#trans l

and then when her detective fame is kicking up and she hears the rumors about her they always call her he. they assume that only a man could do the work.

and she should be offended. she should show them that no, women are just as capable, she should set the record straight.

except… they don’t know for sure that L is a man, and if she publicly identifies as a woman then this would make her more vulnerable, wouldn’t it?

yes, if she remains a woman who others think is a man, this will help her stay safe. it’s a good strategy.

and if she feels good when she hears the male pronouns? that’s just pride in her flawless cover.

until one late night she’s listening to the police discussing if they should really trust her or not, speaking French, her first language, the one that appears, fragmented, in her memories of her youth, and the sea of masculine terms and adjectives, il and l’inspecteur and brillant, flows into her ears, down her chest, and through his stomach and he thinks that maybe it isn’t all a trick after all.

and really, she’s never minded when the people close to her call her she and woman. it never bothered her at all.

but there’s a special thrill that runs up his spine when beyond calls him brother.