jerking off. It doesn’t have to come naturally at first. That doesn’t make you a failure. It just takes trial and error until one time you’re like OH and it clicks. That’s all there is to it.

12. Any famous transmasculine people you look up to?

that one actor that went stealth for like 20 years .... he’s in that nick show henry danger

2. Is your presentation masculine, feminine or androgynous?

99% masculine .. i look like peak rough and tumble masculinity - imagine some chaotic mix of cowboy, biker, and athlete - and then 1% androgynous

8. At what age did you realize you’re transmasculine?

i realized when i was around 13, i had been feeling dysphoria for a LONG time before that but that was when i put it together

9. What previous labels did you go by when you were questioning?

thanks for the ask!!

transmasculine asks

10 - Have you been to pride? Did you like it?

-How many times did you change/question your name?

At this point in time, I've changed it about 3 times!

-Are you seeking any sort of medical transition? (starting T, top surgery, hysterectomy, etc)

Sort of. I don't have the resources to able to afford any of it right now, but often I look up information and resources that can help in the future.

Do you pack or bind? (totally valid if you don’t)

I bind, but I don't often have the chance to because of mainly mom and grandma.

Have you started socially, legally or medically transitioning? Do you want to? (again, totally valid if you don’t)

💚💚💚

-At what age did you realize you’re transmasculine?

-Just a little bit after I'd turned 14.

-How do you feel about the transmasculine community?

I'm not too sure, I'm not quite active in the community itself, but I overall think it's pretty nice!

-What previous labels did you go by when you were questioning?

thanks for the ask!!

transmasculine asks

9 - What previous labels did you go by when you were questioning?

I never stuck with a label since I was worried I was faking it or something lmao... I id’d as being GNC since I thought I was cis and just wanted to present more masculinely/androgynously, bind my chest etc.

I looked online (on places like urbandictionary) and liked words like ”androgyne” and “genderfuck” - I wanted to present that way but since I didn’t, I never used those labels. (I don’t know how accurate my definitions of those words are since this was a few years ago)