sassypenguine asks:

Hi! I’m writing a fantasy world where all characters are black/poc. The main cast includes 3 siblings + 2 friends. 

Youngest Sister finds herself taken by Older Brother (we find out later that she went voluntarily, and at the time Middle Brother + company did not know it was Older Brother who had “taken” her). Middle Brother goes on a quest to get her back, accompanied by Sister’s situationship/girlfriend. 

They do finally reach her, but after a fight between the two brothers, she ends up dying. This ultimately sends Middle Brother (main character) into a rage and alters his character forever. 

I understand that fridging is a common trope and one I really don’t want to fall into, particularly because we don’t see a whole lot of Sister before she gets taken (at least in my initial draft, this will likely change). That being said, I have considered changing her gender but also don’t want to take away black lesbian representation. 

There are other female characters (e.g. mom and a mentor who both play a big role, friend/situationship of Sister, side characters) that do alter the thinking of Middle Brother, but none that have as big an impact as Sister does. 

Additionally, I’m aware of the issues revolving around lesbians and the bury your gays trope. I’m less worried about this as there are a number of other queer/gay relationships in the book, though no lesbian relationships as front-facing as Sister and her partner, so perhaps it should be taken into consideration as well. 

Is this falling into the fridging trope? Should I make her a man?

Speaking from a Black woman’s perspective, I’m not a fan of this narrative, as is. Additionally, Black women representation is not interchangeable with “other queer/gay relationships” in the story, particularly Black + lesbian characters. 

However, I do think it can be improved upon! 

Let’s start with the fridging

Fridging treats the woman character as a little more important than an object, she’s a special object, with the sole purpose of motivating a male protagonist. She is killed or harmed in order to do so. Her story arc is put on the shelf, the back burner, if it exists at all.

A comic panel from Green Lantern: a New Dawn, showing him shocked and appalled discovering his dead girlfriend in the refrigerator. -Stuffed into the Fridge - TV Tropes

Intersectionality, representation, and the violence and death we face in stories and reality

Your story has multiple intersections that makes her death something to truly think over and handle intentionally and respectfully, if you still choose to make this character pass away. She is a woman. She is Black woman. She is a Black and lesbian woman.

There are three core identities here whose lives tend to be made expendable in narratives, often killed, for a multitude of unspoken reasons. 

For instance, there’s fridging and bury your gays, as you mentioned. Plus, the sacrificial negro, and the conscious or unconscious punishment of these characters for daring to exist.

Then you have our unfortunate reality. Where women are killed at higher rates globally.

“Every 10 minutes, partners and family members killed a woman intentionally in 2024″

Reading:

-United Nations “Why a woman is killed every 10 minutes: global femicide”

Combine that with being Black and lgbt, and the rates of deadly violence grow.

Just this month of posting this (April 2026) I’ve seen an unfortunate number of reports of Black women murdered. So much so, that I had mistakenly thought I was hearing about the same cases in some of the stories I was seeing…until I saw all their beautiful faces, lined up in one post.

Reading: Call It What It Is: Black Femicide

“Key Takeaways:

Black femicide, or the killing of Black women by intimate partners, is rising sharply.

Black women are disproportionately victims, often killed by gun violence.

Deflection and defending these violent crimes as ‘mental health issues’ are hindering addressing a larger community crisis.”

- Call It What It Is: Black Femicide (April 22, 2026)

Your story does not mention exactly how your character dies, but the two brothers fight and she ends up dead. This seems to imply to me she’s some sort of collateral damage of the dealings of men. Just another factor to be aware of.

All this to say; you must choose wisely when deciding to perpetuate this violence in fiction, particularly that which is not meant to be a social commentary, but is just something that “happens.” Because why is that? The implications will be there, and is something readers will recognize, because truly no writing exists in a vacuum and despite what is or isn’t intentioned, the people will notice.

When we pick up books, we want to see ourselves winning. Or at least, surviving long enough to have a meaningful impact, a storyline of our own. A purpose beyond serving to motivate another’s story... Characters who will ultimately carry on without us.

Where representation is limited and full of harmful, unhappy endings already for these characters, adding another tragedy to the bunch, particularly without thoughtful intention, is not something I advocate for here.

Of course tragedy isn’t forbidden, and writers can write what they please, but since you’ve asked for our help… :P i’d say we take another look at this.

“Should I just make her a man?”

Short answer; no, and that won’t fix things.

I’m never a fan of replacing a Character of Color altogether (especially a Woman of Color, as the representation is even more sparse). That is, unless it’s extremely harmful and the author is unwilling to remove the negative representation or compromise. 

Making her into a Black man isn’t really improving the situation either. Killing off a Black man, or really any Character of Color, with the intent to snub out their story to motivate others, has its problems.

Other fates and story arc for your Black lesbian character

I’d urge you to explore other ways to motivate the Middle Brother besides killing your only prominent Black lesbian character.

If you choose to keep her alive, here are some ideas, just for your consideration

What if she was…

Only thought to be dead, but survives. 

Perhaps separated from the others, making her fate unknown or seem as if death can be the only case? 

For example, falling from a cliff or into the supposedly guaranteed-death-place…but somehow surviving or being caught or saved in the nick of time.

If the story is multi-POV…

She could still be a prominent character on her own journey if/until she reunites with the others, while still motivating the brother who thinks she is dead.

This is more a subversion of the trope, without erasing it. In her brother’s mind, she is dead, and it motivates him. The difference is she is not, and her story continues.

Survives, possibly after a betrayal or suffering* that motivates her brother but…

Give her agency. Your character shouldn’t stay in the theoretical fridge, a passive symbol meant to motivate the man with no motivations of her own. No matter what might / might not happen to her that may fuel your character, give her a storyline afterwards. Her own goals. What does she think of being her brother’s motivation? Does she approve of it, challenge it? Give her an opinion on her place even in another's journey that plans to use her as a figurehead, perhaps even a part in it.

*In regards to suffering: do look into tragedy exploitation and our other posts about it. Suffering is human, but it’s an issue when it tends to happen to BIPOC the most, or in particular. Physical and sexual assault is a prominent real life concern for the communities you’re writing about, reality but often sensationalized and overly explicit in story. 

As with any of these circumstances, I do hope there is a balance of trauma with some joy, and a somewhat happy ending for your Black, lesbian character!

Note: ask written in consultation with other mods. Black women and/or lesbian and queer followers, please chime in on your thoughts.

@writingraccoon said:

My character is black in a dungeons and dragons-like fantasy world. His name is Kazuki Haile (pronounced hay-lee), and his mother is this world's equivalent of Japanese, which is where his first name is from, while his father is this world's equivalent of Ethiopian, which is where his last name is from. He looks much more like his father, and has hair type 4a. I plan to make his character very finnicky about his hair, both enjoying styling it, but also often being unsure how to style it (not in that he doesn't know how to, but has so many options for how to style it, he has trouble choosing). However, I know that there are some very harmful ways to write black hair, especially in regards to how the black character themselves feels about it. Kazuki does not hate his hair, in fact he takes joy in it, and I'm researching black hair and hair styles to be as accurate as possible. But I'm unsure if portraying a black character as occasionally overwhelmed by or vain about his hair is negative. How would you suggest either changing this or making it work? Does it need to be changed in the first place?

Black Character Overwhelmed by Curly Afro Hair

Your Black character wanting his hair to look its best and at times feeling overwhelmed seems reasonable and natural to me. It appears their challenge comes with how to style it. Not so much with struggling how it looks or how hard it is to manage. That is good, as this further helps avoid placing a strong negative focus on Black hair. 

Him caring a lot about how it is style should not be deemed vain or frivolous, either. In any case, hair care is self care. There’s nothing wrong with having pride with your hair, especially hair that mainstream society, historically and present, might say is not beautiful. This still matters, even in a fantasy world, since your readers still exist in this reality. It’s empowering and a welcome change to see someone who loves their afro hair, actually.

There are unique factors someone with coily afro hair would experience vs. straight, wavy, or looser curls, but people struggling with their hair (too frizzy, too flat, too limp, too thin, too thick!) is universal. 

There is a delicate balance to achieve.

Avoid Writing a Black Hair Journey Experience 

An overall negative Afro hair journey might be the reality for many, especially when society deems Afro hair as unacceptable and slaps so many uninvited opinions, laws and policies over its existence and on certain styles (again, historically and very much at present), but that’s the kind of story that is best handled by someone with the background. Someone willing to commit to the research might also be able to pull it off, although it’s truly not the kind of thing an escapism novel needs in my opinion. If the story is not meant to delve into “A Black /Black Hair Experience” then I'd avoid going that route. That is moving a bit towards a struggle narrative, depending on how much it defines your character’s story.

Add positive and neutral hair language and interactions

For your writing, I’d avoid using unchallenged negative language about his hair. Being overwhelmed at times and frustrated is one thing and expected. If his hair is constantly brought up, and is associated with uncontrollable, ugly, or too [insert struggle here], then rethink the direction you’re going. 

Add some positive or neutral terms, reactions, and interactions in the narrative towards afro hair, such as describing color and texture.

“His fine coils bounced in the wind.” 

“Hair black and shiny” 

“She wore her hair in two large, fluffy buns.”

“He admired his fresh, neat braids in the mirror, smiling at his reflection, before turning to leave.”

Another tip: It may have been for research purposes, but leave out any hair number categorizing in the story and rely on description. I’d say this goes for any story, as reading the number would feel off. 

“He had coily 4a hair.” Nahh! :P 

Also, I would suggest sending all passages that focus on his hair to a Black sensitivity reader for review.

More reading:

@selfdxd2 asked:

Hello! My current project is a crime fiction set in KY, USA in which the instigating action is the death of a young black woman (W), with the first half being another young woman (L) investigating her disappearance and how it correlates with the disappearance of her close friend. That friend (P) is later found alive after having been kidnapped because he witnessed the crime, and is the POV character of the second half. He is also a white man, and him being white is relevant to other aspects of the story. My intention is for the "credit" for solving W's death to go almost entirely to L (who is also a woman of color, specifically Romani), and for the tragedy to be centered around the unfair loss of life and the pain of her parents and others who knew W rather than how bad P feels about it. My main cast also has two other prominent black women with arcs that extend outside this tragedy. All of this is intended to lend to one of the story's major themes of social invisibility vs visibility. So does this exploration of that stray into harmful territory from the outset? I know successfully keeping away from any white manpain traps will take active caution while actually writing the story and I intend to get sensitivity readers as I work on it, but I wanted to get some feedback on my starting point before going too far down that road. Thanks so much for all you do!

It is important for us to know why this young Black woman was murdered to give specific advice. 

Was it racially motivated, gender motivated, or both? 

Wrong place, wrong time? 

Did someone take revenge?

Was she involved in something insidious? 

Was it truly an accident?

Depending on the reason, you should explore and acknowledge this violence and the existing societal problem behind it. For help, see the crime stats on violence against Black women.

…and for the tragedy to be centered around the unfair loss of life and the pain of her parents and others who knew W rather than how bad P feels about it.

Yes, give a voice to the people most affected by her death. Other Black women, people, and Women of Color. This will help further not make it about the feelings of a white man. He is absolutely a victim of the crime too, being kidnapped, so his trauma does matter and should be tended to. But ultimately, he gets to live.

On that note, his life being worth kidnapping vs. ending begs the question; why wasn’t he murdered while the Black woman’s life had to end? And for representation purposes, why couldn’t it be the other way around (Where the Black woman lives and witnesses the crime, and the white man dies)?

This is why knowing your reasoning for her death is so important. 

Otherwise, if she was thoughtlessly murdered, it does feel like her life was incredibly devalued in your story due to her being a Black woman. It’s a serious and true problem, so I'm not saying not to write this. This just needs careful exploring. If you’re choosing to bring this real life problem into your story, it deserves full and respectful acknowledgement. 

Please check out our resources on writing tragic material, Black suffering and abuse and avoiding exploitation. 

More reading: tragedy exploitation tag

Sacrificial Black girl, second-chances and redemption

A young woman protecting herself and accidentally killing the man harassing her does not make me think “angry” or “lack of control / animalistic.” Things may have gotten out of hand, but she was ultimately defending herself. Also, Black characters should be allowed imperfections. Humans make mistakes. She wants to live a good and moral life during her second chance, so this incident seems like a great way to give her moral conflict. 

Sacrificial Black woman

My bigger concern is the Black girl sacrificing herself. She died in another life and is eager for a new life, only to give up her second chance by sacrificing herself? This meets the definition of Sacrificial Negro. 

Plenty of stories already choose to make Black women character’s storylines about struggle and sacrifice. In a world where our presence in stories is limited in the first place, this type of plot often becomes the focal point. Truly consider how necessary it is to walk this same road so many writers have taken before you when writing this character.

As a Black woman reader, It would disappoint me to read that she ends up dying, particularly by sacrifice. Putting a modern twist on this old tale does not lessen the disappointment. Same thing, different day.

Before you write this, ask yourself:

How necessary is it to give her this storyline? 

Why must she give up her life in order to help the greater good? Why is this sacrifice on her hands vs. someone else?

How can she help out without dying? 

What makes her so willing, having been so grateful for this second chance, to give it away now? You mentioned she feels like she has met her goals. Perhaps expand on that.

If you tied her reasoning into feeling unworthy due to the killing accident, that would provide more of an explanation for her actions. Without a reason, though, you may imply her sacrifice is just what she should do, as if her life is not as valuable as others.

If she went through with it, but survived:

Her not actually dying, in spite of her willingness to sacrifice herself, would be a moment for her to:

Unpack what made her so willing to sacrifice herself.

Come to terms that she is worthy of this second chance

Sometimes surviving truly is more interesting. Once a character is dead, they’re dead. But surviving allows all sorts of emotions, aftereffects and coming to term with things that the character must deal with.

Or, at least, allows her to self reflect. Not everything ends in a grand epiphany, but it’s worth allowing the character to explore her feelings about her choices.

Good vs evil and The Struggle

Overcompensating in order to live a good enough life to be reincarnated, Black girl has to work 10x harder to prove herself than the white/other poc characters

The whole incident seems like a morally gray area. She kills someone who was harassing her. Likely in an attempt to defend herself. Also, it was completely by accident. Now, she’s being punished and has to work to deserve reincarnation. 

Based on the details of the killing, consider whether it was an action deserving of this harsh of punishment.

Who makes the rules on whether this is something that makes her unworthy in this world?

What are those rules and does anyone ever question those definitions of good and bad?

Perhaps there’s a higher authority making the call. Perhaps she is deeming herself unworthy until she accumulates enough good acts.

The struggle of having to work harder plus prove oneself is definitely a reality that many Black women face. And again, this is putting a magical twist on racial tropes, which doesn’t make it less off-putting, in my opinion.

Consider how much she has to devote her new life to hard work and redemption. How much of this struggle you include will define if you’re giving the Black girl a “Struggle novel” storyline. In that case, readers should be warned that you’re writing about these hardships. This allows those of us who didn’t sign up for yet another Black woman struggling story to avoid your book. 

How much work and struggle your Black character faces compared to other people in the novel can indicate if you’re leaning towards Struggle Novel and singling out the Black woman. If it’s disproportionate compared to others, you may be writing into tragedy exploitation.

Recommendation:

Also, based on some of the concepts in your story, I recommend watching the Good Place. I’m noticing some relevant themes, but I won’t say too much, as the show is full of twists and turns! 

hi! i've browsed your blog for a while now and it's been really helpful to me, so first off, thank you. i was wondering about something tho, i recently saw your response to a person explaining their story idea that revolved around two lovers, where one was cursed to kill the other and the other was always resurrected only for it to repeat, and i believe the characters were POC. in your response you seemed quite upset that such a plot was happening to POC characters specifically and it confused me because it sort of read as if you were mad that a bad thing was happening to a POC character in a story, which i genuinely didn't understand (i really don't want to sound rude, i'm being sincere), because it came off as advocating for only good and happy and nice things to be reserved for POC characters and if an author dared write something bad or traumatic happening to a POC character it's immediately 'poor narrative', and i personally don't agree with that take, because i feel like that reduces a POC character to just being POC instead of a person, which I feel like hurts POC rep in fiction, because being upset someone wrote something bad happening to a POC character makes it all about just that character being POC instead of just a regular person something bad has happened to in the story that just happens to be a person of color at the same time. my god this has gotten long, i got very interested in hearing more about this because i personally didn't quite understand and it sounded wrong to me, your original response. if you do reply to this, thank you, i hope i didn't sound rude, i do genuinely want to learn, because even tho i typed all this out i still feel like i'm wrong about this & missed the point somewhere

Disclaimer: please do not pile onto the ask about a Black woman murdered by her lover, as the asker has realized the issues with the ask. We are presently addressing the attitude of “why can’t bad things happen to PoC?” in this comment, with the name retracted, because it’s an attitude that crops up every once and awhile.

-

You have missed our extensive backlog of posts about double standards re: PoC and white characters, wherein we describe, at length, how we are uncomfortable that PoC characters get extra bad stuff that’s treated as “organic” because our history is full of suffering, when white characters often don’t get that same thing.

like White Authors and Topics to Avoid/Tread Carefully

and Writing About PoC Trials and Tribulations

We ask that people question why they decide to automatically make someone suffering a violent constant-death-loop be a person of colour, especially multiply marginalized (Black, woman, LGBTQ+). Because there are already too many stories of characters of colour (especially multiply marginalized) suffering needlessly and oftentimes worse than the white characters for the sake of a plot.

You completely misread the heart of the reply, which was “why are you forcing Black women to suffer the worst fate imaginable (murder) in one of the most emotionally heartbreaking way imaginable (at the hands of your lover) multiple times in order to “earn her happy ending”? this is tragedy exploitation and is making a mockery of trauma”

PoC already have enough stories about us traumatized by circumstance. And while we can suffer, narratively, part of systemic racism is only telling stories of PoC when we are suffering as the sole marker of the plot. Especially when characters of colour are suffering disproportionately to lighter skinned characters.

You also missed the part where Marika said that even if it were white characters, they would be uncomfortable because constantly pulling out murder as a curse is lazy writing.

All we ask is: why did the asker decide that a woman of colour must suffer to the point of repeated murder before she can be happy? Why does she have to forgive the person who did it to her? Because that is a logic born of passive racism that tells people: women of colour, especially darker skinned/Black women, can “handle anything”. And that is a lie.

~Mod Lesya

Echoing Lesya, I’m puzzled as to how you came to the conclusion that “If an author dared to write something bad or traumatic happening to a POC character, it’s immediately a poor narrative” when I explicitly said I thought this was cheap theatrics and tragedy exploitation even if both characters were white, particularly as the ask had given me no conception of the author’s motivation in using the curse as a dramatic device. In Japanese, we jokingly use the word 中二病 (Chuunibyo) or “8th grade disease” to describe edgelord phases for teens. This is a 中二病 plot device. It’s perfectly fine for niche angst addicts on ao3, but not something I would be able to take seriously in a more substantive work aimed at a larger audience. I think it is also telling that even the original asker has commented that they independent of our answer concluded this was a poor plot choice.

Finally, with respect to your question of the usage of negative tropes like the ones mentioned in this ask (Misogynoir and Bury Your Gays), I am concerned that you do not understand the motive for this blog. Our purpose is to provide instruction to those who wish to use diversity in their writing in an inclusive manner in ways that resonate with marginalized populations. We are not proposing a ban on tropes. They are tools, but like all tools, they have appropriate forms of use. Do you honestly think that many BIPOC individuals would be happy to read a story with this kind of tragedy exploitation? And how would you, as an author, factor in their impressions when writing your own works?

No one can stop a writer from pursuing the narratives they wish to pursue, but the opinions a writer is primarily concerned with says a lot about who a writer believes their work is for. Let us say I were to write a story with a gratuitous depiction of sexual assault purely for the shock value, despite never having experienced sexual assault myself? How might survivors of sexual assault regard both me and my work? Now imagine BIPOC individuals whose main experience with representation in media is seeing characters look like them die from the kinds of violence that are common for them to experience, and it should become clear that an author who adopts these approaches, at a bare minimum, is being exceptionally tactless. A writer who finds no issue with tragedy exploitation involving BIPOC characters is likely not a writer who cares about what the BIPOC members of their audience think, or, even worse, does not even factor BIPOC perspectives into their writing.

Black lgbt woman murdered repeatedly by lover as part of curse, but with a “happy ending”

I am not a fan of a Black (and “lgbt”) woman character being murdered, over and over again. It may very well read like grotesque and needless suffering. Black stories in media are full of trauma narratives and this seems like yet another one, proving that even in fantasy, we aren’t allowed to fully enjoy escapism and must stay grounded in death, pain and suffering.

This goes beyond just a physical suffering; I could only imagine there’s a real psychological burden, knowing your lover has deprived you of life and murdered you for countless years (curse or no).  

Not to mention, regarding the mixed African Egyptian woman: 

there has to be an extreme level of trauma and guilt upon realizing you’ve murdered this person endlessly too. 

There’s also an association with violence being placed on the Egyptian character. Such topics deserve exploration in the novel. 

On both accounts, from a representation standpoint, it ain’t great. Do you have other African American and Egyptian characters with less tragic storylines? 

I predict it will be difficult for readers to leave the story with the impression of it all being happy and wholesome, as you say it is in the end. The Black American woman choosing not to remember the “bad parts” (to put it lightly) allows the narrative to ignore the issue and avoid unpacking that trauma., However, it doesn’t let you off the hook, as the author, who chose to write this. We, the readers, remember.

Takeaways

You should really ask yourself “why?” Is there a point to creating a curse of this nature beyond an easy means for sensational shock value? Perhaps if I knew your motivations, this idea wouldn’t seem as alarming.

In what other ways could you give them a tumultuous past without resulting in the Black (lgbt) woman being subjected to death in every one of them? 

Are you willing to respectfully explore the extreme trauma, suffering and implications that comes from the results of such a curse? 

I suggest you alter the nature of this curse while keeping the dramatic stakes high. Explore a different means for the curse that keeps these lovers from being happy until now. One that doesn’t automatically equate the Black woman’s life as worthless, ending in murder at her lover’s hands. 

~Mod Colette

I have Thoughts. Let us approach this clinically. I think it’s worth thinking about why you, the author, thought this curse from the villains was a good idea. 

Firstly, the perspective matters. Whose perspective is this story from and how will this curse affect their character development (both in the past and present)? That in itself will give some indication as to the utility of the curse for the story. 

Secondly, from a narrative perspective, what is compelling about being cursed to be killed by (or cursed to kill) a loved one over and over as a dramatic device? This isn’t rhetorical. I’m curious what particularly about this idea appeals to you; what you are trying to convey to your audience because I have no sense of your thinking based on this ask. 

As a reader, even if both characters were white, I wouldn’t read this story because this feels like emotional manipulation via tragedy exploitation. That sounds either boring or unpleasant. I think if you can successfully parse what exactly you are trying to express, better options that don’t rely on BIPOC pain may emerge. 

There is the separate issue of making a Black, queer character a repeated victim of violence at the hands of a trusted person (I mean, at a minimum this is both misogynoir and “Bury your gays” to quite the extreme, even with the reincarnation component), but shame and call-outs are rarely effective teachers. You are clearly aware this is a poor narrative choice and I’d rather you focus your energies determining what so attracted you to this concept and how to elicit the emotional reaction you are seeking without relying on cheap theatrics. 

PSA to all of our users: motivation matters

This lack of clarity w/r to intent has been a general issue with many recent questions. please remember that if you don’t explain your motivations and what you intend to communicate to your audience with your plot choices, character attributes, world-building etc., we cannot effectively advise you beyond the information you provide. We Are Not Mind Readers.  If, when drafting these questions, you realize you can’t explain your motivations, that is likely a hint that you need to think more on the rationales for your narrative decisions. My recommendation is to read our archives and articles on similar topics for inspiration while you think. I will be attaching this PSA to all asks with similar issues until the volume of such questions declines. 

@an-unseemly-gentleman​ submitted:

Hello! This blog and mod team are amazing! I have a question I have struggled to find previous asks for.

I have a story set in late victorian Scotland and a central character is half English (father) and half Chinese (mother) but due to her mother dying in childbirth and her father being a sailor. She was raised by her white great aunt in rural England and so is disconnected from her mothers culture and she feels that disconnect deeply. This is exasperated by being a lesbian and so feeling dosconected from the white christian culture she is being raised in too. Her father later rejected her as his daughter and does not aknowledge her after re-marrying. This hurt her as a child but thinks of it as a blessing as an adult as she owes him no loyalty. Disconect is a theme shared between all the character and she bonds with the MC through both being gay and not having their parents in their lives. With all this being said, I am concerned I am telling a story that is not mine to tell. Do you have any guidence for avoiding or remedying racist tropes with this back story and how this would effect someone?

Side note. In the actualy story i have no intention of having her face any racism or microagreasions as its completly unnecessary even for ‘historical accuracy’. This is all in her backstory that is revealed through conversation she has with other characters.

I greatly value this groups advice and I fully intend to take everything you have to say on-board.

First Things First: Race

First, I personally very much dislike this textbook Tragic Mulatto backstory that you’ve set up for this character. Sailor/expat white father? Tragic POC mother? *Yawn.* White parents rejecting their mixed children is a horrible (and really, overdone) plot device that has a long IRL history. And for some reason, monoracial people are obsessed with it. Even if the father’s reasons for rejecting her are unrelated (eg. if she were born out of wedlock, etc) the associations are subtextual and cannot be erased (especially in the born-out-of-wedlock example lol). Unless you’re mixed-race, don’t go here, please. 

Beyond that, I wonder if these struggles with identity are even something you would see at all for mixed race individuals in the time period. Your description of your character’s internal conflict sounds very modern to me. I’d wager that she would focus on her difficulty with being accepted into monoracial society (especially in the time of miscegenation laws) rather than worry about losing touch with her heritage. Even as recent as the 80s, the concern was more with xenophobia rather than embracing difference/diversity (eg. one of my older coworkers gave her half-Japanese daughter an English name & didn’t teach her Japanese for fear of discrimination, and connection to Japanese culture was secondary if not tertiary). 

But this is also the reason that I say that I’m very uncomfortable with an outsider writing this story. In your attempt at avoiding a tragedy exploitation story (which, considering the parental backstory it was a rather poor attempt), you’ve swerved into an identity story. Please read through our Can I Write About X tag. 

Historical Considerations

Research real LGBT history in the Victorian era to see the ways in which people we’d consider queer today navigated society, labels, family, and interpersonal relationships. Consider this: 

What married individuals did behind closed doors was no one’s business, as long as it wasn’t made public and as long as they followed all the rules (have children, fulfill your role in society, etc.). 

Even then, bachelor and spinster cultures were a thing, and there was a place in society for unmarried individuals (even if it wasn’t the ideal). 

However, acceptance significantly depended on social class and ethnicity.

The MC’s awareness of the cultural whiteness and cultural Christianity of her society seems unrealistic to me as well; it’s kind of a This Is Water type of situation, and most people in the 21st century don’t even have awareness of cultural christianity. Queer culture wasn’t as activist-oriented as it is today. 

Your MC is more likely to be conscious of the distinctions between different Christian sects, and their varying places in society, and may feel alienated by certain religious teachings rather than meditate on the hegemonic institution that is the Church. 

Despite institutional barriers and “don’t talk about it” social taboo, queer people back then found their own communities and subcultures to thrive in, and I think it is a much more radical and compelling story to depict that. 

If you’re wlw and you still would like to write an angst narrative, that is OwnVoices and your prerogative of course, but just know that 1) the experience didn’t look at all like the way homophobia does today, so you need more research, and 2) historical suffering narratives are also just as overdone, and don’t capture the nuanced joys and hurdles of queer life before the contemporary age. 

I can’t see this story working out in the temporal context that it’s in. The struggle themes you’ve set up simply aren’t compatible, or aren’t particularly interesting. I’d encourage you to start doing extra reading, or better yet, reconsider your setting and premise. You can write a nice, queer, found-family bonding narrative that discusses community, disconnection, and religion without the complications we’ve discussed above. 

Filipino and Vietnamese: Tropes to avoid

Vietnamese Exclamations

I’m not sure if it’s specifically Vietnamese (rather, just an East and Southeast Asian thing), but my family uses “ai-yah”. Adding on, this is probably more Singaporean Vernacular English but we tend to add “lah” at the end of statements too: “Who drank my tea, lah!”

I won’t be able to give you specific phrases in Vietnamese as I’m not fluent in the language itself, so contributions from Vietnamese speaking readers are appreciated! 

Behavior

To be honest, I don’t come from a predominantly Vietnamese household so I don’t have the experience to tell you specific behaviors towards rescuers; However, Asian households usually teach us to be grateful towards positive opportunities, my own Southeast-East Asian family has established concepts of Karma as well. 

White Saviorism

As for tropes: you haven’t specified the protagonists’ races or ethnicities, so I’d like to point out that (especially since these workers are all POC) you’ll have to avoid depicting a white savior narrative. Are your protagonists also Filipino and Vietnamese? Is this an OwnVoices situation? 

(Lisa and Rina make some great additions below in terms of other racist tropes in this situation!)

~ Mod Emme

Filipino Expressions

While I know you might be looking for Filipino phrases or exclamations, it’s worth noting that there exist a variety of regional languages in the Philippines that aren’t Tagalog (what most people know as the “Filipino” language), each with their own expressions for emotional distress, so be sure to look into that! Regional and provincial websites are a good place to start.

That being said, some phrases are relatively universal - take for example, “Ay!” as an expression of surprise. 

Hostage Situations

I’ll be honest - I’m a bit uncomfortable with the idea of Southeast Asian characters in a hostage situation, considering majority of hostage situations I’ve read about in Southeast Asian news tend to be associated with human trafficking and exploitation, which vulnerable POC in “developing” countries often fall prey to. 

While I don’t know anything about the hostage situation you’re writing (I could be completely off the mark!), the fact that the characters in question are described as (1) workers (see: The ASEAN Post: “ASEAN’s migrant workers live in fear”) and (2) exclusively Filipino and Vietnamese sets off alarm bells. If so, I’d suggest exploring a different plotline - while especially relevant in a globalized age, it’s an Own Voices story to tell.

~ Mod Lisa

Similar disclaimer that I’m working with the little info you’ve given us. Portraying Southeast Asians as exploited labourers is just as much cliché as it is offensive. American white saviour media with specifically Filipino, Vietnamese, and Korean populations being saved is extremely abundant and overdone because…you know…historical context…of certain 20th century wars. If your protagonists are American, on top of being distasteful, what you’re doing is probably not even that original.